And then the Fight Started..

[Harborless]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....






My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...




I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....





When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.







My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...




My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......




My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........





I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.


Just some Thursday Humor! Love the dust on TV and phone a friend line! Classic

[BentSailor]

hehe - they were all new to me. A good start to the end of the work week

[MARC2012]

Had read some but not the last,coffee on scran..marc

[merc2dogs]

Originally Posted by Harborless

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

One day, after a dinner, my wife and her sister were were doing dishes. I came in with another load of leftovers for the fridge, and commented (innocently with no malice intended, but stupidly, without thinking!) that they both looked the same from behind.
I quickly learned what they thought of each others posteriors when they both turned in unison and shouted 'I do NOT!'

No fight, but did hear it for several days after from both the wife and her sister's boyfriend.

Good thing is she did start getting more active, going for bike rides and such afterwards

[CalebD]

Three women are changing in the locker room at an exclusive Beverly Hills tennis and swimming club. A naked man comes running through the locker room with a towel covering his head and face.
The first woman says: "That better not be my husband!"
The second woman says: "That was not your husband."
The third woman says: "That guy is not even a member of the club!"

[ssneade]

all these are funnies, but we have a "jokes of the day" thread. shouldn't they be posted there?........

[w1651]

I got home the one day when I was married and the wife was outside looking at the back yard. When I came through our back gate I asked what she was doing and she said she was looking at where a pool could go. She then asked me what I thought about adding a pool to the back yard.
I walked over to a shovel at the corner of the house and back to her and said here, make it as big and deep as you want.
True Story.

I was in the living room watching a foot ball game and the wife was getting frustrated with something. I know because as a guy and husband you just know so I asked what's wrong. The wife said we need a dishwasher. To which I responded Why? I have one.
Then the fight started. Another true story.

[tdw]

Originally Posted by ssneade

all these are funnies, but we have a "jokes of the day" thread. shouldn't they be posted there?........

Now now SSneade, stop tyring to pick a fight ..

Yes there is a generic joke thread but why not one dedicated to when the shooting started ?

[bwalker42]

Originally Posted by ssneade

all these are funnies, but we have a "jokes of the day" thread. shouldn't they be posted there?........

Sneady, Sneady, Sneady.....
Seems to me this has enough in it to stand on it's own. Also seems to me there are a lotta fights in a good portion of the threads in these waters...