Stupid News of the Day

[danjarch]

We don't have a shortage of water, we have a shortage of politics. It's true in Somalia as well as America. Oklahoma has an excess of water but doesn't want Texas to have it. I know that I make it sound petty, the sad part is that is about what's going on.

At first a private company had arranged with the local government in Oklahoma to buy some of the excess water, then the state stepped in and claimed that the water belonged to the state. Of course the state refused to sell at any price.

So then a couple of local Texas government went in together and made an agreement with the state of Oklahoma. But wait, the state legislature decided to change the law so that Texas can't have the water.

Of course contracts had been signed this time, so the whole thing is bouncing around the courts right now. What the reason given for Oklahoma refusing to sell the water, they want people to move to Oklahoma. So rather then change the regulatory structure to encourage more businesses to move, lowering the taxes, or taking on the unions, Oklahoma would rather hope that once Texas runs out of water, people and companies will move to Oklahoma rather then figure out some other way to get water.

[SailKing1]

Dan, we had that same problem in Virginia Beach years back. We draw our water from Lake Gaston. When Va Beach wanted to run a pipeline from Gaston it turned into a huge court battle of water rights. We won in the end but the battle was time consuming and costly.

[RAGNAR]

I just want to add that excellent incentives to conserve are built into the market of any commodity. Where water is scarce it cost more and people adjust their lives to that reality. Where water is plentiful, that abundance is seen as a minor plus of living in a certain area. (ADM has been able to feed the starving world for at least a decade. It's politics that prevent them from doing so profitably, not greed, not supply issues, not costs.)

It's today's disdain for freedom, a result of an education system gone indoctrination/welfare/daycare/jobs program, that explains the ease with which me make emergencies out of non-issues.

[MikeGuyver]

since when does interesting and smoking have anything to do with each other?

[knothead]

Originally Posted by SailKing1

Now thats funny, A town named Big Spring dose not have any water.

This seems appropriate.

God said: "Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles."

St. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD:
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Sir.

GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE:
'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

[SloopJonB]

Originally Posted by zomazi

Now thats funny, A town named Big Spring dose not have any water.

Does that mean that I should take visiting French Lick off my bucket list?

[Artwerke]

I lived in Big Spring untill a couple years ago. All I can say about the water there is, Mixing a little pee with it would probably help the taste, The stuff was already so salty it would kill your plants if you watered them with it,leave salt rings on your car if you washed it with it without drying it off before the 110 degree heat evaporated it. It wasn't good for much but flushing**** down the pipe anyway.