World's best televangelist...

sailhog · #1 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

This isn't a joke. This morning on the INSP Network, which features televagelists day-in and day-out, had this "pastor" on who is currently trying to get people to send in checks for $58. Anyway, he claims that if you send him $58, you will see a return of 1,000-fold -- or $58,000. And according to him, it actually works. I'm paraphrasing here:

"I believe in proportional sowing... I recently learned of a lady who received a debt-free house after she sent in a check for $58. She went to buy a house from a woman who was going to give the money from the house to her nine children when she passed away... When the buyer went to sign the note, the seller said an amazing thing. She said, 'In case I die, I want you to have this house instead of my nine children. You will not owe me or my family anything.' Well, two weeks later, this woman has a heart attack and dies, so the house was went to the buyer instead of the sellers nine children. An appraiser then came to appraise the house, and do you know how much he said the house was worth? $58,000. That's how much."

Incredibly, the parishoners on the broadcast began clapping when they heard the story about the crazy old lady who died of a heart attack and gave her home away to a stranger instead of her children. I'm am getting out my checkbook right now...

Giulietta · #2 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

America, land of fast food, fast cars and fast....religion...

Please send me a check for $10..in return you will get a signed photo of me..legit signature, not that fake stamped stuff SD is selling around...

ckgreenman · #3 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

So where is this evangelist based out of? Nigeria?

badsanta · #4 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

I beleve in God, it's his fan club I have trouble with.

sailhog · #5 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

The reaction from the parishoners was priceless: They began CLAPPING at the news of the little old lady having a heart attack.

ckgreenman · #6 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

That's pretty disturbing. Personally, I'm with badsanta. I have issues with God's fan club too.

Giulietta · #7 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

Where I come from, we don't have any of that stuff...telepriests...

We have one religion, Catholic Apostholic Roman (the church of the Pope, from the Vatican)..that's it.. 95% belong to it...(there is a Brasilian church were the people have to pay 10% of their salary to go there, but that we don't consider a catholic religion and the church is fighting them..the goverment too, because they don't pay taxes on the revenues..so they are getting sued)...

Church is Saturday at 7 pm and a repeat Sundays at 11 am..

There is a mass everyday but a small one.

A Channel broadcsts the Sunday mass on Sundays, live from a big Church in Lisbon...THAT's IT..

you don't pay the priests, they don't ask for money (well in mass part of the ritual, they pass these baskets and people leve their change if they need, but it goes to the parish, not the church)..no one is asked anything, and above all it is not a business...we consider that ugly, to male money of religion..but we are what we are...

religion is free for all...and there are no fan clubs...none...

cardiacpaul · #8 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

"Church is Saturday at 7 pm and a repeat Sundays at 11 am.."

Overheard...
"Dear God, please forgive me for the sins I intend to commit tonight...If its not to much trouble, please make her blonde, and have a hot sister...Amen."

sailhog · #9 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Giulietta

Where I come from, we don't have any of that stuff...telepriests...

We have one religion, Catholic Apostholic Roman (the church of the Pope, from the Vatican)..that's it.. 95% belong to it...(there is a Brasilian church were the people have to pay 10% of their salary to go there, but that we don't consider a catholic religion and the church is fighting them..the goverment too, because they don't pay taxes on the revenues..so they are getting sued)...

Church is Saturday at 7 pm and a repeat Sundays at 11 am..

There is a mass everyday but a small one.

A Channel broadcsts the Sunday mass on Sundays, live from a big Church in Lisbon...THAT's IT..

you don't pay the priests, they don't ask for money (well in mass part of the ritual, they pass these baskets and people leve their change if they need, but it goes to the parish, not the church)..no one is asked anything, and above all it is not a business...we consider that ugly, to male money of religion..but we are what we are...

religion is free for all...and there are no fan clubs...none...

The "television ministers" can be found here:
INSP - The Inspiration Network

Alex,
Sit down, get out that pen, and write ol' Sailhog a check for $58. In a few days, a little old lady will die and gift you her estate. You just need to BELIEVE.

ckgreenman · #10 (**permalink**) 10-06-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by cardiacpaul

"Church is Saturday at 7 pm and a repeat Sundays at 11 am.."

Overheard...
"Dear God, please forgive me for the sins I intend to commit tonight...If its not to much trouble, please make her blonde, and have a hot sister...Amen."

Obviously the Saturday evening prayer