Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis - Page 2 - SailNet Community
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post #11 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, however, you, like most of us, have discovered that most of the world really could care less about sailing, especially if they are relatively young. My daughter loves to go on the boat, but for some reason, she always seems to be too busy. My son, who just turned 51, has a 25-foot powerboat that he loves to go out on during the weekends with his new wife, but he doesn't really wish to sail because the boat is too slow for him. He enjoys traveling at 40 MPH and sucking down $100 an hour in gasoline.

My wife, well she enjoys day trips, but spending more than the day on the boat is out of the question, especially if the weather is hot. She equates an overnighter to camping out in a tent. Hell, I have more amenities on the boat that I do at home, but that doesn't count. The bathroom is too small, the vee berth it too high, etc... You get the idea.

Once in a while, someone comes across a sailing partner of the opposite sex that absolutely loves being aboard and sailing to distant ports, sleeping in a secluded cove, and watching the world go by in slow motion - but this is indeed a very rare find. I met many of these couples on my last trip to the Florida Keys and they were very, exceptional individuals. If you find one, you better hang on as tight as you can - every single handed sailor on the planet is looking for one.

Good luck,

Gary
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post #12 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

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Originally Posted by emcentar View Post
Bwahahaha! This is so true. I thought when I got a boat I would be beating my friends off with sticks, and that I could turn some of them into deck hands. But no, I've taken maybe a handful of people out, and they have almost always been visiting me from out of town. Everyone else is always too busy.

But to answer your question....I actually bought a sailing dingy (8' Trinka) so I could go out alone and sail when I can't find anyone to sail with. My Pearson isn't rigged to single-hand, and I don't begin to know how to dock single-handed in my slip. Ideally, I'd have one big boat to be my 'house on the water' and a bigger dingy to sail by myself, but I can't afford two slips.
I'm in Deale too, and I live in NOVA.

Balony, you can singlehand. 28 feet is not big, and few boats are "set-up to singlehand." The sailors simply learn how, perhaps making a few changes. I even wrote a book (Amazon--see link below) on this around the Chesapeake. I cruise with the family, but I sail even more often alone. It's easy with a little practice.

As for docking, try running guidelines from the dolphins to the dock.

I'm paying $125/mo for an 18-foot wide slip. You just need to look around.

And BTW, the sailing season is 12 months in Deale, if you are serious about it. There are nice days in January. As for time, sometimes I go after work, sometimes I get up really early and get back by 1pm. So if you want to sail, there is always a way.

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post #13 of 53 Old 10-01-2017 Thread Starter
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

Okay, okay....I get the overwhelming advice to learn to single-hand my boat. I'll look into this. But I'm definitely getting lazy jacks or a furling main before I try this.

I can't wait for the shocked looks when it's just me at the helm, we already get enough stares for being the only two women with a boat. Wait until it's just me.

1987 Pearson 28-2, Deale MD
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

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Originally Posted by travlin-easy View Post
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, however, you, like most of us, have discovered that most of the world really could care less about sailing, especially if they are relatively young. My daughter loves to go on the boat, but for some reason, she always seems to be too busy. My son, who just turned 51, has a 25-foot powerboat that he loves to go out on during the weekends with his new wife, but he doesn't really wish to sail because the boat is too slow for him. He enjoys traveling at 40 MPH and sucking down $100 an hour in gasoline.
This has actually been the most surprising thing to me about having a sailboat - the ratio of people who love asking me about the boat to the ones that will actually take me up on an invitation to go sailing. As a conversation piece, it beats sports and politics by a mile. Everyone wants to ask me about the boat. But go out on the boat? Everyone is either seasick, or afraid of the water, uninterested, or way too busy. (Two of my friends who do have boats have motor boats, and aren't interested in doing anything that doesn't involve going 30 mph at a deafening engine volume. I don't really want to go out on their boats either.)

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post #15 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

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Originally Posted by emcentar View Post
This has actually been the most surprising thing to me about having a sailboat - the ratio of people who love asking me about the boat to the ones that will actually take me up on an invitation to go sailing. As a conversation piece, it beats sports and politics by a mile. Everyone wants to ask me about the boat. But go out on the boat? Everyone is either seasick, or afraid of the water, uninterested, or way too busy. (Two of my friends who do have boats have motor boats, and aren't interested in doing anything that doesn't involve going 30 mph at a deafening engine volume. I don't really want to go out on their boats either.)
Even just renting bareboat around our area, I am stunned at the very few people who wish to go out with me.

The invite is like this; " I am a gourmet cook, lunch and drinks will be fantastic. I will pay for the boat and the day, maybe you bring some ice? You can help sail, or just sit back, as I can single hand this boat by myself. If you cannot go today, maybe tomorrow because it's crystal clear weather, and nice strong breezes that will have have "real sailing". Lay on the deck and get some sun, sit in cockpit and listen to great music, have a beer or wine, and again, did I mention the gourmet lunch? " I mean - I even really try to SELL the idea.. gosh.

And... so very often its - " I can't tomorrow,, what about next Monday - IF ITS NICE next Monday?? or they say... Yeah, if it's cloudy, or cool, or too much wind, or too much water, or too... you get the idea.

It's amazing to me. I would do anything to get on a boat with someone.

To all you folks with boats - just let me know. I have a flexible schedule. I will sail in rain or shine. I like to sail best in small craft warnings, but can do work down below if it's light winds. I can captain or be 2nd hand. I can cook, or just bring drinks. I can hoist sails, or let you auto-furl. I get that sailing with someone SHOULD mean participating in some gas money, bring some extra towels. hell, at least bring champagne or something fun. Hell, I can come over at dock side, and help sand bright-work and stuff. I dont wanna be free labor tho - but learning while I'm helping is cool too.

I'm good for weekdays or weekends, better to schedule, but spontaneous is good too!

Brad
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post #16 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

You don't really need a furling main to make single handing easier. Running the halyard back to the cockpit can be nice tho. Not sure what your reefing system is, but I would agree that a traditional cringle and sail ties would be tough. If you have reefing lines in the cockpit, no big deal.

If your friends are not sailors/boaters, they are entirely reliant on you for their safety. If you have a lack of confidence getting on/off the dock, sailing, etc, it may show to them.

Best medicine is to get out there and sail more often. Yes, I'm very familiar with the Chessy in July. If you had all that time off, you should bring the boat to New England. July is glorious!


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post #17 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

I don't have lazy jacks and I don't have any fancy reefing system with lines back to the cockpit but what I do have is F.R.E.D. yes FRED which is a really inappropriate name for the new generation of auto pilots that are available today. Without an autopilot single handed sailing would be a daunting task in deed. When you said your boat wasn't set up for single handed sailing it didn't dawn on me that you might be referring to the lack of an autopilot. As to the docking situation that is generally a pretty steep learning curve and the only way to master it is by practicing. I know that some suggest placing markers out in open water to practice before attempting in a marina setting and I suppose that's as good of a way as any to get a feel for how your boat handles in a docking situation. I have also seen slips where permanent lines were placed in a vee formation for bow in docking. If you really want to get out on the boat more you will and if not you won't, it's really that simple.
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post #18 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

Some suggestions to make single handing easier:

1. Electro-mechanical Auto pilot (with additional 'water proof', pocket type, remote control) - allows steering control from 'any' location on the boat, ... including 'overboard'.
1a. Since you'll have an electro-AP (as per above) ..... get the optional mast head steering vane -- boat will hold close to optimum sailing angles in varying winds - hands free.
Note - OK for just about all wind directions 'higher' than a (125°) broad reach; electro-mechanical mast head vane controlled function doesn't 'do well' for DDW or deep broad reaching.
2. 'Retractable' Lazy jacks - to control the mainsail, no need to tie in 'bunts' when reefing. Example - Easy-Jaxs: Lazy Jack System - EZ-JAX ... lazy jack control lines lead to cockpit.
3. A 'super-slippery' mainsail track - virtually no friction when raising or lowering. example - https://www.tidesmarine.com/index.ph...egory&path=363
4. Most all sail controls, etc. run to the cockpit - downside is that you lose practice going forward during adverse condition
5. jib/genoa on a reefing-furler.
6. Second (spare) means to start the engine - a 'hidden' push button switch (with 'flip' cover to prevent 'accidental' starts) near the helm station, with easy accessibility for 'instant/emergency' use.
7. full tether and jacklines for use when going forward and additional adequate 'hard points' for the tether AT the helm station ... AND the near the base of the mast
8. Electric anchor windlass ... with pocket remote in addition to the typical 'foot switches' near the bow.
8a. Anchor wash down pump.
9. large drain near helm station .... so when you 'cant' leave the cockpit, you can still 'go'.
10. An 'over-the-top' leech line for mainsail .... allows adjustment of leech line tension from base of mast or from cockpit. No 'hanging overboard' when adjusting the leech line, especially on a deep reach in 'stink' weather. Arrangement should be such that leech line jam-cleats at each reefed clew position are mirrored along the luff at each reef position.
11. Triple reef added to mainsail ... for when it gets 'real gnarly', or for when you 'need' to heave-to on a 'handkerchief'.
12. Relocate all genoa/jib winches so that you don't have to 'move' from the helm position to adjust the jib sheet tension - just bend over and grind, etc.
13. Choose a 110+% jib ... less snags for when in 'stink'. Easier when tacking, as if you're 'quick', no need to grind a winch.
14. Self-tailing jib sheet winches if you don't already have them.
15. If you already fly an asymmetrical spinnaker ... a free-flying spinnaker furling system.

There's more; but, the above should cover the bulk of it.

;-)
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post #19 of 53 Old 10-01-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

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Originally Posted by MarkofSeaLife View Post
Can you take the boat out by yourself?

I have one strong rule: never wait for someone because I will never do it.

So I never ever wait for anyone.

"Hi, will you come on an all expenses paid vacation with me this weekend? Plus I will give you $10,000 just for coming."
"Yes, I'd love to but can't this weekend. Can we do it on the 26th?"

Just go by yourself ☺️��☺️��
This...so much truth here.

I moved my entire family to a new location on the west coast of fl thinking we would do more on the boat. Guess what, we used the boat so little, I have contemplating pickling the engine. 30 hours on the Yanmar in the past 2 YEARS. Admittedly, this has caused family strife and conflict.

So after our Irma repairs are done, I've resolved to either sailing myself. If I cannot handle it, then I will look to downsize.

Truth hurts.

S/V Jendai
Beneteau 343

Last edited by night0wl; 10-02-2017 at 04:09 PM.
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post #20 of 53 Old 10-02-2017
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Re: Middle Chesapeake Mid-Life Crisis

This is the eternal question; wife won't go with me, and so should I/can I get someone else to go?

Sailing single handed is fine, but I like going with another person. The thought of finding a friend who appreciates sailing and wants to go along is tempting. But people tend to be complicated.

Mid life crisis?

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