How nervous are you? - Page 14 - SailNet Community
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post #131 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by smackdaddy View Post
The only nitpick I'd provide is in addition to "compassion" there is also "humor" which is a long-standing tradition in both sailing and on Sailnet. People should remember that ribbing each other is a good thing. Being overly serious and easily offended is never fun at friggin' parties.
Smackie, you of all people should know that humour transmits poorly over these forums. And blaming the recipient for not getting what you call a good-natured-ribbing is like farting in an elevator and then blaming people for not enjoying the smell.

Effective communication is determined by the communicator, not the recipient. Even if you are correct in characterizing Ian’s posts as attempted humour (which I don’t think they were), then he should have quickly realized he was failing as a communicator. Instead, he kept coming back, piling on with harsher and more insulting quips.

(oldlaxer1, thanks for presenting them all here)

Why go fast, when you can go slow.
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post #132 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

The OP himself registered Ian's initial "grow a pair" post as a joke (look back at his posts) - which it was.

It wasn't until the others started directly hammering on Ian that the stuff you're now quoting started turning up - starting with Contrarian calling him a "a boy", then Chef jumping in by saying he's not a real man because he's taking a 53' boat to the Keys, then br3nt with "sexless troll", etc.

Ian is responding to these jabs by these guys in your quotes above - not the OP. And like I said, I went back and looked at Ian's posts 5-pages deep and don't see anything that would warrant chop-busting like that.

Then at this point, the OP jumps on the troll wagon. And the pile-on grows.

So, that's my point. Again, I'm not defending Ian. He went a bit overboard a few times for sure. But, seriously, if a guy is getting jumped by a group why shouldn't he punch back (didn't he get the same treatment in his hurricane thread)?

I'm just saying that The Posse is as much a part of the problem as anyone else. Everyone should be held to the same standard. Period.

As for comedy gold, there are two classics in this thread...

This ironic quote from contrarian:

Quote:
Like Cap'n Ron said " If it's going to happen it's going to happen out there" . The fact that someone would tell you to simply " grow a pair " indicates they lack a respect for good judgement.
And the pink crochet tuke:



Classic.

Last edited by smackdaddy; 12-29-2017 at 01:24 PM.
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post #133 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

"What we have heah, son, is a failure to communicate" Damned, I loved watching that movie!

Happy New Year, Guys and Gals,

Gary
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post #134 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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"What we have heah, son, is a failure to communicate" Damned, I loved watching that movie!
............
shaking the bush, boss...

Yeah, a real classic
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post #135 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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"What we have heah, son, is a failure to communicate" Damned, I loved watching that movie!

Happy New Year, Guys and Gals,

Gary
Same actor, different Paul Neuman film, "Morons, I've got morons on my team. They don't shoot you going down the mountain...."

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post #136 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

Grow a pair Of what???? Boobs would be nice for a while. Then reality would set in back pain, $$ of support bras, fending of men who still think it is 1960, RM, DT, HW, no thanks..

I am a new Sailer too and do get nervous but that is good it make me think stuff through bit. It will pass with experience.
I am learning Solo so everthing needs a bit of thought and more safety. For example. If i fall off with autopilot on I better be attached to a jack line and have a way to get back into the boat. I use a small web ladder stuffed into my jacket. rope dragging behind the boat would not work. try it.
I laugh at my self some times because i paddled the same lake in a 16 foot Canoe with out any of the same trepidation but that was because i have spent years in a canoe.. Experience = confidence.
sooo Dont worry just take your time and learn. there are lots of videos of "REAL MEN" with there boats on rocks, docks, bridges, other boats.....
From my experience the sailing community is awesome and if you need a hand or advise they are more then willing to help.
"A pair off boobs" I will pass on for now as shaving them would be just a pain when the boat is bouncing around.
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post #137 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by dmdelorme View Post
"A pair off boobs" I will pass on for now as shaving them would be just a pain when the boat is bouncing around.
Heh-heh. More gold.
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post #138 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by MikeOReilly View Post
Hi Trevor, and welcome. Ignore all the silly bravado. Sail your own sail. Being nervous is not unusual. It’s the sign that you are paying attention to the very real challenges of sailing and cruising. Don’t let it debilitate you though … that is where it tips into dysfunction.

But ignore the calls to “man up” or “grow a pair.” This is kindergarten talk. Moving at your own pace is what being a REAL ‘person' is all about.
'Nuff said. I've had my MacGregor 25 since 2010 and while I am pretty confident when I singlehand -- which is much of the time -- I got there by moving the edge of my comfort zone over time, then pushed the limits to gain a new level of skill.

I noticed a year or so ago that I was heading out into a bit of chop and current that five years ago, would have had me heading back into the marina. All gaining confidence takes is time, experience, and a willingness to challenge yourself.

Good luck!
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post #139 of 218 Old 12-29-2017 Thread Starter
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by smackdaddy View Post
The OP himself registered Ian's initial "grow a pair" post as a joke
Yes, initially I did, but reading my response in full context shows that my initial presumption was incorrect. I had hoped it was a joke, but his further posts proved much to the contrary. oldlaxer1 laid all his childish nature out plainly to see on the bottom of page 13. Thanks for that, by the way.

While your defence of him is honorable, I do share the majority opinion that he's been quite demeaning and rude. He's even stooped so low as to insult peoples financial status. He is the objective definition of a troll. I'm glad he hasn't posted much since, to be honest.

It's a real shame this important thread (or at least its important to me) has been bordered by this childish nonsense. Sure, people can give opinions to the contrary, of course. It would be ridiculous to suggest otherwise. But there is no reason for impudence. I hope it stops here.

---------------------
Thanks again for everyone sharing their opinion! Guyfromthenorth, you've listed out quite the check list for me! I'll be sure to save this for the future!
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post #140 of 218 Old 12-29-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by trevorharris View Post
Yes, initially I did, but...
That's all I'm saying - trev. Again, what you responded to thereafter was not his response to you - but to others who were insulting him. So call a spade a spade. There's no reason to gang up on someone.

As Sloop said, there's a lot going on behind the scenes here on SN that has been going on for a long time. And my point herein has been - and still is - that fair should be fair. People can't troll a guy then call him the troll. That's not how it works. I know.

In any case, I've been around the question of nervousness and sailing since the day I joined this forum in 2008. From "FightClub For Sailors" - to the more pertinent Big Freakin' Sails, it's always been about facing that nervousness (whether about the boat or the talent or the readiness) and pushing the limits as most have said here. That's really what sailing is all about. Always.

Whether you want to call it "growing a pair" or "having a set of stones" or "if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen out there" or "being prepared as you can be and heading out" - it still comes down to the same thing...leaving the dock when you're not absolutely sure about the outcome.

This is what Ian was basically saying. And he's right.

It all comes down to what I laid out in the FightClub thread here about 10 years ago...

Quote:
The Philosophy of The Stones:
When it comes to big sailing, what are “stones” really? Quite simply, it can all be broken down as follows:

1. One-Part Zest for Adventure and Excitement (left-hanging)
2. One-Part Desire to Push One’s Self Beyond One’s Limits (right-hanging)
3. One-Part Brain (just above and center)

When one employs the proper mixture of these three, you get stories of epic voyages, great attitudes, great lessons, and exciting sailors.

When, one relies only on 1-2, you get the inevitable SOS, next-of-kin notification, and the relentless POS I-Told-You-So on the forums.

However, as you find on most sailing forums, when one relies too much on 3, the 1-2s shrivel away to useless lumps. All you need to do is listen to the shrill forum sermons and this becomes perfectly clear. They lay down their rules for avoiding “stupidity” (e.g. – use of the 1-2s); and those rules get narrower and narrower and narrower. This goes on until they’re old and fat, sitting on the dock reverently talking about how much they know – and how much they want to just “protect sailing newbies from risk and danger"...
At that point - I was the newbie. I'm not now. And I was right...then - and still am. You just have to go - and be smart about it. Then take whatever is coming. Whatever you do, don't hug the dock.

So, my advice? Have a few Dark-n-Stormies and enjoy being around sailors...even the annoying ones. You'll learn something from all of them...and get a good laugh while you go.

Last edited by smackdaddy; 12-29-2017 at 10:16 PM.
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