girlfriend/wife hates sailing - Page 6 - SailNet Community
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post #51 of 54 Old 09-28-2009
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Originally Posted by jpd531 View Post
Lifes too short, get a divorce and go sailing. Guys I hear say this always end up lossing the boat in the divorce anyway.
My wife is not enthused. She can't even swim. Well, she says she can swim but can't tread water. I try and show her that she is simply pointing her feet the wrong way. She gives me that STFU look and can't comprehend. She gets panic attacks crossing bridges in the car. I can't even imagine what her fear of boating must be like. She reads books daily for enjoyment, but won't touch a sailing book. So here I am having to start with swimming lessons. Then a Buccaneer on the lake, always keeping a line to shore just in case. Then maybe a 28 footer. Then maybe some books and maybe some more sailing.... before having to start over with a sailing school for two. I'm looking at possibly five years wasted work on her before throwing in the towel. The 36 footer is probably not in the stars. I'm 55+ now and am really looking forward to finishing out my days on the water. I am honestly thinking I should just bag it (the relationship) now, get (re)planted near the Chesapeake, and start with that 36 footer... alone.
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post #52 of 54 Old 09-28-2009
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I'll be the first to admit, I didn't read this whole thread Not all things have to be enjoyed together. Not to say you can't try, but it's ok for each person to have different hobbies, and hopefully, a few that you can share.

My $.02. YMMV.

I sail.
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post #53 of 54 Old 09-28-2009
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For some people sailing is not associated with pleasure but stress and anxiety or fear. Those associations can be tackled partly by organisation and partly by dealing with them as any other phobia. Hint would you expect rubbishing to overcome a fear of heights or flying?
As some have mentioned it is a good policy to give others hands on learning as an introduction. However it is difficult to do that when one of you has to focus on a child.
A child of that age is a major problem not just because it is the NO stage and the running away and crossing roads stage but also because of an inability to brace and the danger of being thrown around and impeding movement. One person I know installed a car seat in the cockpit. Another idea is to try to make as much of the time correspond with sleep time as possible. To keep the child below make a child space say in the quarterberth say decorated with stars, butterflies, fairies, or whatever the child is keen on with their input so they are happy to spend time there.
For all of you the associations should be fun relaxation and pleasure think food wine and laughter, not stress coercion and fear.
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post #54 of 54 Old 09-28-2009
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My wife and I have come to something of a resolution. She has intractable seasickness and finds sailing to be "stressful" . The kids, on the other hand, really like going out so I just take them- works out best for everyone. As they get older, I'll have a full crew.

FWIW, the 2 year old is the most avid and throws a fit if she can't go.
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