Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I - SailNet Community
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Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

Hi Folks:

My wife noticed this site and it could be an answer to a dilemma we have. I'm retired, and my wife is soon to retire. I am an experienced sailor, and my wife is not. I'm currently looking to purchase a 50' sailboat and we want to spend our time at sea, with focus on the East Coast of the US, Virgin Islands, and possibly the Med. The boats that I'm considering are Ketch rigs with deep drafts so you have some idea of what the boat may look like and how it may handle. If you have cruised much you realize that one of the greatest challenges is fatigue, hence the need for more crew than the two of us. What I would like to accomplish is find a couple of crew members, whether that is a couple or two individuals to become part of our experience. Excluding any unforeseen emergency or injury, we will be looking to be cruising for at least a couple of years so we are thinking long term. I intend to purchase the boat and afford all the expense of maintaining the boat. Each crew member will participate in expensing supplies so some expense is expected. What I would really like to do at this stage of the process is address any question one may have, and see if we have similar agendas. Look forward to hearing from anyone interested, and maybe plan on a face-to-face if all the answers make sense to us.
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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

Youll find several crew looking/wanted sites online
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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

I've been doing that sort of thing for over 5 decades, as a yacht owner, professional captain and delivery skipper and IMO you are embarking on this in exactly the wrong way.
First off, buy a boat you and your wife are comfortable sailing alone, be it 40', 50' or 80', but putting yourselves in a position where you need others to help you sail your boat is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, just making it work, living and traveling in a space not much larger than your bedroom in your dirt dwelling is hard enough, no matter how close you are, but adding strangers to the mix adds all kinds of personality mismatches that can't be reconciled on a bit of boat 50' X 15' far from land.
Even in an anchorage, you'd best have a pair of dinghies to keep things working well after the honeymoon is over.
Some do OK sharing food expenses, none do well sharing maintenance expenses. If it is your boat then those expenses are yours to pay. If you can't afford that, then pass on the whole idea until you can. I never let anyone except the boat pay for food, allowing each crew member a portion of the provisioning money for treats, but it is all boat provisions, period. Should another crew member consume a treat someone thought was exclusively theirs, is a great way to sow disharmony at sea.
A boat is not a democracy. The hippies tried that back in the '60s.
Obviously, I could go on with plenty of anecdotal stories gained through so many years at sea, but this should give you plenty to mull over for now.
PM me with specific questions.

"Any idiot can make a boat go; it takes a sailor to stop one." Spike Africa aboard the schooner Wanderer in Sausalito, Ca. 1964.
“Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” ― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

What experience does your wife have? Do you even know whether she'll freak out when the boat heels, or get seasick or vertigo at the slightest amount of wave motion? It's a huge jump to expect her to cross oceans without experience. She might say she'll like it, but I'd strongly advise her getting some experience (chartering?) before buying.

Be very careful about taking any money from passengers, unless you have a MMC that is recognized in the waters in which you sail.

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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

We sail as a couple. Have occasional friends and family join us but we sail as a couple. For passage she sets us up but doesn’t like long passages. Then take on one or two (sometimes 3) crew. Seems this is a common thing. In reality 90% + I sail the boat alone when it’s just us two. But she’s a great help anchoring or doing lines. Also if needed she can take the helm as I sort things out. Split rigs don’t sail as well, more to maintain and more spaghetti to tend to. But jig and jigger is easy to single. Have fun. It’s nice when visitors go home.

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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

Quote:
Originally Posted by capta View Post
I've been doing that sort of thing for over 5 decades, as a yacht owner, professional captain and delivery skipper and IMO you are embarking on this in exactly the wrong way.
First off, buy a boat you and your wife are comfortable sailing alone, be it 40', 50' or 80', but putting yourselves in a position where you need others to help you sail your boat is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, just making it work, living and traveling in a space not much larger than your bedroom in your dirt dwelling is hard enough, no matter how close you are, but adding strangers to the mix adds all kinds of personality mismatches that can't be reconciled on a bit of boat 50' X 15' far from land.
Even in an anchorage, you'd best have a pair of dinghies to keep things working well after the honeymoon is over.
Some do OK sharing food expenses, none do well sharing maintenance expenses. If it is your boat then those expenses are yours to pay. If you can't afford that, then pass on the whole idea until you can. I never let anyone except the boat pay for food, allowing each crew member a portion of the provisioning money for treats, but it is all boat provisions, period. Should another crew member consume a treat someone thought was exclusively theirs, is a great way to sow disharmony at sea.
A boat is not a democracy. The hippies tried that back in the '60s.
Obviously, I could go on with plenty of anecdotal stories gained through so many years at sea, but this should give you plenty to mull over for now.
PM me with specific questions.
The hippies may have had a better idea than what we have now😁😁😁😁
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Re: Looking for Couple to go Sailing with my Wife and I

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Originally Posted by chef2sail View Post
The hippies may have had a better idea than what we have now😁😁😁😁
Jerry Garcia for president in 2020. yeah

"Any idiot can make a boat go; it takes a sailor to stop one." Spike Africa aboard the schooner Wanderer in Sausalito, Ca. 1964.
“Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” ― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

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