Seems like it CD's birthday and the old man is barely reaching puberty yet. Sure you fingers are aching, and you back is stiff, and as a result you rarely ever sail anymore. Its a good thing G is around to show you how to photoshop - less your pics would always be those where it it still tethered to a life saving device that we, commonly refer to in the sailing community as a pier or a dock.
Having recently just gotten out of puberty and now approaching social security age at the ripe age of 39 - I do feel your pain. However, the pain you are feeling - the numbness, "well since I can't sail - I have to pleasure myself somehow"
I provide the audience with an actual snapshot of his desktop:
Now the thing about turning late 30 something, is that you are that much closer to AARP recruitment. Yeah we know you gybed someone else on the same issue, but did you know they lowered their acceptance age to 36?
And well - since now you are no longer a spring chicken, but not quite one aged enough that the skin falls off the bones when boiled... you should start keeping some things in mind:
That BBQ grill obsession. There will now become a point and time, where the CG regs will state if you have 2 or more on your vessel (well your floating - wished it was a condo), you will be classified as a resteraunt and therefore subject to health inspections. Naturally, you being one that reads up on things and, thinking that since you have some winches on your mast - that you are a healthy sailor... no mon... it means that they come down with the health department and, when you bend over to and go "I am ready for the prostate exam" - your result will be that BoatUS will be there, ready to tow you and that thing you call a sailboat away.
Yeah - you remember the mice thread. Get rid of the buckets - it doesn;t hide actually that hair loss or drown mice.
And starting tomorrow - you will notice that unlike G, the hair on your head has gravitated to your ears and your nose, and maybe that butt crack but we imagine you already braid it there. What ever else hair you have, will now start to seeming look grey. Forget that hair color for men - shoe polish is your best bet..and you can use it on some of the winches you have that are powder coated to regain that lost luster from non-use.
This is also the time your significant other will demand that if somehow you do comply with the Health Department inspections, and the BBQs you have waning from stern to bow. The Significant other will declare it is time to replace them with George Foreman grills. Their is no notoriety in that btw...
Agingis a great process and glad you are now entering the land of those wanting to live a little - or at least have a pace maker that works..(Tech Hint: you can attach strobes to your heart from your C-80 alarm output - to give the stimulus you need - just set the anchor watch to 2 feet...since that is the max you go anyways - its better than aspirin and you will look cooler than say mr high tech with the bluetooth headset to ear (SD?))... I will let you in on a little secret from the Bald Mens Society - bluetooth headsets are rumored to spurt growth where hair recedes...
I am sure I could up with others... but I would rather call your house at 3 AM or logon under a fictitious name promoting with my first post some solar / passive energy collecting motor invention stating that you bought one from me, or post a heavily edited porn video that somehow is oriented around the BBQs - I'd call it "Girls under the BBQ - Whose got the propane"...
But you seem still somewhat senile although that changes tomorrow when you wake up and realize that "holy crap - I am too old not to have circumnavigated yet"...
Cheers to you my friend!
A Toast a Roast, and not withstanding notta boast - Happy Birthday...
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