The problem with the world...

artbyjody · #1 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

So, I am now doing my part to play along with Global Warming idealisms, in the hopes that I can reverse the Glamor Cooling - that seems to be rampant of the ladies here locally. Those beauties whom sneered at me when I went to drive them home but the discovered I drive a gas guzzling, emissions smoking, lifted 4X4 even though the amount of cosmetics and bottled waters they went through in just a 3 hour date was enough to make the Saudi oil reserves dry up tomorrow.

One may know that drinking bottled water is good for ones health and therefore offsets the damages done by all the waste generated from those plastic containers. I did ask a lady about that:

"Well, bottled water keeps me healthy and if I am healthy then I can be a more aggressive activist. You wouldn't want me to die tomorrow from drinking tap water would you?", she replied.

I asked another woman about her cosmetic use. I explained to her that it takes just as much in terms of barrels of oil to produce her fancy cosmetics as it does to create those plastic bottles for bottled water. Her reply, "Well all I care about is that no animals are used for testing, and if it takes more oil to do that then...
then I guess I am making it up by driving a Prius."

I have been doing more than asking questions and concentrating the awareness on the real issues. I did try to trade-in that ecological disaster of a ride I own - but not a single dealership would take it as trade citing some new EPA restrictions regarding pre-1980 vehicles. It was a shame to, because as I was leaving it broke down. It took 6 hours for the tow company to show up. The reason? "Sorry, ran out of fuel cell juice." So, a tow truck driver has fuel cells for power and yet not a single marine application there-of.

Finally, get it towed - borrow a friends Corrola, and go get groceries. Sign on the door stating: "Effective immediately: Plastic and paper bags are no longer provided free of charge. .50 cent per bag penalty which will go to the City of Global Disproportions."

I high tale it home, grab an old sea duffel bag. You know those things - big green canvas bag you see military people toting around. I still had mine, so threw it into the front seat and back to the store. I start loading it up. I guess I could of used a cart but since I was going to have to lug it up 15 stairs as my condo management has turned off the elevators in the effort to be more green - may as well only fill it up to what capacity I felt I could lug it up.

I always start at aisle 1 and work my way around. This way I make sure that at the end of my shopping of goods that I actually need - I have no room for the fofo desserts and other high priced luxury foods. I am not even to aisle 3 when three uniformed policemen on Segways no less, come up behind me and instruct me to "Drop the bag, get on your knees with your hands behind your back".

Eventually we get to a dialogue, and I explain that no I am not stealing, just doing the recycling thing and the positive thing for the environment. They didn't seem to impressed, but had a store clerk bring me a cart. The officers pour the items in the duffle bag into the cart and instruct me to proceed to the counter.

And the clerk asks me if I want paper or plastic. I stammer and go - no just put it in the cart.

"Sorry sir, all items must be bagged and if you did not bring your own - we will have to charge you 50 cents for the paper and 75 cents for the plastic."

"But I have...", I started to stammer...

"He'll have the plastic bags", one of the officers said and then tossed three Evian water bottles, 6 Kit Kats and a copy of Esquire on top of my groceries. "And those as well."

The clerk and officers must have done this racket before, as I watched in horror as each item was placed into a separate bag. The total for the bags alone was exceeding the cost of my groceries!

They kindly escort me to my car, where I start unloading everything into the trunk of the borrowed Corolla.

"May I have my duffle bag back?", I asked.

"No, we don't want you to attempt this again. Consider it a warning. Have a great day."

And off they go - riding three Segways and one of them wearing the duffle bag loaded with 3 Evian Bottles, 6 Kit Kats,a magazine and ... 7 plastic bags.

camaraderie · #2 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Didn't run into any hemp farmers on your way home did you Jody? They say it is the coming thing in biofuels!

Do you know how many barrels of oil it take to make a couple of Twinkies?

cardiacpaul · #3 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

""Well, bottled water keeps me healthy and if I am healthy then I can be a more aggressive activist. You wouldn't want me to die tomorrow from drinking tap water would you?", she replied."

my response would have been...
"Well if thats all it'll take..."

blt2ski · #4 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Jody,

this happens ONLY in Seattle, home of the greenies that do not realize there green living is making the world less green. It has something to do with transplants thinking they were born here, and better than the natives with gills on the necks to breath!

Anyway, as long as the moss is green on the north side of trees, things will be fine here in little ol Seattle, the town with a song, "bluest skies you'll ever see are in Seattle!" its true says this 3rd generation seattleite!

marty

CharlieCobra · #5 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Jody, as funny as that post was, it reeks of truth. How unfortunate is that?

artbyjody · #6 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by CharlieCobra

Jody, as funny as that post was, it reeks of truth. How unfortunate is that?

Thats probably the funny aspect! What a world our kids will live in one day!

PBzeer · #7 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Actually, the problem with the world is, there are too many people spending too much time, trying to fix, what ain't broke.

Cruisingdad · #8 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

Ah, Borther, just move to Texas. Bring the 4X4, gun rack, and buy a pair of truck nutz. Round here, you are expected to bring in the camo bag and two seperate conceled weapons.

Women are absolutely beautiful (most beautiful, sincere, and transparent on earth), and have no problem kicking you butt in public with (or sometimes without) just cause. We still spank our kids, fly an American flag out front, close down the schools for CHRISTMAS holidays, and take off for Deer and Dove season. Football and baseball is a way of life. Heineken has NOT replaced Miller Light. We say sir, thank you, and open the doors for our women. And get in a jam, you have people taking off their shirts to help.

Some of the cities have gotten a bit off kelter, I must admit. It is a lot of extraterrestial influence, I am sure. But out here in the country, we live (and die) like that. You think I am kidding? I am not. I am very, very, very dead serious. This is not a joke. Don't beleive me, come on out. Just a quick drive through (or ask anyone here) - they'll tell you I am not lying.

They say Texas is a different State than the rest of the country. I say we are a different country than the rest of the country. North Carolina makes a great, close second though. And again, I am not kidding. That is what it is like out here. And I love it.

Leave the plastic bags and learn to rope. Get under 8 on the bull, and I guarantee you that you will be beating the Cowgirls off. And oh yeah, there is NO crying in rodeo.

HEHE!

- CD

johnshasteen · #9 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

[quote=Cruisingdad;311445]Ah, Brother, just move to Texas.

Well said - where in Texas are you? Also, in Texas, you can leave your boat in the water year-around - and winter is the best sailing time down here. Down here if the Coast Guard boards your boat, the first thing they ask is if you have any weapons on board - if you answer no, they will issue you a citation.

Cruisingdad · #10 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008

[QUOTE=johnshasteen;311453]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruisingdad

Ah, Brother, just move to Texas.

Well said - where in Texas are you? Also, in Texas, you can leave your boat in the water year-around - and winter is the best sailing time down here. Down here if the Coast Guard boards your boat, the first thing they ask is if you have any weapons on board - if you answer no, they will issue you a citation.

Keep the boat at Texoma but live out in East Texas. A little town in east Texas. 2 hours and 15 mins from the boat!!!!

- CD