Chuckled Out

chucklesR · #1 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Dear Readers,
Tomorrow morning I've been consigned to 12 hours of airport and airplane travel to get to the land of the famous Portugrease sailor Alex, skipper of the boat Guiletta (not to be confused with his wife of the same name, who I am sure is the actual skipper). I'm also willing to bet that Fred and Ledhead do most of the sailing while Alex stands about and shoots video's.

I have practiced for the trip by setting up a see-saw and standing for hours at a 45 degree angle on the greasy plank while a hurricane fan blew gale force wind in my face and a friend threw buckets of water laced with sardines and herrings at me. Mind you dear reader I've never actually said heeling scares me, I just prefer my drink remains where I put it.

I've been promised it's a two day tour, but am reminded of another episode in which a two hour tour got extended. I'm bringing my own Mary (ann) just in case and I've packed my coconut radio and extra Hawaiian shirts so I should be okay when we get lost somewhere off the island of Atlantis. I've also got a place mat from a local diner that I'm bringing in case I need to navigate my way home, if I can avoid the sea monster in the lower left corner.

If I do not return I'm probably feeding fish somewhere off the cliffs of Sagres, or at a minimum unwilling to face the inevitable photo shopping of yours truly. There is a slight chance that if the beaches are indeed 'European' I might not come back at all. This trip is a replacement vacation for an originally scheduled trip to Cancun - I'm giving up thongs and less for a two day roller coaster ride and wondering what the hell got into my head.

In all honesty I'm looking forward to learning the ropes on a new boat, my catamaran does not have a p rope so I've not been able to learn how to piss up a rope. Sure hope Alex has it rigged correctly, I understand it needs to be on the windward side because the smoke and lounge area is to leeward.

Part of me looks forward to this enforced vacation from SailNet as there has been a lot of grief lately. No not on the forum, it seems my clients actually expect me to get work done during the day even though it's obviously the sailing season. Unreasonable bunch of slave drivers but one must earn rum money somehow. At least by going on vacation I won't have to worry about being expected to do something about the task listing at work. The internet usage log and statistics will also make it look like I'm complying with their demands to stay of SailNet for at least a few hours during the work day.

Anyway, off to find my passport and make sure my life insurance is paid up.
Ya'll have a good two weeks of quiet time, sorry someone else will have to be the class clown for a while.

sailortjk1 · #2 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Have fun Chuck, Alex is a great guy who I am sure will be a great host.
Enjoy yourself.

CLucas · #3 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Have a great time -- just keep it clean and for pete's sake don't offend anybody

jrd22 · #4 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Chuckles- have a great time, and remember, when the boat heels over more than 5 degrees for the first time you don't need to abandon ship!

John

merlin2375 · #5 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Enjoy, we'll be waiting for pictures

teshannon · #6 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Have a great time, I envy you. On the other hand the photoshops when you get back is where you'll pay dearly for this trip.

TrueBlue · #7 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Hey chuck, great pre-trip report, smart and witty as usual. I do sense some trepidation between the jokes though. Don't fear, in spite of Alex's bad-boy behavior online, I think he will adjust the boat's attitude to yours.

Have a great time, keel ballasted boats will not flip . . . unless the winds REALLY kick up around the horn. (g)

sailortjk1 · #8 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueBlue

I think he will adjust the boat's attitude to yours.

He is a true gentleman and your words are indeed very true.

OK enough of the Man Love; What the hell, he is a crazy bastard and will have you on the seat of your pants for two days straight while he laughs his ass off at your asking to be dropped at the next available port of call.

chucklesR · #9 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Rest assured that the 'fear' is humor.
We owned a mono for four years before switching to a new Gemini catamaran. WE switched because it was more in line with what we wanted, safe, big roomy fun on the water at a damn good price.
Keep that in mind because I'm sure the photo's and video's of me screaming while clinging to a) my wife or b) a winch will be photo shops or completely out of context, I swear.

CharlieCobra · #10 (**permalink**) 06-06-2008

Have a good time over there. Tell Alex, Giulietta, Fred and Luis hi for me.