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post #21 of 218 Old 12-22-2017 Thread Starter
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Re: How nervous are you?

ianjoub, I honestly thought your first post was a joke. I didn't imagine someone in this community could be so crass. You've insulted people beyond reason and have shown your own insecurities portrayed by your incessant need to justify yourself. We're all just folk here, all equals. You're not doing your countrymen well by conforming to a stereotype.

In a way I appreciate your demeanour. We need people like you in this word to make the rest of us look better. So on behalf of everyone else, we appreciate your sacrifice.

Now, please stop cluttering up this thread which is important to me. I'm not going to bother justifying myself to you - I've already spent more thought on you than my time is worth.

As for the rest of us, let's just stop feeding this troll.


-------------------
Anyway, now that that's over with. Thanks for the replies everyone! I'm never single handling it - my wife is usually on the tiller and I'm on the lines. We're both sufficiently intuitive people and keep a weather eye on, er, the weather.

On one of our training sails on another boat we did run aground (neither of us were at the helm), so that's a cause of some fear, but as Arcb sated, I am indeed more worried about something breaking on the boat causing a cascading problem.

Most of the suggestions have a similar theme - as chef2sail said, Success breeds confidence. I've got all the safety equipment, life raft, and radios. I'll just keep on keepin' on. Glad to know I'm not alone in this thought.

Thanks all! I appreciate it!
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post #22 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

Trevor,
If someone is not at least a little bit nervous about something happening, sometime, then I would say that they're overconfident. If you plan for something to go sideways, then you have a plan to follow. Sometimes things will just happen, usually they are minor and you're just left praying that nobody saw you.

For example: the first time I went out with a friend of mine, on his new to him boat in a new to us area. There was a very narrow, and poorly marked 20' wide dredged channel through some marsh(read cement block, w/ bleach bottle buoys), we ran aground doing 2 knots, about 30' from two guys who were eating sandwiches while fishing in the shallows. They just sat there, and watched. We got ourselves off before they finished their sandwiches, they never stopped chewing..all was fine, but egos were bruised. We shook it off and had a great sail, all was forgotten, except we learned which buoy, ahem, bottle, was a little off.


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post #23 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

I get nervous about going into a new place lots of times. IT is normally a combination of the chart making it look hairy, ActiveCaptain warnings, or stuff about it in a guide book. So I spend the trip looking at it over and over and get all wond up. The thing is that once I get to the place it has always turned out to be a non event. But I donít know if the reason is that it wasnít a big deal or whether it was because I was really prepared mentally to deal with it.

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post #24 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

It sounds to me like the OP is more worried about the machine (the boat) than his ability. Is the boat fully found? This IMHO is a rational concern. Engine failure, rigging failure, etc. How do you get over it?

First prioritize. The only things that have to work are:

1. No leaks, the boat cannot sink.
2. Rudder, so you can go where you want to go.
3. Standing rigging so it doesn't fall on your head.
4. Running rigging and sails so you can make the wind move it.
5. Motor so you can get into tight slips with no or unfavorable winds and currents.

Everything else is comfort. A head can be a bucket, pressure water can be a bucket, you can eat cold food, refrigerate with ice, sing rather than listen to your entertainment system, etc.

So make sure 1-5 is sound. If you doubt your own ability to assess these systems, get someone to help you. Then beat the boat up. If you are comfortable in 15-20, go out in 20-30 and tie in a reef. Stress the thing to prove to yourself it ain't gonna break.

When a boat is new to me, we've owned 5 over too many years, I start out conservative. New or used. I've had all kinds of things break at bad times. We are conservative as all get out when it come to insuring the 5 items above are solid.

I think early on, with a new to you boat, and things are breaking at a high rate, it's hard to get confident in the machine. Don't feel bad....I think it's rational. Clean up the priority systems and keep pushing the envelope...your worries will fade away.
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post #25 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by contrarian View Post
Being a man and claiming to be a man are two entirely different things. You think bravado makes you a man? You are obviously still a boy.
This!!
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post #26 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

As a submariner, I have been brainwashed into having a very critical attitude towards maintenance, inspections and monitoring.
I'm constantly checking rigging, lifelines, hull penetrations (shaft, seacocks, through-hulls). The slightest amount of water in the bilge makes me grind my teeth.
I watch my engine gauges like a hawk when motoring. I check the bilge regularly while cruising. I listen for any cycling of the bilge pump and the shower sump.

I'm nervous when I set out for the first sail of the season. I begin to relax after making rounds of the boat and finding everything working properly.
I'm nervous when darkness falls. I usually relax about 30 min. to an hour after full darkness when I realize that the keel isn't just going to fall off because the sun set.
I'm nervous for an hour or two when I cross the boundary into the Atlantic. I manage to relax once I convince myself that the mast could just as easily fall down while inside the Chesapeake.

Capecodda is right about prioritizing. I also have that mindset. I think I'll call it "Capecodda's hierarchy of needs."

Anyway, a total lack of fear keeps you ignorant to your environment and will lead to complacency and eventually, some sort of casualty.
Too much fear can be just as detrimental. It can force you to freeze during a critical moment or affect your judgement in other, negative ways, not to mention sucking the joy out of sailing.

The right amount of fear (or caution, if you prefer) keeps you aware of what's going on around you, causes you to be introspective and think about your actions and decisions but still allows you to function at a high level.

Alacrity, 1981 Tartan 33 #168
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post #27 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

The feeling of being nervous is an instinct created by evolution. In excess, it can be paralyzing, but a little will increase your adrenaline, which in turn increases alertness. It's driven by being prepared for something you can't anticipate.

So, if unclear anticipation is the problem, let's focus on risk management. First, it's well known that the boat is much more capable than it's crew. Abandon vessels are frequently found floating, long after the evacuation.

Good risk management requires you to identify the risks, then understand what you would do. You're not going to die, if you have proper RM plans. Period. So, what are the risks? Falling out of the boat?...... tether in, wear a PLB and/or VHF radio. Boat leaks?...... stock up on leak mitigation, plugs, stay afloat, soft plugs, even a pillow under your foot will slow about any leak enough for the bilge pump to keep up. How about an inability to maneuver, such as motor issues, broken rudder or rigging?...... get a $150/yr towboat insurance policy.

It's all about identifying the risks that are causing your anxiety and have a plan. Then go out and sail. You'll likely find this saying is very true........ worrying is just paying interest on a debt you don't owe.
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Last edited by Minnewaska; 12-22-2017 at 08:35 AM.
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post #28 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

I didn't notice you were in Western Newfoundland. Big boy cruising grounds. It makes the comments about sailing a 53 foot boat in South Florida bit funny, at least to me. I spent about a month hiking at Grosse Morne a bunch of years back, it's a pretty unforgiving coast line. A bit like sailing on the moon compared to south Florida.

In terms of docking, I think you've got yourself a pretty tough little boat there. Even if you totally lose control and smash into a piling or something, I wouldn't expect a lot of damage.

I've been trying to think what makes me the most nervous. I would say getting caught out in damaging weather and dismasting. Mostly if I start to get concerned I have three main tools in my tool box; reef often and reef early and seek shelter.

Like mentioned above, there are things worth worrying about on a boat that size: a big hole in the bottom from a keel or engine issue, fire, getting dashed on a rocky shore by waves and things that maybe aren't that big of a deal, like messing up a docking or the odd accidental gybe. I think after you make a few mistakes, you will have more confidence.

Last edited by Arcb; 12-22-2017 at 09:02 AM.
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post #29 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamayun View Post
So wait, let me get this straight, IanJoub ("landlubber"?!?), whenever I get nervous taking my 38-foot boat solo on the Pacific, hundreds of miles offshore, I should grow a set, too? I guess this means that neutered males and females are the only ones who ever feel a bit twitchy at times? Call it what you will, but a little nervousness about any new activity or when in a new environment is just a healthy counterbalance to our (often inflated) egos and it certainly doesn't require growing some dangly appendage
I would ask "what are you nervous about"? If you can identify the issues and address them in your own mind, you should no longer be nervous. I would suggest that it is best to identify ones fears/concerns and address them before setting off. That is what manning up/ growing a pair is.
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post #30 of 218 Old 12-22-2017
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Re: How nervous are you?

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Originally Posted by trevorharris View Post
ianjoub, I honestly thought your first post was a joke. I didn't imagine someone in this community could be so crass. You've insulted people beyond reason and have shown your own insecurities portrayed by your incessant need to justify yourself. We're all just folk here, all equals. You're not doing your countrymen well by conforming to a stereotype.

In a way I appreciate your demeanour. We need people like you in this word to make the rest of us look better. So on behalf of everyone else, we appreciate your sacrifice.

Now, please stop cluttering up this thread which is important to me. I'm not going to bother justifying myself to you - I've already spent more thought on you than my time is worth.

As for the rest of us, let's just stop feeding this troll.


-------------------
Anyway, now that that's over with. Thanks for the replies everyone! I'm never single handling it - my wife is usually on the tiller and I'm on the lines. We're both sufficiently intuitive people and keep a weather eye on, er, the weather.

On one of our training sails on another boat we did run aground (neither of us were at the helm), so that's a cause of some fear, but as Arcb sated, I am indeed more worried about something breaking on the boat causing a cascading problem.

Most of the suggestions have a similar theme - as chef2sail said, Success breeds confidence. I've got all the safety equipment, life raft, and radios. I'll just keep on keepin' on. Glad to know I'm not alone in this thought.

Thanks all! I appreciate it!
Good for you Trevor,

I think you have the right attitude. Lots of good advice from others here. Even the most seasoned sailors in here started out as newbies or inexperienced once.

Keep pushing your envelope. That will breed confidence. We all have had mishaps. Things break. Itís part of boat ownership. When you own a boat and put all the effort and time into fixing her up it sucks, but it happens.

Do what you feel is comfortable for you and your wife. You also want the experience to have fun . Only you know what those limits are.

I found that patience with myself and her were most important. After all this activity s shared and I bet you want this to continue.

Once in a while if you can go on another boat, or join in racing in your area, youíll see how others handle every day sailing and also more challenging situations. That can be a great learning experience.

As far as the aberrant poster here, it takes all kinds to make a village. Never get in a pissing contest with a skunk.
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