The Poor Man's Standing Hair Replacement

Cruisingdad · #1 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

I was going to put this under the Poor Man's Standing Block Replacement, but decided to put it here instead since it was about what affects some sailors, not sailing itself.

Here is what you will need:

Note! THis is very important!!! If you do not own a dog, or only have a big fat dog that does not swim, or the dog does not match your hair color, YOU WILL NEED ANOTHER DOG. Your neighbor's dog will work.

If he is a vicious little (you know what), smack him (or both of them) on the head.

Here is Step One:

Use these together:

You will know you have used the bat enough when they each look like this:

Step Two:

Step Three:

Please note: THis dog was only for illustration and only for red-heads!! If you have black hair, this is not the right dog!! Do not get mad at me if you shave the wrong dog. This is the Poor Man's Standing Hair Replacement, not the The Hair CLub for Men. Ok???

Step Four:

With a generous amount of 5200, connect the hair to the head. If they start to stir a little, smack 'em with the bat again. It is important they not move during this part.

Final Product:

A little color has been added to enhance the pic, but all in all, I think good results.

WARNING!! WARNING!!!

Not even 5200, which can hold ships together and would have kept the Titanic from sinking, will keep all the hair on. You will see streaking (around the upper corners). I strongly suggest, if you are a sailor, putting up a dodger to help suppress wind which could cause the hair loss. You will see many racers doing it these days. If you feel embarrased about the dodger, just blame it on your wife or something.

I am also not responsible if the final product is still as ugly and old as before. This is The Poor Man's Standing Hair Replacement... not the Rich Man's Fountain of Youth!!!

I hope this and the illustrations help.

- CD

Giulietta · #2 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

CD go "foder" yourself....

sailortjk1 · #3 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

I would laugh, but I can't.
As you all know, I fall into the catagory of those in need of a hair replacement.

Cruisingdad · #4 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giulietta

CD go "foder" yourself....

HEHEHEHEH!!!!!

AHh, sorry.... I owed you a couple.

- CD

T34C · #5 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

I have a quick questions to help clarify these proceedures. If you look like that (see above) which end of the dog to you shave the from???? In the red head example it shows the hair being harvested from the dogs side. I'm just not sure if that will work in the above example.

Cruisingdad · #6 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by T34C

I have a quick questions to help clarify these proceedures. If you look like that (see above) which end of the dog to you shave the from???? In the red head example it shows the hair being harvested from the dogs side. I'm just not sure if that will work in the above example.

It really all depends on the person to be applied to. There is no right or wrong answer here. Just smell them first - you will know which end to shave from.

- CD