"Off Topic" FAQ's

[ReverendMike]

Q. What is "Off Topic forum?"
A. The Off Topic forum is a sophisticated and reliable instrument designed to force perfect strangers to agree with you about everything. The manual has been lost, but it is believed that if you use it correctly
the Off Topic forum will enable you to change history, control thoughts and restructure reality itself. Some functions (such as the "time annihilation" feature) are relatively accessible and easy to use. Others (such as "instant forced religious conversion") are for expert users only.


Q: I posted something quite interesting and have gotten no responses, am I invisible?
A: Yes.

Q. Who owns the Off Topic forum?
A. That has yet to be decided. Someday, a forumite may appear who is so boring or rude that nobody else will be able to stand the place. The Off Topic forum will then belong to that member. Until then, the Off Topic forum is freely shared by all, much like the gold in "Treasure of the Sierra Madre."

Q. Somebody called me an "ass, and full of crap"? Why did this happen?
A. Because you are one.

Q. How do I keep my thread from sinking?
A. You post something wise and insightful and invite civil commentary on it. Ha ha! I'm kidding. Just Insert the word "gun" or "God" in the Topic heading.

Q. Are their any known side effects?
A. Drowsiness,irritability,high bloodpressure, and in rare cases loss of sex drive.

Q. Somebody has posted a thread I find uninteresting or offensive. Should I ignore it and let it sink out of sight?
A. At first, that might seem like the obvious thing to do. However, the accepted practice is to keep the thread at the top of the page by repeatedly posting strenuous objections to it. The logic behind this approach is subtle, but irresistable.

Q. I have a mysterious, possibly life-threatening medical condition. Should I ask a group of boat enthusiasts to diagnose my ailment and prescribe treatment?
A. Why, yes! I can't think of any way that could go wrong.

Q. Is it true that online forums are addictive?
A. Shush, I'm typing.

Q.Do you have to understand the previous post before you comment , disagree or go off on a crazy tangent.
A.The real issue is clearly the type of batteries that should be used in a electric SUV.

Q.Aren't posts about dogs usually a lot longer?
A.Yes , yes they are.

Q. I have been using the Off Topic forum for months, but I still cannot control the thoughts and actions of the other members. I have tried everything, but they keep saying things I didn't tell them to say and living in ways I don't especially like. What is wrong?
A. You are too polite. Take the gloves off and let 'em have it! Where persuasion fails, bitterness and intransigence will carry the day. Never forget: your opinions are the most beautiful things ever made by God, and the other members will thank you, in the end, for stuffing these lovely things down their unworthy throats.

Q. I posted a thred 2 minutes ago and its gone what happened to it?
A. WHO CARES!!

Q. Im tired of all the political religious war and pyscho babble threads how can I stop them from appearing on my screen?
A GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Q. Your like a bunch of grumpy angry bitter children in a school sandpit grow up!
A. Its our flamin sandpit buggar off if you dont like it join in if you dont care

Q. WHY DONT PEOPLE HERE LIKE ME?
A Cause yer friggin shoutin!!

Q I TYPE IN CAPITALS CAUSE I CANT SEE THE FONT IF I DONT
A Get some new bloody bifocals yer dopey ol git!

Q I asked this question at ....... forum and didnt get a very good answer can you help me
A Whats the flamin question?

I saw these on another site and thought they could come in handy here (there was cutting and pasting involved, which is why the writing style varies)

[danjarch]

I totally disagree with the content of this thead. I think you should cease and desist, you crazy, nutjob. How dare you make light of the very real and important opinions that I post. You best pray to your gun that I don't come after you with my god. It's the wimpy pink tu-tu wearing commies like you that are ruining my fantasy. ( this rant brought to you by the makers of MY BOOT UP YOUR ASS MESSAGING SYSTEMS)

[T34C]

Lol!!!!!!!

[tdw]

Says it all, really.

[painkiller]

I'm curious about that electric SUV. Do you think a Solarstik would be beneficial?

[danjarch]

Yea, but repositioning the panel is a Little harder on the interstate. You should crawl out of the passenger side window, this is so you do not negatively effect the gravitational pull that the moon has on your amp hour capacity. Then after you have double checked that all laws of physics are in a nonlocal calling plan. Carefully tap the panel on the aft curb with a sledge hammer. Finally you should invest in the latest messaging system from MY BOOT UP YOU ASS.

[sailaway21]

Hey, what are you guy's doing over here? I was just about to make a very important point over there! (VBG)

[sailingdog]

You forgot about Giu's
BIG RED LETTERS

[ReverendMike]

Q: Are good photoshop skills necessary to participate in the "off topic" forum?
A: No, just post a photo of youself and Gui will 'take care' of it from there....

Q: Is anything ever actually resolved in the "off topic" forums?
A: Why? Is that a good idea?

[sailorjim99]

G'day guys

This is one of the better threads for a long while.
You are right about GUN and GOD.

This one will be here for a L O N G T I M E.

How does the song go?
" Not enough fruit cakes and too many bakers".

Keep it coming. (LOL)

Jim