Cruisers not as friendly etc. anymore

Lanealoha said:

I don't like to hang out with grumpy people much either.....

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I'll look at the bigger picture because the thrust is important. I'm not worried about Don, I think these attitudes are said in jest by him. I find them, and him, humorous and enjoyable to read As any comedian will tell you behind any joke is a kernel of truth.


I fight against many things from affecting my life. I have an affirmation I say every day: "Today, I, Mark, will enjoy myself". I say that every day and sometimes multiple times If I get in an argument with anyone I say it and go to something enjoyable. I pulled up at a dock with an idiot Dock "Master" trying to tell me what to do and that it was HIS dock and he knows better. But he didnt account for the fact the wind wasnt normal and his normal windward side was the leeward side. I shouted VERY loudly AT him because he insulted me and I let rip. It was an interaction he will not forget quickly. But a few minutes later I had forgotten because I don't let people affect my day, my enjoyment, my life. Plus I won't be back there in a hurry unless I want to be.

But one does need to fight. If an anchorage isnt friendly (Yes, I thought Mike O'R's Bystander Effect interesting) then pull the pick and bugger off into the sunset. Yes, I get it that some think the Caribbean is touristy above the level they like. Then they'd be fools to be in the Caribbean! I myself love it. Its fitting me fine. Im anchored on an 11 miles deserted beach with a small handful of boats and going to visit a frigate bird colony tomorrow. But the Caribbean is close to other places I need to be. After a few months/year in the 'wilderness' culturally I need to get to a big city, Paris, London, New York, somewhere. So next year we are probably heading to the USA so Marjorie can see it for the first time (I think that image of godzilla wrecking the city will be an approximation). Yes, we will be stopping in at that 400 boat anchorage, Georgetown, Bahamas and will love it as I have in the past. But any of those 400 anchored boats can be cruising by themselves, anchored with no one else in just a few hours. Even at that silly piggery on the beach there was only half a dozen boats anchored when I was there. Thunderball Grotto was ammmmmazzzzzzing and I stayed anchored there for about a week diving into that place at all times of the day and night, different sun angles, tide levels etc. That too, is just a bee's probiscis from the 400 anchored grumpy boats.

I even found solitude on the ICW in anchorages that felt untouched since some explorer stubbed his toe.

We are what we want to be. Yes, its our own fault if one is grumpy (or any other emotion) because we can select the emotions ourselves. Which brings me to a friend who was permanently suicidal (I have 3 on FB - all in that crazy business I was in), anyway, last year he had a severe life threatening illness and was in hospital for a long time teetering on the edge of zapping off to heaven. Well,blow me down but his recovery has gotten rid of his suicidal tendencies. Go figure! He's now happy as larry though still quite ill.

So, yes, I don't like hanging out with grumpy people either. If I have a beer with one and have to say my affirmation 10 times over I get a better friend.


Mark

Times change, places change. For the former one has to suck it up and enjoy what is there now. For the latter, find somewhere new.

Lake Ontario cruising has changed I’ve the past 30+ years. IMHO not for the better.

The remote island stop off on the way to Canada is now watched by Canadian authorities lest some horrible US sailor stop there rather than do a 100km RT to check in.

The party town that was a lot of fun is now dead.

The racing is a shadow of its former self, particularly races that require a border crossing.

Almost universally, port restaurants aren’t what they used to be.

It kinda sucks. But somehow new cruisers seem to enjoy it, a lot. I look backwards, they look forward.

Same with the SoPac. Friends ask when I’m coming back. Nah. It’s changed, the Polynesian and Melanesian warmth and welcome has been spoiled by the poison of western culture. There’s too many damned tourists. Many of my friends are dead.

What is there to go back to? Yet, somehow, new cruisers and visitors find the beauty in what remains. I suspect they just don’t know better, like those sailers in the 1960s who thought plastic sailboats with high freeboard were a great sail. It’s mostly perspective.

Yeah.... actually its a bit of a tough one.
"I'll give you the shirt off my back" is absolute garbage. But I will lend someone a shirt from my wardrobe that I'm not wearing. Maybe its something like that. I would not dismantle my engine (watermaker etc) to lend you a bit of it, but I would lend you the spare thats in the cupboard gathering dust.

I borrowed an electric Sawsall, a reciprocating saw a few weeks ago. A guy had it onboard the last year and never touched it. Virgin saw. I did my 10 seconds of chopping and cleaned it up perfectly for him, bought new blades etc, but its not a new saw anymore and no matter how well I cleaned it there was still a fraction of dust to prove it had been used.
I thought the guy was really nice that he leant me a brand new tool. It did take him 10 minutes after the VHF net before he responded. And later I found out why: He was waiting for someone else to offer his used and beaten up saw.

It sure is a tough one.

If I dismantle my guage from my watermaker and you break it, or I cant get it back on etc, I'm stuffed, my cruise is stuffed, my wifes 3 times per day showers are stuffed. I'm not gunna hear the end of it. So I too would be reticent.

Mark

sailordave said:

While we were sailing in the south pacific 5 years ago (on OPBs) just about everyone we talked to said they would never go back to the Caribbean. To much crime/unpleasantness/unfriendliness. I personally haven't experienced that in the few times I've briefly spent there, but...

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I did the SoPac in the early '70s and it was great, the Eastern Caribbean in the late '70s/early '80s the first time. However, I wish I had done the Caribbean first, as the SoPac changed much more slowly.
But I must admit that I loved areas of the Caribbean I visited just as much over the last 10 years, as the first time in the '70s. Of course things have changed, one of them being that there is much less extreme poverty in the islands. So, I don't mind the cruise ships, boat boys and beach bbqs of today.
As for cruisers changing, everything has changed. In the '70s we were a small group of sailors trying to build the charter industry, and if any of us needed something the rest would rush to help. Today, it is a cut-throat business managed by big, rich, international charter brokers. But still, we managed to find a small niche, chartering to Europeans in the Grenadines, and it was every bit as much fun as it was in the '70s. I think we each make our experiences in the tropics (cruising or chartering) by what expect, rather than enjoying things as they are, not wishing they are as they were.