Democrats versus Republicans

[cardiacpaul]

As far as it being the gov'ts fault that those fine fellas were allowed to hijack a couple of civvie aircraft... I kinda agree... I mean really, how many of those ILLEGAL ALIENS were here beyond the limit of the visas? How come they weren't rounded up when they were found to have not been in school as they said they were, when they hadn't reported the change in their addresses like they were supposed to, or when they had no visable means of support? (like they're supposed to)... Oh, yea, I remember... they were just "undocumented workers" right?

[T34C]

I found a way to get rid of at least 1 terrorist.

[sailaway21]

34,
Are those ear muffs?

[T34C]

I think it is a gas mask. (Even she can't stand the smell of the Sh%# she is spewing out.)

[cardiacpaul]

Liberals, Conservatives & Southerners

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! rackety-click...(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"

Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

[cockeyedbob]

Oh! Ouch! Ya got me!

CP, best one yet! Muy bueno!

[hellosailor]

Dang it, CPaul. Eighteen rounds? Of Silvertips?

Isn't that one hell of a waste of money?

[PBzeer]

Actually hello, that's what would be called a DEFINITIVE answer.

[hellosailor]

John, if it takes 18 rounds to make your point...YOu know what they would have said on the Wisconsin?

Y'all just need a bigger gun.

[mathislaw1]

Republican: Someone who believes you have the right to keep the money you earn, but wants to tell you where, when, how often and with whom you can screw.

Democrat: Someone who lets you screw whom you wish, but wants to take the money you earn and give it to those who are too lazy or too stupid to take care of themselves.

Libertarian: Keep your money, and screw whom you wish.