05-10-2007
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Owner, Green Bay Packers
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SW Michigan
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While the sailing population of Kansas can only be described as limited, despite rather strong winds, the competition for ass full of crap engendered by recent events there is intense.
The governor, after prudently waiting for two days to even visit the tornado site, announced that the National Guard's ability to respond was limited by the commitment of equipment to Iraq. This came as news to the officers of the Guard in state, and in adjoining states, who apparently were awaiting a call from her as to which of the 350 HMMVs in the general area she needed deployed. Her concern was triggered by the fact that the town of 1500 had sustained severe damage to it's fleet of trucks. That concern was apparently mitigated by the revelation that said fleet consisted of an ancient snow plow truck, with low mileage, and the five yard brush pick up truck. The local Kansans responding to their neighbors plight, as Kansans are renowned for doing, were thwarted from driving their various tractors and other heavy equipment into town by the large presence of FEMA personnel who had shut the gates to the city for sensible safety reasons.
None of the above prevented Barack Obama from pronouncing the death of ten thousand Kansans, out of a hamlet populous 1500, as being a major electoral college disaster and blame for such could only be laid squarely at the feet of an incompetent commander in chief renowned for his slashing of the national weather service budget. In later reports, Obama, claiming severe exhaustion as a result of repeated hyperventilation was reported to be entering a Liberian spa for cosmetic surgery. Reports that this was a result of Al Sharpton's allegation that Don Imus was blacker than Obama could not be verified.
Apparently the death of twelve Kansans, and the devastation of virtually all the homes in town, was not enough for these two luminaries to abandon their faith in the ability of the American president to control the weather. No doubt the catastrophe was a mis-guided attempt at localized global warming. Appalachan marinas, above a certain elevation, experienced a run up in demand for slips and moorings based upon the quite plausible fear that Mother Nature really is GW Bush's bitch. The Roveian crisis continues...
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“Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it.”
Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.
Last edited by sailaway21; 05-10-2007 at 02:41 AM.
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