Grandparents vs. Cruising - SailNet Community
Cruising and Sailing with Children All things sailing and kids related, from safety to life aboard.

LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 22 Old 04-05-2018 Thread Starter
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Grandparents vs. Cruising

Hi Everyone,
I am looking for some advice, mainly from those with children who have moved aboard and gone cruising. My wife and I have the skills, means, and desire to move aboard and take our son ( who will be 3) cruising. However, we both have very close families, and on my side our son is the only grandchild.

My question is how did you decide that leaving behind family, especially grandparents, was worth it to cruise with your children? Also, for those who are out there now, do you think the time and experiences shared with your children made cruising the right choice?
CWeatherly is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 22 Old 04-05-2018
MarkofSeaLife's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: London!
Posts: 6,929
Thanks: 69
Thanked 309 Times in 280 Posts
Rep Power: 10
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

Whose life is it?


Sea Life
Notes on a Circumnavigation:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

People can say they want freedom, but offer them the keys to what chains them, a map to where they want to go,
And they'll turn it down for the cell they know
MarkofSeaLife is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MarkofSeaLife For This Useful Post:
chuck5499 (03-03-2019)
post #3 of 22 Old 04-05-2018
Master Mariner
capta's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: somewhere south of civilization
Posts: 7,503
Thanks: 145
Thanked 402 Times in 390 Posts
Rep Power: 9
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

I raised a daughter from birth to 12 circumnavigating and after, operating various vessels far afield from the grandparents. My parents probably couldn't have cared less and the wife's parents made no big issue of it as far as I was aware.
However, we have met a great many commuter cruisers who say that their trips home are all about the grand kids.
Though family is of course important, I should think it a sad thing for you to give up your dreams because you feel that much responsibility to your parents.
Anyway, boat kids are great!

"Any idiot can make a boat go; it takes a sailor to stop one." Spike Africa aboard the schooner Wanderer in Sausalito, Ca. 1964.
“Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” ― Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Last edited by capta; 04-05-2018 at 06:02 PM.
capta is online now  
post #4 of 22 Old 04-05-2018 Thread Starter
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

Of course I care about our parents feelings, but that is not my main concern. I never had a close relationship with my grandparents because they frankly never made much effort. Our parents live less than an hour away and have been constantly involved in our sons life. He is also very attached to them. My wife and I cruised some before our son was born, and we both want to buy another boat and cruise with him. We will probably do so in the next year. I know everyone's situation is different, but I just wondered if there was anyone else that had this issue and how they handled it. Our lives are our own, but the choices we make also shape our sons life. We are responsible for making good decisions for his future. That is, after all, why we want to take him cruising. Thanks for the responses so far.
chall03 and elliowb like this.

Last edited by CWeatherly; 04-05-2018 at 07:06 PM. Reason: grammer
CWeatherly is offline  
post #5 of 22 Old 04-05-2018
Captain Obvious
Sal Paradise's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 2,207
Thanks: 25
Thanked 89 Times in 88 Posts
Rep Power: 8
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

I grew up on my grandparents boat. He hardly ever took it out of Jamaica bay. But he taught me to drive his Caddy when I was 12... while he smoked and looked out the window. Told me the most incredible stories about building Navy ships and WW2 stuff. They had a toy box at their house with a 200 pc set of wood blocks and when I was little my grandmother would read me the comic strips. She made the best chocolate cakes in the world. God I loved them! They were - and still in my heart are - the best people. The very best. I have a picture of grandpa and me on his boat, framed over my desk.I was probably 2. The boat was named Bali Hai because they had dreamt of going to the south pacific. They never did. Loved those people so much and I miss them to this day, and I'm 52. I don't know the answer.

Sal Paradise - Armchair Circumnavigator

Senior Researcher - Dunning Kruger

Last edited by Sal Paradise; 04-05-2018 at 07:57 PM.
Sal Paradise is offline  
post #6 of 22 Old 04-05-2018 Thread Starter
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

Sal Paradise you are right. I don't want anyone to tell us what to do. Just wondering how others made the decision to go. When we break the news to everyone I think moral support is going to be in short supply around here. I wish I had memories of my grandparents like yours, but they say you can't miss what you never had. Thanks
Sal Paradise likes this.
CWeatherly is offline  
post #7 of 22 Old 04-05-2018
Senior Member
hpeer's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Onboard
Posts: 1,440
Thanks: 16
Thanked 46 Times in 46 Posts
Rep Power: 15
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

Just one additional perspective.

I believe our children learn from observing how we behave. Not 100% but a big %.

So what example do you want to set for your child? Would you want him to forgo his dreams to keep your grandchildren close? Or would you tell him “Take off Son, follow your muse.”

Guerin lies your answer. (maybe)

33' Brewer, Murray 33, steel cutter
44' Pape, Steelmaid, cc steel cutter
hpeer is online now  
post #8 of 22 Old 04-05-2018
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Colorado
Posts: 919
Thanks: 80
Thanked 24 Times in 24 Posts
Rep Power: 5
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

Having been raised in a close family who did a lot of visiting with extended family members on both sides I think you can maintain ties without constant immersion. As my brothers and I left home some of us moved a long distance from our home, but would try to visit at least once per year. We still stay in contact by e-mail and phone so nobody becomes a stranger. I don't see why you can't live aboard and still have occasions to visit with extended family to maintain those family ties. My sister-in-law collects digital pictures from everyone during the year and creates a calendar with the important dates listed and multiple photos scattered in the appropriate places. I might see some of my nieces and nephews maybe once in five years but we are able to keep up through the pictures. If any family members have helicopter tendencies there might be complications.....
zeehag likes this.
Rocky Mountain Breeze is offline  
post #9 of 22 Old 04-06-2018
Senior Member
denverd0n's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,383
Thanks: 1
Thanked 49 Times in 48 Posts
Rep Power: 12
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

First off, I left a pretty good job to find one closer to my parents. I grew up close to my grandparents, and my wife and I both wanted our daughter to know her family. It turned out to be the right choice for us. My daughter has a great relationship with my parents, and my sister, which I don't think she would have had if we had not lived near them when she was in her -- as the commercials say -- "formative years."

On the other hand, in today's world, technology can help. Your children can communicate with your parents almost daily if they want, via e-mail, texting, Facebook, Skype, whatever. Video chatting, especially, can allow your parents to watch your children growing up even when they are thousands of miles away. And, of course, worldwide travel is easier and less expensive than it has ever been, which means that you can go to see them, or they can come to see you, on a regular basis.

So, being far away does not mean that you are as separated as you were even just a decade or so ago.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
StarwindMango likes this.
denverd0n is online now  
post #10 of 22 Old 04-06-2018
Senior Member
Faster's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Westminster, BC
Posts: 19,488
Thanks: 160
Thanked 587 Times in 558 Posts
Rep Power: 17
Re: Grandparents vs. Cruising

We're in a bit of a 'flip side' situation.

We are extremely close to our son, DIL and our (only) granddaughter. We have been actively involved in her care throughout her life (she's turning 11 in the fall) and treasure that time. Now we are retiring and have sold our condo and are moving to a relatively remote island (ferry access).

On the one hand I do feel that we are, to a degree, abandoning them, and they will surely miss the child care and other support we've offered over the past decade or more, but at the end of the day I think you have to do what makes you (and/or your spouse) happy. We are anxious to leave the city bustle and look forward to the rural quiet. Our granddaughter will soon be in her teens and likely more involved with friends and other activities anyhow, and they do have the means to visit, either by ferry or by their own boat so we expect we'll still see them monthly anyhow - and we can always hop on the boat or the ferry and go to them.

Not the same situation, but to a degree the same conundrum.. We are hoping that things will work out and we won't go into 'withdrawal'
jephotog likes this.


1984 Fast/Nicholson 345 "FastForward"

".. there is much you could do at sea with common sense.. and very little you could do without it.."
Capt G E Ericson (from "The Cruel Sea" by Nicholas Monsarrat)
Faster is offline  

Quick Reply

By choosing to post the reply above you agree to the rules you agreed to when joining Sailnet.
Click Here to view those rules.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the SailNet Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
Please note: After entering 3 characters a list of Usernames already in use will appear and the list will disappear once a valid Username is entered.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Cruising Life, by Jim Trefethen, and Cruising Financials Jim H Cruising & Liveaboard Forum 209 01-26-2019 08:48 AM
Best Cruising Sailboat Under 38 Feet: Dehler 38 - Cruising World NewsReader News Feeds 0 12-11-2013 03:00 PM
Andrew Burton reviews the Broadblue 385 for the 2007 Cruising ... - Cruising World NewsReader News Feeds 0 01-19-2007 06:15 PM
Newbie cruising family looking to hook up with cruising families in BVI hsilvermanmdjd Cruising and Sailing with Children 8 09-04-2006 03:27 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome