So, I am now doing my part to play along with Global Warming idealisms, in the hopes that I can reverse the Glamor Cooling - that seems to be rampant of the ladies here locally. Those beauties whom sneered at me when I went to drive them home but the discovered I drive a gas guzzling, emissions smoking, lifted 4X4 even though the amount of cosmetics and bottled waters they went through in just a 3 hour date was enough to make the Saudi oil reserves dry up tomorrow.
One may know that drinking bottled water is good for ones health and therefore offsets the damages done by all the waste generated from those plastic containers. I did ask a lady about that:
"Well, bottled water keeps me healthy and if I am healthy then I can be a more aggressive activist. You wouldn't want me to die tomorrow from drinking tap water would you?", she replied.
I asked another woman about her cosmetic use. I explained to her that it takes just as much in terms of barrels of oil to produce her fancy cosmetics as it does to create those plastic bottles for bottled water. Her reply, "Well all I care about is that no animals are used for testing, and if it takes more oil to do that then...
then I guess I am making it up by driving a Prius."
I have been doing more than asking questions and concentrating the awareness on the real issues. I did try to trade-in that ecological disaster of a ride I own - but not a single dealership would take it as trade citing some new EPA restrictions regarding pre-1980 vehicles. It was a shame to, because as I was leaving it broke down. It took 6 hours for the tow company to show up. The reason? "Sorry, ran out of
fuel cell juice." So, a tow truck driver has
fuel cells for power and yet not a single marine application there-of.
Finally, get it towed - borrow a friends Corrola, and go get groceries. Sign on the door stating: "Effective immediately: Plastic and paper bags are no longer provided free of charge. .50 cent per bag penalty which will go to the City of Global Disproportions."
I high tale it home, grab an old sea duffel bag. You know those things - big green canvas bag you see military people toting around. I still had mine, so threw it into the front seat and back to the store. I start loading it up. I guess I could of used a cart but since I was going to have to lug it up 15 stairs as my condo management has turned off the elevators in the effort to be more green - may as well only fill it up to what capacity I felt I could lug it up.
I always start at aisle 1 and work my way around. This way I make sure that at the end of my shopping of goods that I actually need - I have no room for the fofo desserts and other high priced luxury foods. I am not even to aisle 3 when three uniformed policemen on Segways no less, come up behind me and instruct me to "Drop the bag, get on your knees with your hands behind your back".
Eventually we get to a dialogue, and I explain that no I am not stealing, just doing the recycling thing and the positive thing for the environment. They didn't seem to impressed, but had a store clerk bring me a cart. The officers pour the items in the duffle bag into the cart and instruct me to proceed to the counter.
And the clerk asks me if I want paper or plastic. I stammer and go - no just put it in the cart.
"Sorry sir, all items must be bagged and if you did not bring your own - we will have to charge you 50 cents for the paper and 75 cents for the plastic."
"But I have...", I started to stammer...
"He'll have the plastic bags", one of the officers said and then tossed three Evian water bottles, 6 Kit Kats and a copy of Esquire on top of my groceries. "And those as well."
The clerk and officers must have done this racket before, as I watched in horror as each item was placed into a separate bag. The total for the bags alone was exceeding the cost of my groceries!
They kindly escort me to my car, where I start unloading everything into the trunk of the borrowed Corolla.
"May I have my duffle bag back?", I asked.
"No, we don't want you to attempt this again. Consider it a warning. Have a great day."
And off they go - riding three Segways and one of them wearing the duffle bag loaded with 3 Evian Bottles, 6 Kit Kats,a magazine and ... 7 plastic bags.
Tayana 52 Ketch
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