Jokes of the day...keep it clean!

[Giulietta]

But then, in the end....he ended up building the arch in China, with American materials, and French technology, the guy happy with its sailing performances and his achievement...posted it on Sailnet.... Jeff H would have a say in the end about the arch, its sailing characteristics and construction....in a 12 page post indicating all of its bad qualities

[Giulietta]

Curious, he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it is a retired Portuguese Sailor. The Portuguese Sailor suddenly unzips his pants, whips out a huge organ, and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the retired Portuguese Sailor is carried off on the shoulders of the envious crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees the same faded banner. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are on the table. The Portuguese Sailor stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts in the same manner, as before. The crowd goes wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible," he tells the Portuguese Sailor, "but I have to know something. You're older now. Why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," says the Portuguese Sailor, "My eyes aren't what they used to be!"

[camaraderie]

Giu...LOL!

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.



The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said,
"You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."



Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.



There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:
"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

[PBzeer]

LOL, good one.

[tdw]

Why wasn't Jesus born in Sydney?
They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin.

What's an Australians idea of foreplay?
You awake?

What's a Tasmanians idea of foreplay?
You awake, mum?

[Waymar83]

You see all those people protesting while President Bush was in South America? Bush hasn't heard that many people shouting 'Gringo go home' since his last trip to L.A." --Jay Leno

"Thirty towns in Vermont have voted to impeach President Bush, but Bush says he doesn't care what a bunch of Canadians think." --Jay Leno

"Monday was Presidents' Day, and as expected, President Bush was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents." --Amy Poehler

[sailaway21]

So the Portagee died way to young and far from the sea. Some say it was via a venomous snake while others claim an STD found only in sheep. Upon entering the pearly gates, and meeting St. Pete, he gazed about him only to see the wind whipping up a bay of water. In a flash he saw a Tayana streak across the bay, her lee rail buried. Could that be? No way! He turned to St. Pete and asked, "Is it true?" St. Pete responded, "Is what true?" The Portagee mournfully cried, "oh, it's true, it's true, Camaraderie is dead, oh woe" St Pete responded, "That's not Camaraderie. That's God. He only thinks he's Camaraderie."

[camaraderie]

... see...even God doesn't know where I draw "the line"!!

[werebeagle]

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, "The Advertiser", a Lafayette , Louisiana , newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in cane fields near New Iberia , Gaston Boudreaux, a self taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Gaston has, therefore, concluded that 300 years ago Cajuns were already using wireless."

[Giulietta]

Originally Posted by sailaway21

a Tayana streak across the bay, her lee rail buried.

The joke was funny...but this...BEATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tayana...streak ....rail buried in one sentence

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhA

Thank you .....made me happy!!!