Joined
·
1,072 Posts
- Reaction score
- 277
I wrote this a few years ago. Thought it was funny. Maybe some can relate. I'ts all true, even the names! Enjoy but don't judge.
Sunday
Got off to a late start – got to the launch in Wells about 9:30
10:30 - Launched boat in lowest tide ever. Ripped calf muscle (felt the pop), now hobbling like Barbosa with a pint of rum in him.
10:32 – Run aground – many onlookers – had to hike out on a line to heel the boat drastically, reducing the draft. (Wells has a sandbar RIGHT in front the launch!)
10:40 - Out of the harbor, wind is S-SE. Could not be any worse but it’s about 7 MPH and we begin tacking.
12:00 – The fog rolls in and I begin to lament that the GPS that we ordered for the trip didn’t arrive on time. Considering covering charts with napkin to reflect current conditions. What would Thor Heyerdahl have done?
12:30 – I see a beach and some people – better tack to be sure. Due east for ½ hour.
1:00 – Tacked back pointing as close to the wind as possible. This should get us around Cape Neddick.
1:30 – Fog is thick – the waves ahead are rising funny. Pam assures me that it’s an optical illusion. After all, there are no rocks out here.
1:30:15 – Man waving frantically appears in the fog . . . knee deep . . . 100 feet away . . .ish. (MUST be walking on water)
1:30:17 – Tacking back out – straight out – due east
2:30 - This should be far enough – fog lifts – we tack S-SW
3:30 -We pass Cape Neddick
4:00 – Aint no way we’re making it today. Do we make York Harbor and pay $1.75/ft slip fee nestled behind a million dollar 60’-0 cutter or head back to York Beach, anchor, head in and enjoy the night life?
5:15 - Anchor down at York, boat tidied up, hoist LED pucklight in Walmart bag for anchor light. (Note to self : finish installing new mast light that I got for Christmas)
5:18 - Dingy loaded, hit the motor. Hey, where the #@)^&* is the propeller? It was there when I hit reverse a second ago! Prop settles in sand, 20 feet below me.
5:30 – Paddling in - one paddle (Pam borrowed second for canoe trip, never replaced) and one boat pole with a dust pan duct taped to it. We’re off!
5:35 - Rode breakers into beach. Breakers rode transom into my shorts.
5:40 - Hobbled around York for dinner, shopping, Golden Rod taffy, ACE bandage and the like. Alex orders shrimp with Annihilate Extract for sauce. Bad idea. Porta Potty wasn’t designed for THAT!
9:00 - Paddled into breakers, and water into Pam’s shorts. Got back to the boat. Went to bed angry.
Monday
7:15 - Up and coffee is made. Sitting in the cockpit. Calm waters but 3 foot seas keep the boat rocking. I can see 15 feet down to a perfectly sandy bottom. Is that a propeller I see there? Nice morning. I can hear conversations from the beach. Listening for “nice boat” or “good lookin’ stud muffin”. I’m used to disappointment.
7:40 - Pam decides to swim. Have at it Babe! (Call MetLife . . . just in case) Look for prop.
10:00 - Swimming done, pancakes served and cleaned up, coffee still hot, we weigh anchor, unfurl the jib and catch the 10 knot breeze away from the beach. Hoist the main and boat heels 20 degrees to port. We could literally hear the oohs and ahhs from the beach. Hated that.
12:00 – We’re past Boone light. If we tack now, it should take us right to the Isle of Shoals . . . right?
12:15 - Tack took us SW at best, headed towards southern Maine, not NH.
4:00 – still about 4 miles off. Wind is around 18 knots, waves pounding the bow and spraying us. Can’t see with my glasses, can’t see without them. The tack and the wind keep us at about 2 knots.
4:05 Alex yells “The anchor” and runs forward to catch what’s left of the anchor line paying out over the toe rail. I run through the cabin, pop the hatch and grab his legs, just incase.
4:08 Anchor retrieved, stowed below deck.
4:10 - Crew mutinies, Alex starts the motor.
5:20 - We pull into the Isle of Shoals harbor. Not sure where we’ll anchor or moor. Supposedly, you just grab an empty one. We pick one marked “POSSE”. Probably belongs to a really big guy with hairy knuckles and a bad temper.
6:30 - Full belly, cold beer, and a warm woman, only one more thing to complete the evening. . . oh shoot! The kid’s here! Anyone for Skipbo?
9:00 - Hoist LED pucklight in Walmart bag for anchor light. (Note to self - finish installing new one I got for Christmas) Light’s up and light’s out.
Tuesday
4:15 - Pam wakes with a start, only to hear, “Mom, I don’t feel very good.”
4:45 – Moans, groans, runs and puking over the rail done, we’re back to bed for a few more hours of sleep. Takes me a while, wondering if the porta-potty has hit critical mass yet.
7:30 - Coffee’s made, muffins are warming. Alex is sleeping.
8:45 - Fed and ready, boat tidied, we deploy the jib, the boat points nicely out of the harbor . . .looking good. Alex heads for the couch.
8:45:15 – Alex is asleep on the couch.
9:15 - Running due north. Sails are wing and wing, my home-made whisker pole works great but oh, the flexing is scary. It’s hot because there is no breeze sailing like this.
12:00 - We’re rounding Boone Light. (Somebody wake up Alex!) Can’t see our destination at all due to a . . . cloudy mass. Can’t tell if it’s haze or an eerie, shimmering fog. Wow, is that a group of 5 Navy TBM Avengers? They look new but haven’t flow those since WWII. Gone now. Man, I wish I had a GPS.
12:30 - Took a bearing to Wells harbor. Wind is 8 knots. Trimmed nicely, boat is past 6 knots.
12:45 - Wind dies, well, quivers and convulses, twitches, and commences chortling. Boat is below 2 knots.
2:30 - We can see the jetty and the buoys. Wind is GONE! Crew mutinies, Alex starts the motor. (What happened to the forecasted 10-20 knots????)
3:15 - Anchored off of Wells beach, waiting for Mike to arrive. Anchor holding, swells must be 5 feet. My mind wanders . . . What’s the bursting strength of a well laden porta potty at sea level . . +/- 5 feet?
3:50 - Mike arrives, does a stellar job backing the trailer into the water. We do an amazing job docking . . . in 10 knot freshening breeze. I do a lousy job pulling onto the trailer. I can buff that out later.
5:00 - We arrive home. I back the boat down the driveway. Pam retrieves the new GPS from the mailbox.
Wednesday – looking forward to next excursion but must wait for room to stop moving
Sunday
Got off to a late start – got to the launch in Wells about 9:30
10:30 - Launched boat in lowest tide ever. Ripped calf muscle (felt the pop), now hobbling like Barbosa with a pint of rum in him.
10:32 – Run aground – many onlookers – had to hike out on a line to heel the boat drastically, reducing the draft. (Wells has a sandbar RIGHT in front the launch!)
10:40 - Out of the harbor, wind is S-SE. Could not be any worse but it’s about 7 MPH and we begin tacking.
12:00 – The fog rolls in and I begin to lament that the GPS that we ordered for the trip didn’t arrive on time. Considering covering charts with napkin to reflect current conditions. What would Thor Heyerdahl have done?
12:30 – I see a beach and some people – better tack to be sure. Due east for ½ hour.
1:00 – Tacked back pointing as close to the wind as possible. This should get us around Cape Neddick.
1:30 – Fog is thick – the waves ahead are rising funny. Pam assures me that it’s an optical illusion. After all, there are no rocks out here.
1:30:15 – Man waving frantically appears in the fog . . . knee deep . . . 100 feet away . . .ish. (MUST be walking on water)
1:30:17 – Tacking back out – straight out – due east
2:30 - This should be far enough – fog lifts – we tack S-SW
3:30 -We pass Cape Neddick
4:00 – Aint no way we’re making it today. Do we make York Harbor and pay $1.75/ft slip fee nestled behind a million dollar 60’-0 cutter or head back to York Beach, anchor, head in and enjoy the night life?
5:15 - Anchor down at York, boat tidied up, hoist LED pucklight in Walmart bag for anchor light. (Note to self : finish installing new mast light that I got for Christmas)
5:18 - Dingy loaded, hit the motor. Hey, where the #@)^&* is the propeller? It was there when I hit reverse a second ago! Prop settles in sand, 20 feet below me.
5:30 – Paddling in - one paddle (Pam borrowed second for canoe trip, never replaced) and one boat pole with a dust pan duct taped to it. We’re off!
5:35 - Rode breakers into beach. Breakers rode transom into my shorts.
5:40 - Hobbled around York for dinner, shopping, Golden Rod taffy, ACE bandage and the like. Alex orders shrimp with Annihilate Extract for sauce. Bad idea. Porta Potty wasn’t designed for THAT!
9:00 - Paddled into breakers, and water into Pam’s shorts. Got back to the boat. Went to bed angry.
Monday
7:15 - Up and coffee is made. Sitting in the cockpit. Calm waters but 3 foot seas keep the boat rocking. I can see 15 feet down to a perfectly sandy bottom. Is that a propeller I see there? Nice morning. I can hear conversations from the beach. Listening for “nice boat” or “good lookin’ stud muffin”. I’m used to disappointment.
7:40 - Pam decides to swim. Have at it Babe! (Call MetLife . . . just in case) Look for prop.
10:00 - Swimming done, pancakes served and cleaned up, coffee still hot, we weigh anchor, unfurl the jib and catch the 10 knot breeze away from the beach. Hoist the main and boat heels 20 degrees to port. We could literally hear the oohs and ahhs from the beach. Hated that.
12:00 – We’re past Boone light. If we tack now, it should take us right to the Isle of Shoals . . . right?
12:15 - Tack took us SW at best, headed towards southern Maine, not NH.
4:00 – still about 4 miles off. Wind is around 18 knots, waves pounding the bow and spraying us. Can’t see with my glasses, can’t see without them. The tack and the wind keep us at about 2 knots.
4:05 Alex yells “The anchor” and runs forward to catch what’s left of the anchor line paying out over the toe rail. I run through the cabin, pop the hatch and grab his legs, just incase.
4:08 Anchor retrieved, stowed below deck.
4:10 - Crew mutinies, Alex starts the motor.
5:20 - We pull into the Isle of Shoals harbor. Not sure where we’ll anchor or moor. Supposedly, you just grab an empty one. We pick one marked “POSSE”. Probably belongs to a really big guy with hairy knuckles and a bad temper.
6:30 - Full belly, cold beer, and a warm woman, only one more thing to complete the evening. . . oh shoot! The kid’s here! Anyone for Skipbo?
9:00 - Hoist LED pucklight in Walmart bag for anchor light. (Note to self - finish installing new one I got for Christmas) Light’s up and light’s out.
Tuesday
4:15 - Pam wakes with a start, only to hear, “Mom, I don’t feel very good.”
4:45 – Moans, groans, runs and puking over the rail done, we’re back to bed for a few more hours of sleep. Takes me a while, wondering if the porta-potty has hit critical mass yet.
7:30 - Coffee’s made, muffins are warming. Alex is sleeping.
8:45 - Fed and ready, boat tidied, we deploy the jib, the boat points nicely out of the harbor . . .looking good. Alex heads for the couch.
8:45:15 – Alex is asleep on the couch.
9:15 - Running due north. Sails are wing and wing, my home-made whisker pole works great but oh, the flexing is scary. It’s hot because there is no breeze sailing like this.
12:00 - We’re rounding Boone Light. (Somebody wake up Alex!) Can’t see our destination at all due to a . . . cloudy mass. Can’t tell if it’s haze or an eerie, shimmering fog. Wow, is that a group of 5 Navy TBM Avengers? They look new but haven’t flow those since WWII. Gone now. Man, I wish I had a GPS.
12:30 - Took a bearing to Wells harbor. Wind is 8 knots. Trimmed nicely, boat is past 6 knots.
12:45 - Wind dies, well, quivers and convulses, twitches, and commences chortling. Boat is below 2 knots.
2:30 - We can see the jetty and the buoys. Wind is GONE! Crew mutinies, Alex starts the motor. (What happened to the forecasted 10-20 knots????)
3:15 - Anchored off of Wells beach, waiting for Mike to arrive. Anchor holding, swells must be 5 feet. My mind wanders . . . What’s the bursting strength of a well laden porta potty at sea level . . +/- 5 feet?
3:50 - Mike arrives, does a stellar job backing the trailer into the water. We do an amazing job docking . . . in 10 knot freshening breeze. I do a lousy job pulling onto the trailer. I can buff that out later.
5:00 - We arrive home. I back the boat down the driveway. Pam retrieves the new GPS from the mailbox.
Wednesday – looking forward to next excursion but must wait for room to stop moving
