I wrote a short account of my mis-adventure last week, got a few laughs. My stupidity is kinda funny:
Going Solo
(Or as my wife calls it: ClusterF**k to Devils Creek 2010)
I enjoy solitude every now and then. I like to solo sail and much like motorcycling, solo sailing can be very relaxing and rewarding. I really enjoyed my solo bike ride to Indy and back last year. But solo off-roading is just a little more ....... I guess, edgy. To begin with, very few people are foolish enough to ever ride off-road. It takes a special type of fool to ride off-road alone. Yesterday (Monday 1/25) I achieved the height of foolishness and survived, physically, in one piece. My mental condition may have been damaged.
Several of us have been laying out our annual Devil’s Creek Dual Sport ride up in the Richloam section of the Withlacoochee State Forest. We’ve put this ride on for so many years, Swampy (club president) puts different sections together to map out about two days of dual sporting, including about 60 to 70 miles or pure off-road, rough and rutted out jeep trails each day. A few weeks before the event (we wait until hunting season is over) we do a pre-ride to verify the trails are still open and usable. This year with all the rain we’ve been behind schedule and having to change many portions of the route because many of the roads are too flooded. Saturday and Sunday I rode with a few other people and we got a lot done, but not all that needed to get done. No one could come with me so I decided to do the last portion alone on Monday.
Monday was beautiful. I parked on South Grade Rd, right off SR-471, and started hanging ribbons along the route. I marked everything on the east side of 471 and started on the new portion just west of 471. We had to piece in a whole new route and I needed to get proper mileage and hang ribbons. We had just gone over these roads Saturday ...... piece of cake. There were large puddles (lakes?) but I marked an easy path around each one. About .8 of a mile down a jeep trail I came on a little water, there was an easy way around, but the water looked so easy I just went in slow. Mistake 1; don’t take any chances when riding alone. I could have gone around and been down the trail hanging ribbons. Instead I spent an hour digging my bike out. At one point I gave up and started walking out, but I found a great log a few puddles down, looked like a good lever. So I carried it back to the bike and levered the bike out of the mud. It wouldn’t start but it was out. I hid it in the woods, gathered my things and called a friend who lives up there. I walked out to the main road and he picked me up and gave me a ride to my truck.
I had been on my knees in 2' of water, digging muck away from the rear wheel with my knife for an hour; I was dirty. When I took off my riding cloths I discovered I had fresh undies but no shorts. Hey, I’ve got a big towel, I’ll just be driving home in my truck, no big deal. So, I pull out onto 471, start to head home and I’m thinking ..... if I could get the truck close to the bike, I could push the bike out and get it home. Mistake 2: Don’t take a two wheel drive truck on jeep trails in Richloam.
I actually got the truck within about 3/4 of a mile of the bike, the trail was too rough from this point. So I started out for my bike wearing undies, boat shoes with no socks and a big towel. I also took my GPS and cell phone. Soon I discover that when I walk around the big holes the plants are scratching my legs ...... duh. Mistake 3: Dress properly when walking in the woods. Now I’m bleeding from some fresh scratches; both legs look like I’ve been attacked.
I get to the bike and get ready to push it back to the truck. It’s still light but fading fast and I’d like to be back to the truck by dark. Well, when I’m pushing the bike back I discover the best way through the water holes is with the bike right down the crown of the road, where it’s shallow, with me walking in the deep water next to the bike. Mistake 4: Don’t wear a towel while wading through water. Right in the middle of a large water hole my towel touches the water, gets heavy fast and now it’s sinking behind me as I continue to push the bike out of the water (can’t stop in the middle of a water hole.) So, I go back and get my soaked, large towel, wring it out and drape in over the seat and continue pushing the bike in undies (black “squeezers” no less) and a t-shirt. At this point I’m thinking of that Simpson’s episode where Homer says: “Ya know Marge, I’m just not that bright.” Oh yeah, I’m a little worried about what was in that swamp water I was wading through with my fresh wounds?
I made it! That truck never looked so good. Loaded the bike, dried myself with shop rags and got ready to drive out. That’s when I discovered I couldn’t see to back out as it was dark by now. I had to turn the truck around. I found, what looked like a good spot, and went for it. The truck backed in okay but when I went to pull forward the right rear wheel went into a hole and the truck was sitting on it’s frame ..... cross ways on the trail. At this point I thought about that scene in National Lampoon Vacation ...... where they’ve just wrecked the family truckster in the desert, and the two Indians look at each other and say: “What an A**hole.”
Now I’m back on the phone to my friend again, does he know anyone who could help? He knew just the right guy; Wendell. Wendell came out with a friend and a 4-WD ford pick-up. He’s a tree guy and has lots of equipment. I put my motocross pants back on before they got there! Anyway, they yanked me out in no time and enjoyed doing it for very reasonable compensation! I made it home, in one piece and with the bike and I have a new appreciation for red-necks.
All of this was preventable, a little less ego and a lot more caution and my day would have ended as fun as it started. Solo? Yes, I’ll do it again; special kind of fool.
DB
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