What's your biggest bonehead move sailing? - Page 11

svindigo · #**101** (**permalink**) 09-24-2007

We were getting ready to anchor. We had furled the genoa and had dropped the main but left the lazy jacks up. As we were motoring into a very tight anchorage the engine quit. (Did I mention it was blowing 25+?) Anyway we tried to immediately get some sail up but it got caught in lazy jacks. We eventually got the sail up and sailed out of danger but it was a nerveracking few minutes. Lesson learned: After stowing the main, always secure the lazyjacks. The sails must be ready to deploy with no impediments at a moment's notice.

CapnHand · #**102** (**permalink**) 09-24-2007

I'm racing on GaryM's boat, we're putting up the spinnaker. He says "Release the jib halyard". Instead, I release the main halyard.

Now he only asks me out for pleasure sailing.

Sabreman · #**103** (**permalink**) 09-24-2007

Ok, here's another.....

When I was in college, I used to boom fly. You know, rig a bo'sun chair on the end of block and tackle and hang from the end of the boom. Get in and splash through the water as you sail (never while under power). It's fun when it works right.

Fast forward 25 years; I'm showing off for my wife and daughter. I rig the seat, use a preventer for the block & tackle, and skip the step that says "Get in the chair while it's suspended over the cockpit. I slip out of the chair, catch the end of the jib sheet while falling, hit the water, and lose my swim trunks in the boat's 4 kt wake. To the trunks from going past my ankles, I spread my legs as wide as they will go and take a mouth full of water. At this point I notice that the end of the sheet is wrapped around my neck and flick it off with my one free hand. At this point, I'm screaming for my wife to round up and stop the boat..... but she and my daughter are too busy laughing (I won't even imply why).... kept the shorts though......

Lessons Learned: Too many

Sabreman · #**104** (**permalink**) 09-25-2007

Now for my best one......

A couple of years ago, I was at sea working on the USS Pinckney (DDG 91). It was 2330 and I was ready to turn in. I went aft to check on some of the other contractors and while I was back there decided that I had to use the head. On U.S. Navy Aegis destroyers, the male berthing areas are usually odd numbers (e.g., "Berthing Area 1") and the female areas are even numbered and usually labeled "Female Berthing Area" too. I vaguely remembered from another ship that Berthing Area 5 was one or two decks below me. so down the ladder I went in search of the head. Sure enough, there was Berthing 5 and in I went. I found the head in the dimly lit area and proceeded to "relax". A short time later, I heard the door open and someone enter. A moment later, someone else came in and began to speak with the first one.

You know that moment of disbelief you feel immediately after an auto accident? That's what I felt when I realized that the voices were female. So here I am in a female head, that I entered after transiting a female berthing area, at night, and there are women in there with me. My blood pressure spikes, I'm looking at the overhead and bulkheads for an escape route, and one of the females says "Did you see a guy pass through? One of the civilians" The other one say no, and the first says "Poor guy, must have been lost." and leaves. At this point, I'm praying for the ship to sink, or at least for the woman to get out and NOT to be like my wife and take an hour to get ready for bed, or worse - take a shower. I have a mortgage and am way too young to retire.

I figure that my only option is to make a run for it, so I put one hand on the stall's door latch and the other on the vacuum flusher. I hit the button - "WOOOOSH!!", and out I go. I fly for the door to the head and then for the door to the passageway. I run up the ladder and fly down the mess deck p'way as fast as I can. At some point, I figure that if anyone looks, they can see me since the p'way runs nearly the length of the ship, so I cut over to the other side of the ship and continue my run. I finally get to the bow and my ladder 3 decks down to the forward gyro area. I enter the combo to the cypher lock and I'm safe! At that point, I break into mad-dog-psycho laughter. When I calm down, I realize that they probably only saw the back of my head and my sneakers so I wore a hat for the rest of the underway and a different pair of shoes.

The whole next day, I was waiting for the lead civilian (an ex-Master Chief) to tap me on the shoulder. In the mess, I swore the every female was staring at me ..... and not because I'm hot (see my previous post).

I'm such a screw up..........

sailingdog · #**105** (**permalink**) 09-25-2007

ROFLMAO.....Need more Psychlorox again....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabreman

Ok, here's another.....

When I was in college, I used to boom fly. You know, rig a bo'sun chair on the end of block and tackle and hang from the end of the boom. Get in and splash through the water as you sail (never while under power). It's fun when it works right.

Fast forward 25 years; I'm showing off for my wife and daughter. I rig the seat, use a preventer for the block & tackle, and skip the step that says "Get in the chair while it's suspended over the cockpit. I slip out of the chair, catch the end of the jib sheet while falling, hit the water, and lose my swim trunks in the boat's 4 kt wake. To the trunks from going past my ankles, I spread my legs as wide as they will go and take a mouth full of water. At this point I notice that the end of the sheet is wrapped around my neck and flick it off with my one free hand. At this point, I'm screaming for my wife to round up and stop the boat..... but she and my daughter are too busy laughing (I won't even imply why).... kept the shorts though......

Lessons Learned: Too many

Sabreman · #**106** (**permalink**) 09-25-2007

The Navy really ought to standardize....

sailingdog · #**107** (**permalink**) 09-25-2007

Sabreman-

you're killing me,...

my sides hurt from laughing.

Sabreman · #**108** (**permalink**) 09-25-2007

What's sad is that it's all true..... no exaggeration.

IrishSkipper · #**109** (**permalink**) 09-26-2007

My dumbest move was yesterday when I dropped a perfectly serviceable 12v gel battery into the gap of wet stuff that opened up as I stepped ashore. What a dipstick!

chucklesR · #**110** (**permalink**) 09-26-2007

Grabbing a mooring ball in the BVI.
Had my wife doing the driving on our chartered 42 ft catamaran; my first time on the bow.
I leaned over with the boat hook firmly in hand, picked up that line on the first fish, and the rubber handgrip neatly parted from the boathook - the weight of the line did a nice job of shooting the boathook down into the water.
Would have been funny, but it was our only boathook - and we'd just raced forward to grab the last mooring ball in the field (no anchoring permitted in the area).