A little Introspection

[knothead]

Why do I do this? What is it that I am hoping to gain?

The last couple days I have been wondering why I spend so much time on this forum. Is it because I feel that I have so much wisdom to share? No I’m not self deluded enough to believe that for a second.

Is it because I enjoy reading the different views and thoughts of all the contributors, and learn so much from all the experience and knowledge assembled here? Certainly, those are major reasons.

It may even have something to do with wanting to feel like I’m a part of a community. Or that I’m one of the gang.

Is it because I like to hear what others think about what I have to say. That’s probably a big part of it.
I suppose it’s a narcissistic streak.

But when I was reading the thread about the passing of Robert Gainer, (Tartan34C), recently, I was struck by the obvious respect and that this man earned. The comments, without exception, echoed a true affection for him.

It got me thinking…what do these people think of me?

Please, please don’t answer that question for me. For one thing, I probably couldn’t handle it and for another that is not the point of this post.

I guess my point is this. Socially I am a Neanderthal, I am uncomfortable at parties and usually end up standing around looking lost.
Or I am the guy who makes completely inappropriate comments at completely inappropriate times. Unfortunately, even though the words sound perfectly reasonable inside my head they often, fall flat.
I suppose that is why the anonymity of this medium appeals to me. But I am now beginning to see that this unfortunate personality trait translates to the online world as well.

I recently told another member to “Bite Me” just because he didn’t read my post and didn’t realize we were in agreement on the issue at hand.

I recently made a silly comment about “Women Drivers” and then followed it up shortly thereafter with a demeaning reference to the female anatomy that was entirely out of place.

Just today I tried to make joke about an issue that is clearly very important to another member and in the process more than likely only succeeded in alienating her.

So, I am starting to realize that in my clumsy attempts to fit in, I am probably accomplishing just the opposite of what I am trying to.

Therefore, I sincerely apologize about those instances I listed above as well as to anyone else who I have offended or disparaged, however unintentionally.

I resolve to give a lot more thought to what I write before I click the “Submit Post” button from now on and for the most part to leave the humor, (which I enjoy immensely, so please keep it up), to those who are much better at it than I.

In my personal life, my reputation has always been a lot more important to me than being liked or being accepted with the “in crowd”. Somewhere along the line, I seemed to have forgotten that.

Sorry bout that.

[JohnRPollard]

Knothead,

I've enjoyed many of your posts (can't say I've read them all -- not enough bandwidth in my brain to keep up with everybody). We all trip up from time to time, especially without the inflection of voice where it's often hard to convey that we intend comments humourously -- it's one of the perils of the internet, e-mail, etc.

The little "emoticons" can help. I didn't know what they were for the longest time, nor how to use them. But adding a laughing face icon to humourous comments will often ensure folks understand your mirthful intent.

[PBzeer]

What? You're supposed to be perfect? The effort to do right is what truely counts, not that the road to hell isn't paved with some good intentions, but it's what inside you that is most important. And one of the good things about the internet is, you DO have time to think about what you're saying. I'm sure we all forget that at times, I know I do, but accepting responsibility for your actions, as you did above, and trying to better is definitely a plus in my book.

[camaraderie]

Knotty...you sure you didn't mean to post this on the AFOC thread?
Good post, but don't be too hard on yourself. I, for one, appreciate the knowledge you bring to the forum AND your spirit of camaraderie.

[TomandKarens34]

Oh geezum Knothead don't sweat the details. If it makes any difference, I got your jokes. You're one of the crew here. Just because you catch a little flack from time to time, means very little. There are lots of reasons people post, and reasons people read those posts. Bottom line, this isn't real life. It's a forum. Quite a nice one really. But you'll never please 'em all. So don't worry about it.

[teshannon]

Every one of us has been there and done that so don't fret too much over it.

[tdw]

Hey Knotty,

I just had a look at some of your posts and two things struck me. One you disagreed with something I said and two you like baseball.

Now I was going to say something nice about you but with those two strikes against you it's obvious you are a complete knobhead.

On the other hand I also saw your joke about the women's movement and laughed my arse off, so if you are a knobhead then so am I. (That was supposed to make you feel better but then again.........)

Next time you are invited to a party, check out the opposing dark corner, that will be me over there and if the corner is empty........well at least YOU got invited to the party in the first place.

Seriously,

Good Post Knotty old chap.

Personally I don't doubt for a moment that many of us who have become forum freaks (usenet junkies I think was the old message board term) did so because in many ways we are/were socially inept.

In my case, putting my ideas onto keyboard helped me enormously to overcome that ineptitude, at least to a certain degree. I am not so much the anti social S.O.B. I once was and I do have to thank this kind of interaction for being at least partially responsible.

Also, MsWombat, playing pool and cryptic crosswords of all things but then life's journey does have some interesting twists and turns in it.

[denby]

Knothead,

I haven't read all your post but the ones that I have read show me that you are very knowledgeable about rigging and are very willing to help and go out of your way for a fellow sailor. You help me with the topping lift and gave me some very good ideas. Some of your joking is quite good, if someone has a problem with it don't sweat it, you will never please everyone any way.

I hope a follow up joke I made about your name knothead on the women driver post wasn't taken the wrong way. It was meant to mean your wife hitting you in the head with a frying pan after you made that comment.

The problem is we are not meeting face to face and it is sometimes hard to figure intent of ones comments. All I can tell you is keep up the good work and don't fret the small stuff, we all have offended someone on this site at some time. If everyone would keep the attitude that the post are only jokes and no harm was meant or the post is meant to help then I think we will all get along better.

[cardiacpaul]

Knotty,

"Or I am the guy who makes completely inappropriate comments at completely inappropriate times. Unfortunately, even though the words sound perfectly reasonable inside my head they often, fall flat."

lololol, jeez, I thought i was the only one that does that.

My social graces aren't all that bad Thecuban has been known to let me eat with her at a restaurant. Well, screw 'em. I've lived a long hard life, and its part of my charm, its part of your charm, too.

I do my level best to embarrass our stepdaughter in front of her friends, I seem to be able to do that just by standing. Or breathing. But, they love me in spite of my self. Thats all we all can ever hope for, eh?

[TrueBlue]

Knothead,

Based upon my wife's point of view, I've often been accused of being narcissistic . . . especially at social functions and during my business meetings. This condition has not quite developed to a point where I envision myself as the "Great White", perched upon the proverbial marble pedestal, peering down upon the pee-ons. But, I can be full of myself at times. This personality fault will be my nemesis.

This forum however, allows me to share whatever knowledge I may have with boats and life in general, but even if I come off as an asswhole with others - (probably more often than I realize), there's at least some level of anonymity, so there's really no true embarrassment - since my face is hidden behind my screen persona.

That may be the source of my addiction - but Freud may have had a different angle.