11-03-2007
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Owner, Green Bay Packers
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SW Michigan
Posts: 10,322
Rep Power: 9
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Lest this noble, and eminently worthwhile, gesture turn in to something resembling a naval architect's plans for replacing the Canadian navy's ship; could the prefix to the glorious craft be changed from steamship to something more appropriate to the dignity and grace of both craft and potential owner?
In a crass attempt to gin up more support for the effort I herewith offer the following inducements. I will limit all future postings on sailnet to three paragraphs of no more than three sentences each. I will immediately beqeath my sea-going yellow Lab to Valiente as he is far stronger and much more reliable than any outboard Honda produces. My lovely daughter, whose whereabouts are currently unknown, I leave in the capable hands of the Giulietta family; you'll need to locate her soon as the university is insisting that someone pay for the classes she did not attend last semester before allowing her to commit to not attending classes this semester. My Ford truck, complete with propeller hitch cover, I bequeath to Camaraderie. The visqueen currently serving as a windshield is becoming somewhat opaque but I am confident that a GPS navigator of your experience will find it no obstacle. Wiggle the small ground wire to start in rainy weather. Title to my house I leave to Sailhog, it's walking distance to the meat-packing plant if the job at the school next door as audio-visual arts director doesn't work out. To ebs and Sailormann I leave my health insurance card; I anticipate no trouble in them both using it what with American immigration policy being what it is, and everyone knows that one Canadian looks as much alike as another. Title, and mortgage, to the new house with no kitchen, I leave to Jerry. There's room to park a helicopter where one would normally expect to see a kitchen. And the upstairs apartment is rented to a nymphomaniac who cooks I think, at least it sounds like there's an electric egg beater running up there most of the time. After much contemplation, I leave my wife, complete with power tools, to bestfriend. bestfriend's initial genorosity did not go un-noticed and while he labors under the belief that breaking up is hard to do, I feel that the resultant experience he will gain will disabuse him of the notion. Besides, she owns everything from the latest Makita 18volt Lithium-Ion cordless drill, to ceramic tile saw, articulating compound miter saw with stand, all the way up to snowblower-and is skilled in operating all of them. You'll have no trouble shopping her, if it doesn't work out, on the HGTV therapy site. Lastly, I will leave the vessel formerly known as Emily Marie, a 1973 21' Cal, to Cruisingdad, in an effort to acquaint him with real sailing. She has no railings, thus nowhere to mount a grill, and I will not depart for extended cruising on board the Flicka before the re-naming of her as the BITE ME! is complete. The BITE ME! will come equipped with sails and I am sure that Camaraderie will be willing to tow you to a suitable launching site with the Ford and issue rudimentary information on their use. To those I have been unable to compensate, I have so little, I would thank you for your genorosity and advise you to stay in close contact with bestfriend. I suspect he is not really into gardening and I like to think of the wife as the gift that keeps on giving; did I mention she owns a belt sander, a power-washer, and two shop-vacs? Thankyou all for your generosity.
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“Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.”
Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.
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