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post #11 of 54 Old 07-17-2016 Thread Starter
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Re: you try to help....

I'll say this... My ignore list is growing LOL Have a great night folks!

"Next best thing to not having a boat? The knowledge from having one!" Denise, Bristol PA, On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #12 of 54 Old 07-17-2016
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Re: you try to help....

My system of dealing with less than nice people is to have a glass of rum or brandy for every such exchange. Soon I'm having such a good time I start sincerely liking these people.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
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post #13 of 54 Old 07-17-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Quote:
Originally Posted by seaner97 View Post
I've always valued the range of opinions you get here, and will often read decade old threads when I've got something I'm trying to sort out. I will admit there are some I take to heart quickly and others I discount equally as quickly, but even those with suspect attitude and potentially dubious background sometimes have some nuggets. I say keep trying to help. If we all give up no good information will be out there and the next newb may never know there was a better way.
Thanks for posting that, S97. After all, we're not robots and it's nice to know not everything we type is a complete waste of time.

Denise, if it helps at all, I've started to take long breaks between log-ins. Since almost all of the newb questions here lately have been discussed before (sometimes more than once!) I've found I don't really miss anything between visits ...and folks can always PM me if, for some obscure reason, my input is specifically required.

Maybe give that a try..

-
A bad day on a boat beats a good day in the office
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post #14 of 54 Old 07-18-2016 Thread Starter
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Re: you try to help....

Oh.. don't even think my posts are anything close to what I'm feeling. I used to manage chat rooms on the old MSN and AOL.

"Next best thing to not having a boat? The knowledge from having one!" Denise, Bristol PA, On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #15 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

I've found that you can't take postings too seriously. It's even best if you can grow a thicker skin and just shrug it all off knowing that there are plenty of others that love your advice

There's also gotta be a special kind of internet hell for the trolls!
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post #16 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Denise,

More than once I've withdrawn my advice as it became clear an OP's description of events was "incomplete." For example, I think someone started saying that they had been treated unfairly by a seller, only to later reveal that they had tried to obfuscate their identity as the buyer when interacting with the seller? OP, you did what? Why am I wasting my time with.....

It's pretty hard on the internet especially when someone new pops up to figure out what their story REALLY is. On the other hand, sailing is becoming an endangered sport, so none of us want to discourage new players. So sometimes we get duped. But most people are authentic, and we cannot let those with bad intent or character discourage us. Sailing is so small, the idea that someone can get away with anonymous bad behavior is flawed. They do and will get dealt with, and life will go for most sailors who are genuinely good folks.
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post #17 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Quote:
Originally Posted by deniseO30 View Post
A newbie posts a write up and asks question indicating he needs help.
Interestingly enough a customer and friend who paid me to consult on a new cruiser/racer purchase did just that, ignored my advice, advice he actually paid me for.....

I gave him a very detailed list of items including which engines to "black list" from the search pool.

One particular engine brand I was very, very adamant that he NOT buy unless the purchase price was adjusted by the cost of a full re-power.

Guess what? He ignored that advice and bought a boat with the black listed engine.D'oh...

Long and short of it is that this coming winter I get to put a brand new Beta in his 2006 vessel because the black listed engine $hit the bed and is destroyed. Once the failure was officially diagnosed the he looked right at me and said "You told me not to buy a boat with a XXXXX engine and now look where I am." Go figure...

Parts alone, to repair the engine, exceeded the cost of a new Beta by about 20% and that did not include any labor or machine shop expenses and he would still have a crappy engine...

Sometimes when folks don't take my advice it actually benefits me...

Sadly I have far too many situations like this some of the ignored advice costing customers well in excess of 50-70K in mistakes. This most recent one will cost the owner approx 18k....Ouch!!

If there is one thing I have learned over the years is that newbies often think they can "game the system" and skirt costs, norms & realities by ignoring the advice of those who've been doing it for eons.... Unfortunately it rarely works.. My seasoned customers take my advice to heart because they recognize what can or may happen when they don't, because they have been there and done that..

With many newbies if you push too hard they think you're an a-hole so I have learned to just put it in writing and have one discussion about it with them. If they choose to ignore it it is now on them and they own it....

______
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Last edited by Maine Sail; 07-18-2016 at 08:36 AM.
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post #18 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Quote:
Originally Posted by deniseO30 View Post
A newbie posts a write up and asks question indicating he needs help.
The thing is that a whole lot of people word their posting as a question when they really have no interest in answers. They have already made up their mind what they're going to do, and the only reason they are "asking" is because they hope everyone will say, "Yeah! That's a great idea. Go for it!"

When that is not the response that they get, they get ticked off and usually end up pouting.

These kinds are usually pretty easy to spot, at least after one or two posts. That's why I often start with questions. You can often tell by the way they answer perfectly reasonable questions whether or not they are really open to hearing an answer to their original "question."

Then ignore as appropriate.
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post #19 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Denise,

Your experience is what it is on 99% of forums. I own and run another one on another subject. Its small because I don't allow lurkers. You have to post once every 21 days, and you must reply to anyone who answers your question or makes a comment directed at you.

If you fail to do this, you get one reminder from me, and after that your account gets deleted. I rarely have more than 20 discussers on the forum, but its a steady group of 20 who want information and will comment or reply, and don't ghost you or are rude.

Zarathu

P.S.: I have found your responses to me helpful and I have taken your advice with sound consideration.
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post #20 of 54 Old 07-18-2016
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Re: you try to help....

Quote:
Originally Posted by deniseO30 View Post
Yup Z we need a WTF emoticon
Here you go...



Just copy and paste from Planet Smilies.
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