To voyage or not? - Page 3 - SailNet Community
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post #21 of 36 Old 07-21-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

This is a good thread. Instead of the BS of folks talking through their butts about world cruising fantasies this thread is most of ours reality. Dealing with family obligations, finances, family and personal health issues and day to day pragmatics.
Personally struggling with how to deal with my elderly mother while I'm gone during the winter. First year out it was easy as wife was still working. Second and third year hired various support people and arranged her care to be on autopilot while we were gone. This upcoming year will be problematic as she has become difficult to care for and resistant to services. Even adding up all boat and boat related expenses and boat management/maintenance time she is more time consuming and expensive. In making future plans you must be realistic about what it will take to meet this or similar obligations. Cruising is not much fun if you take your problems with you and haven't been stand up satisfying your obligations before you leave.

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post #22 of 36 Old 07-22-2017 Thread Starter
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Re: To voyage or not?

@outbound thank you for this comment... When I decided many years ago to take off... it took enormous amount of "untangling" from my involvements where I lived and worked. I was also in a socially less encumbered situation... divorced, no children, no real property to deal with, contracts to fulfill, aging parents to take care of or girlfriend. It took almost a year to wind down my quite small architecture practice (sole practitioner)... find homes or sell all the equipment I acquired in a wood workshop (miss that now)... and dispose of my personal property... The latter was easy... charity. I gave the keys and registration to my BMW to my buddy...

Getting the boat ready was relatively easy though that too took really several years of work... mostly fitting out "systems", getting spares and tools etc... and experience.

Having done this huge step once this time the trip presents a different set of problems... Getting Shiva back to offshore ready after being a local cruising boat for a few decades... But more so dealing with the fact that I am not cutting ties but leaving obligations I have to return to.... work, custodial care of sister and so on. This voyage is really about using Shiva in the tropics rather than having her "wait" for me in wet winter storage. It's not about me sailing off for the winter... and then after 5 or 6 months sailing back. It's a huge undertaking... but there will be some sweet benefits. I am very aware of the risks and responsibilities involved.

It's not an easy calculus...

+++++

One of the motivations to take a "sabbatical" and sail off to the tropics at 44 yrs old... was the fact that my father had worked his life until he died... actually not "enjoying" a retirement he earned from a life of hard work. I too was a hard worker and believed that I wouldn't retire because I like my work.. and would be bored I suppose.

So with health I stopped working and sailed knowing I could resume work as I was still in my "prime" with an established "resume" to return to.

I have not a single regret... including blowing all my savings on that voyage... I meet plenty of people of my age who couldn't do what I did often because they were too entangled... even with the skill and the money...

Very hard to escape any rut... no matter what it is...

Last edited by SanderO; 07-22-2017 at 05:26 AM.
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post #23 of 36 Old 07-22-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

It certainly is not worth it if you have income per week to lose because for most of us 2 weeks down and 2 weeks back, 4 weeks is a lot of income. Add to that the upgrades to the boat, provisions and expenses for up to a month at sea. It has to be done for the personal satisfaction and is a fantastic thing for some with time, a nice boat like Shiva and potentially lots of money to spend.

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post #24 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

Good point about the deferred income as well. That's why we just don't believe we'll spend enough time in the Caribbean to justify bringing our own boat yet. I'm looking forward to doing Outbounds gig one day. Go down and stay down. Return June 1. Even pollen season in RI spring is worth avoiding.

I hear the OP, when they say that bareboating is out of the question. To each their own. I too would prefer my own boat, if not for the expense and wear for such limited time. That said, if I was really willing to incur that cost, I could charter a pretty cushy boat down there for it. There is something to be said for handing a boat back in and not having to worry about that inventor charger that was acting up, or the generator that was burning a bit of oil. On my own boat, that would cost be a day or more in the bilges.


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post #25 of 36 Old 07-23-2017 Thread Starter
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Re: To voyage or not?

Perhaps my economic situation and sensibility is different. I spend my money on Shiva and I don't have pangs about it... all in all spending those dollars on Shiva and on things like live performances are the best dollars I spend... eating in a restaurant is a fleeting pleasure.... I don't spend on clothes, booze, cigs and so on...

I don't have children to send to college or even support. We haven't taken a vacation to Europe or similar for years... spending our vacations on the boat.

The wear and tear on the boat is a minor consideration.... but I know ocean passages do chafe lines and sails and so on especially if you don't pay attention. It can be taxing on the standing rigging as well. But in water winter storage has some wear and tear as well I suppose and cost too. I'd rather pay to USE the boat then to STORE the boat.

I am self unemployed and can work from the boat depending on work I have.... It doesn't matter what hours I work. I can do that even underway if I had to... but I do need email to convey work.

Well yeah... who wants to spend money on things you have no intention of using like ditch bag, flares, and strobes, and EPIRBS and life rafts, and drogues.... or insurance! We spend on these because they might be needed and the wife makes us. And if we have crew we have an obligation and responsibility for their safety or their wives will be pissed off.

I want to make this voyage because I love sailing in the Caribbean... not because I love sailing TO the Caribbean. Passages can be many things... boring, stunning, thrilling, peaceful... challenging... scary... hairy... delightful... You never know... and you might get them all on the way there. I am not getting any younger and my window of opportunity is closing... Shiva has the right stuff... and wants to sail. She told me so.

Last edited by SanderO; 07-23-2017 at 08:00 AM.
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post #26 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

Sander O, Best you listen to your old gal..trust your gut to, try and silence all the other noise your hearing...


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post #27 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SanderO View Post
I am definitely leaning toward doing this... But I also have to care for my sister as her health care proxy and POA as she has dementia... and on top of that only brother is in home hospice... Leaving them would be kinda selfish... On the other hand I need to escape that TOO.
These things are hard. I took my mother in after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We cared for her in the home for over two years. The timing for us was fortunate. Our kids were 9 and 13 and were able to help with their grandmother. My older sister flew in every two or three months to take Mother for a week or two so that we could have a break or take a summer family vacation and try to have some normalcy in our lives.

I feel very fortunate that we were able to keep her out of a nursing home. I considered it an honor to be able to change the diapers of the woman who changed mine.

Now my parents are gone and we should soon have the kids to where they are fully financially independent. Now it is my time to go sailing.

Last edited by midwesterner; 07-24-2017 at 12:50 PM.
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post #28 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

I sailed my boat down on the 2012 Haha to Cabo. Up in to the Sea of Cortez and kept her in La Paz for several years while I kept working. Managed to fly down a couple times a year for a month at a time. Was what I needed to get my priorities in order and enjoy life. Finally pulled the plug and I am in Mexico full time and loving it.
Sometimes we have to force ourselves into the lifestyle we really want.
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post #29 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

Recently saw first hand how quick family obligations can interfere with a persons plans. First mate on the boat I had chartered has her dad in a nursing home and her mother living with her. We were out of communication only three days. But, in those three days her father was sent to the emergency room of a nearby hospital. Mom is developing Alzheimers and had no clue why he was there. When we finally got communications. She is now training a young girl to take her place on the charters because it seems she can't even go away a few days without something happening that requires her attention.

Mike
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post #30 of 36 Old 07-23-2017
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Re: To voyage or not?

SanderO:

Have you thought about the possibility of buying a second boat used of course in Florida and/or the Caribbean that might need some work? You could still make it your own and have Shiva available in the summers up north? Got to be lots of those Dream boats that others have abandoned because of the "Cruising Blues". If you found the same model as own you would be ahead of the game in terms of familiarity with it's systems.

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