Join Date: Sep 2016
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Re: Developing Courage - Managing Fear
Yes, we sail our Pearson Flyer nearly every weekend. She knew she had to throttle it up to get it back into the wind when I was dousing the main. She did fine, it was later when we were home she started talking about her fears. She asked me how to manage those fears and act in spite of them. I told her fear keeps you safe. I think the impending voyage, which we talk about constantly and dream of every day and every night is amplifying her feelings as she thinks about handling a boat much bigger and 4 times the displacement. Of course we will have lots of things like a wheel, cockpit enclosure, windlass, roller furling, engine controls not hanging off the stern, and lazy jacks that are going to multiply her (and my) muscle power.
Our plan is to sell the current boat, buy a 40 foot something in the spring, spend most of next summer outfitting plus sailing locally and plan to leave for Central/South America next fall hopefully in the Ha Ha. We are retiring in March. We've been married 3 years. We live now in a very small apartment in northern Baja and sail out of San Diego. She is a MX national, bilingual, very petite, she is very excited to go. Of course I am asking her to drop everything and sail away from friends, family and her world. She is very excited and proud to be doing that. This is nothing new, we've been planning it for 4 years, its getting close now that our boat is up for sale.
We love each other and get along fine, we talk about everything, including this thread. She has some other fears such as she highly avoids the sun and is very afraid of social situations especially with gringos even though her English is fine (she is qualified as a MX English teacher in MX high school). She did not know how to drive when I met her, I taught her to drive, now she drives all over even across the border to the marina, in an old Ford Explorer I gave her. Try doing that and stay married. I also taught her to swim in the marina pool. She is highly adaptable, a great cook, used to tight spaces, and willing to use a portipotty (on the current boat). She came up with the idea for our current boat shower (a small inflatable pool we blow up an put on the salon floor, followed by a bucket shower (we call it good clean fun). She never gets seasick. She loves to read and could sail to hell as long as a movie was playing down below. She's highly curious and wants to know how everything works.