A Letter to the Government

[chris_gee]

Not mine but worth passing on.

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that
I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet,
the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what
date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's
licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid
customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off
the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms
that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also, would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely
****** astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop
dead!!!...

*****

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really p*ssed off this morning. Between
you an' me, I've had enough of all this ****! You send the application
to my house, then you ask me for my **** address!! What the hell is
going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal
***** workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New
Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi
girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether
I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to
do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell
not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city,
and get another **** copy of my birth certificate, and to part with
another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to
assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd
be too **** easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer
to have us running all over the place like chickens with our **** heads
cut off, and then having to find some high society w*nker to confirm that
it's really me in the ******* photo! You know the
photo.. the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you **** morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

PS Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in
high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this
country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms
with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also
served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to
Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a
personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter
Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to
verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND
RAISED IN **** PAKISTAN !!!......a country where they either
assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the
Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'

You are all **** idiots

[sailaway21]

Sort of like Immigration not being able to talk with the Social Security Administration here in an effort to find out how many people might be using the same SS number?

On the bright side, it's rumoured that the IRS computers on the fifth floor still cannot talk with the computers on the first floor. Just a look on the bright side!

[denby]

Oh good, another happy tax payer.

[PBzeer]

Does the term, job security, come to mind?

[sailingdog]

Chris-

It ain't all that different on this side of the damn pond. Different country, same stupid bureaucrats.