Hi John, welcome to Sailnet, hopefully you'll hang around beyond this thread!
First, $365 is not a lot of money to spend at a boat dealership, or a boat yard either.
From a quick check of a few Tohatsu outlets, the dealer is being truthful about the warranty issue:
NO SHIPPING ON REMOTE MODELS
Tohatsu does not permit the shipment of any remote model engine
As for charging you for the cables, this is appartently the standard from Tohatsu:
NOTE: Kits do not include the (2) 33C universal control cables for throttle and shift (these should be purchased locally based on length required).
This only makes sense, as the length of cable needed will of course vary widely from one model boat to another. The cables can't be extended, and there's also not a lot you can do with cables that are longer than needed.
While some say you don't need the 9.8, electric start, I'm sure you made an excellent choice there. Hell, on some sailboats, where an OB is squeezed into a well, the Tohatsu power tilt might make sense, too.
Pay the money and enjoy!