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Old 04-13-2008
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Things sons teach you

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like…

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the dige stive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) ‘Play Dough’ and ‘microwave’ should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject PB &J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Old 04-13-2008
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Thats great, so I see you met my son ?
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Old 04-13-2008
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That about covers it all except for the part about how to live broke.
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Old 04-13-2008
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It is my contention that the father of a boy, and particularly of boys, who arrives home and views the door to the barn laying on the ground needs no further evidence before questioning and convicting the seven year old boy of complicity in it's removal. The same father with the same barn and door, observing the same thing twenty years later has absolutely no rational reason to question anyone else either. This principle seems to apply to all fathers, all sons, and any device of a remotely mechanical nature. It's questionable as to exactly what age the symptoms of the affliction diminish.

Daughters are not much better as they will bring these boys into your life without your consent. And the state frowns on commisions of corporal punishment against children not your own.
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Old 04-13-2008
sailaway21 sailaway21 is offline
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Without delving too much into the chemistry, it's worth noting that the mixture of bleach and brake fluid will probably result in the release of chlorine gas. The effect on the mosquitos in your backyard might be the least of your worries!
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Old 04-14-2008
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Great post!!!!!
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Old 04-14-2008
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I fear i still (at age 40) fall into the 80% on #25. Thanks for the warning sway, I might not try it now...
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Old 04-14-2008
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I am gonna try it. I'll just stand to windward when I do. Chlorine gas is colorless, right? So a lot of the smoke has to be oil.
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Old 04-14-2008
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2Gringos,

Can I add to the list?

Putting three active boys to bed (ages 6 and under) is more fun than playing that "Whack the gopher" game

Hearing a whispered "Don't worry, Mom, I cleaned it up" is an infallible nap-ender

Then there was the time the 4 year old walked across the street to the drugstore and shoplifted a toy for his older brother who’d gotten sent to his room. We still don’t know how the kid pulled it off, since the store door was impossibly heavy glass and the toy he brought home was twice his size. Marched his butt right back to the store, trying not to laugh our asses off.

This is the same kid who conned his older brother into hiding in the dryer, then tired of the game and left his poor brother stuck in the dryer for 2 hrs.

Boys – never a dull moment! They’re grown and gone now, and I miss the fun and chaos!
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Old 04-14-2008
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LOL 2G

I knew I wanted Girls...and thats what I got...thanks for reminding me..
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