It has been brought to my attention that in a major technological breakthrough an Australian company is about to produce toilet paper made out of Wombat Droppings.
Now yes, I have to say, the idea of some degenerate chasing around the Australian bush collecting Wombat Dung is somewhat unsettling.
Even worse , contemplate the image of battery Wombats bred only to be force fed for their Number Twos. A worrying image, I'm sure you will agree.
Ha, the journo says we s**t bricks !!! Rub a sheet of that on your haemorrhoids and see how you feel.....we eat the odd thistle as well, don't you know ? Our three ply is more than that plain laminated crap !!
BUT
There is far more sinister stuff at work here than a handful of fuzzy pellets, I can tell you.
Look carefully at the linked story .......note the oh so cute chappy to the left.......look carefully.......yep....ABDUL.......ABDUL .......sent shivers down my spine I can tell you.
What dinky dye Aussie, lover of all that this country holds dear (nooo pooftahs !) is gunna name his fuzzy friend Abdul ? ....what dinkum Marsupial Mama christens her offspring anything other than Bruce, or Sheila, maybe Trevor, perhaps Doreen...after all....
but an Abdul ? I don't think so.
Anyway, stay tuned.....next week we will have a report on Koala Krap Toothpaste !!
(commendation to star reporter Capt Scott o' the BillyRuffin for doing the ground work for this story)
ps - Holden.....Australian for Chevvy.......
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Julius Henry Marx.
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