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Cruisers not as friendly etc. anymore

7354 Views 109 Replies 27 Participants Last post by  Don L
Needed a small help item this week. There is close to 400 boats anchored here. The help I need I bet 100 of those boats could have provided and it would have taken less than 5 minutes time. Got no one offering and I even even was offering to pay. Just a few years past I would have been turning down people.

Last week was at an anchorage with a well known cruiser beach. Last time just 2 years ago there were regular sundowners etc. get togethers there. This visit in 4 days there I never saw anyone other than us even go to the beach.

6 years ago on my first year I collected a stack a couple inches high of boater cards. Now for every 10 I give out I might get 1 as newer cruisers just aren't interested in them. Boaters just don"t really even seem to interested in getting together.

The last couple of weeks in various anchorages I have noticed cruisers don't care how close they fly by your boat in the anchorage or how big a wake they made with their dinghies. All they care about is getting to beach bat faster. Just a few year ago it was only the super yachts that acted like owned the water and to hell with other boaters.

Now days it is almost common for someone to take up 3/4 of the small dinghy dock because they needed to lock their boat for and aft.

Maybe it is just me.
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I answer to a higher authority. And even then I have to contend with not doing what is better.
Perhaps you should charter a boat in the Grenadines and show that higher power what she's missing?
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well my HP gage sticks right out in the open and is about the easiest part to get at. I bet I am not alone in an anchorage with 300 plus boats

and I offered the payment

I also believe Mark Cole would help me as we personally know each other. But there was a time when we didn't and still the help happened. Maybe I will buy him a beer and a slice of pizza later in year.
I would also be in the reluctant camp to dismantle my watermaker. Yeah, I get it's just a gauge, but what if you or I bugger up the threads on either gauge or either our watermakers ? Not really likely but damn if don't happen sometimes. I feel like it would be lending you a piece of my engine. But probably I would give in and do it just to shut up the whining.

😄 (y)
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Re: Things are not as good as in the 1840's...

In my worldly travels upon returning to a loved place its not the same. That 😍😍😍 has gone, or changed, or just not even looking like it was.

I was saying this to a friend when I was re-visiting the BVI's walking along Cane Garden Bay. He said "You remember the palms taller and greener, the sand whiter, the smiles broader, the restuarants more rustic but the food better and the prices lower, the sun warmer, the sky clearer?" Yes, I said emphatically. I'd swear on a pile of bibles!

He was a Detective Inspector on the Sydney Homicide Squad and decided to give me a lesson of witnesses and what they witnessed compared to what their minds remember they witnessed an hour ago, a week ago, a year ago, a decade ago etc. He told me how hard it is for a person to understand that their honest memory is a total back of pure bunkham. The car was not red it was white. The guy with the gun was small grey and wore a blue shirt instead of... Even when shown definitive photos shot at the time the witness will claim they were manipulated, photoshopped.

So I have a rule (I have many rules!!) to always re-visit a place as if I have never been there before.
If things have objectively, factually changed: The restaurant isnt there because a cruise ship terminal is. I can find something else or leave.
But usually its subjective: my interpretation of my memory is murder-witness-wrong.

Every place is better if you go in knowing you need to make the experience new, vital, exciting.

Finally, to prove my point: I bumpped into some newby cruisers. They bought a boat sailed away exactly 1 year ago, coudnt sail, had never been on a boat. Both 'high achievers' in city life. Both said they have made more close, dear friends in the last 12 months cruising that they had in the previous 30 YEARS.

Some would say YMMV... but I say get off your ass and say a meaningful "hello" to every person you meet and follow it up with a conversation, drinks, dinner on your boat, and let it lead to a lifetime friendship :)


Mark
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I would also be in the reluctant camp to dismantle my watermaker. Yeah, I get it's just a gauge, but what if you or I bugger up the threads on either gauge or either our watermakers ? Not really likely but damn if don't happen sometimes. I feel like it would be lending you a piece of my engine. But probably I would give in and do it just to shut up the whining.

😄 (y)
Give me freakin break! If you don't want to be helpful person just don't. No need to make up a story of how there is a 1% chance of it going wrong.
I like your approach Mark. It's a good reminder that we make our own world. We get back what we put out. If you're a grump, you'll see a bunch of grumpy people. If you kind and open, that too is what you'll find. It's up to you.

The whole eyewitness testimony is well understood to be highly unreliable. As humans we all have too many cognitive biases to make it very useful. It's why anecdotal evidence is always considered the worst kind of data when trying to assess a phenomenon. All too often, we see what we want (or expect) to see.

And memory is not a tape recorder that we just roll back and then hit play. Every time we review a memory, we are recreating it from nothing. The fact is, our memories change over time, and again are highly influenced by cognitive bias. It's why the past is always golden, and the present is never as good.

Heck, not even Jesus' apostles could agree. Two of them saw him walk on water, and the other two didn't. If four people who saw the same thing can't agree that someone walked on water, well,...
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"Cruisers not as friendly etc. anymore"
I'll bet captain James Cook thought the same thing on his return to the Hawaiian islands in 1779.
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I suspect a lot of times our impressions and memories of a particular place are coloured by specific experiences and people we meet in that place. I remember a particular anchorage we went to that we absolutely loved. It was a peaceful, idyllic spot. we met another couple while out kayaking and were invited aboard their boat for cocktails. We returned to that same spot the following year looking for that same feeling, but had a very different experience. There were a couple of powerboats rafted up for a party, there was another one with a particularly noisy generator that they ran constantly. Same place, different people, completely different experience.

In general I have found people to be very helpful when they see someone in need on the water. Last summer, when a squall blew through an anchorage we were in, several of us immediately jumped into our dinghies to assist the people who were dragging. In this case, dragging meant they would pivot on their stern line and end up on the rocks. The boat next to us had their rig in the trees, and their rudder hooked on a big rock! They were inexperienced and had no idea what to do, so we had to coach them through it.

My inlaws chartered a 49ft boat a few years ago and were in an anchorage pulling up their anchor, and it came up with a huge boulder stuck on their anchor. Cruisers from all around came to assist with sledge hammers and prybars, (who carries such things on their boats?? Powerboats of course!) With the group effort they were able to get the boulder off. They would never have managed it on their own.

The thing is, in both scenarios, while it seemed like "everyone" came to their assistance, the reality was only 3 or 4 people out of more than a dozen boats came to assist. Others may have had their own problems to deal with, or didn't have the confidence or experience to step up, and yes, some of them might have been downright unfriendly and just didn't care to help, although I suspect the latter was probably the minority.

In Don's example, asking people to take a part off their functioning watermaker seems like a pretty big ask. Out of the boaters who heard his request, how many had watermakers? How many had the skills or confidence to take parts off theirs? Certainly if I was on a charter boat I would be very hesitant! And how many of those people were just plain unfriendly? Again I suspect some, but likely a small minority.

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In Don's example, asking people to take a part off their functioning watermaker seems like a pretty big ask. Out of the boaters who heard his request, how many had watermakers? How many had the skills or confidence to take parts off theirs?
Given the number of boats here and assuming 50% had a watermaker and that 1/2 those have a AC powered system I would say 94 boats have a WM with a high pressure gage. Out those I would say 99% have the "skill" needed to put a wrench on a gage and unscrew it. Heck given the types of cruisers here I bet 1/2 installed the WM on their boat.

I find it very sad state that so many here are looking for reasons when I told you the reason at the start. Cruisers just are not as helpful and friendly anymore.
How did you get around your problem, Don? Is your watermaker up and going again?

:)


Mark
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How did you get around your problem, Don? Is your watermaker up and going again?

:)


Mark
It has been up and running the whole time. The production is low and the other day I accidently turned the pressure up too high and it started making normal capacity. But i am not willing to run it over pressure so wanted to check to see if my gage is wrong. Currently takes 2.5 hour to fill a tank instead of 1.5

But that is a different topic.
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There are several places in the Bahamas that have unusually salty water and production tanks and TDS rises. Things go back to normal in other places. Is this happening in one particular place, or everywhere now? If still in GT, then nevermind.

Mark
Given the number of boats here and assuming 50% had a watermaker and that 1/2 those have a AC powered system I would say 94 boats have a WM with a high pressure gage. Out those I would say 99% have the "skill" needed to put a wrench on a gage and unscrew it. Heck given the types of cruisers here I bet 1/2 installed the WM on their boat.

I find it very sad state that so many here are looking for reasons when I told you the reason at the start. Cruisers just are not as helpful and friendly anymore.
Is it sad that so many of us want to give the benefit of the doubt to all those cruisers being accused of being "unfriendly?"

Or is it sad to assume they are all a$$holes because they didn't want to lend a complete stranger an important part of a critical system?

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There are several places in the Bahamas that have unusually salty water and production tanks and TDS rises. Things go back to normal in other places. Is this happening in one particular place, or everywhere now? If still in GT, then nevermind.

Mark
No. It started at at West Palm Beach and has been the same all the way down Abacos, Eleuthrea, Nassua, Exumas. It is either pressure gage reading wrong (unlikely really) or a clogged membrane (tried cleaning already). Sure don't want to replace $500 worth of membranes over a $11 gage!
Is it sad that so many of us want to give the benefit of the doubt to all those cruisers being accused of being "unfriendly?"

Or is it sad to assume they are all a$$holes because they didn't want to lend a complete stranger an important part of a critical system?

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The point is It IS A INEXPENSIVE CHEAP GAGE THAT IS VERY EASY TO LOAN OUT FOR 5 MINUTES AND IN YEARS PAST IN A PLACE WITH NO RESOURCES TO OBTAIN CRUISERS WOULD HELP.

I am tried of people here who are proving that in fact THEY are not helpful and looking for a reason to try to make it sound like it was too much whatever to be helpful. You are exactly proving the point of the thread!

You know what you would do IF SOMEHOW I ruined a loaned gage? You would take the tee fitting off and take it out of the system and run the watermaker based on product flow. This is what I would be doing if I could I could prove my gage is reading bad. But I wouldn't run the pressure high on mine till I know the gage is the problem. There is risk of loaning anything, if you are that worried just be a not willing to help a fellow cruiser! I have loaned out lots of stuff over the years from special tools, pumps, to even my dinghy
Think I will drop out of this. SN appears to be full of people just as helpful as Face Book. While I understand the world is becoming more of "me only" I thought a bunch of mostly older boaters might be different.
Don't ask 400 people. Ask one person ... someone you have a connection with, and know they can provide the assistance in the easy way you say it is (I don't know how easy it is).
What is over pressure? The membrane can handle 1000psi without damage, and running it up to 900 routinely isn't a problem. 800psi is just a compromise pressure between output and lifespan.

I think yours is new, so the membrane and piston seals/valves should be OK, but you never know. Not having enough feed water can cause it not to reach pressure, so check the water route from seacock to HP pump - and make sure the boost pump is operating to spec. Another suspect for low pressure is the membrane brine seal. If that is leaking, it won't pressurize the seawater well. Might want to open the membrane housing, pull the membrane and check the seal for any breaks. Then smear it with silicon grease and reinstall to make sure it reseats.

Mark
The point is It IS A INEXPENSIVE CHEAP GAGE THAT IS VERY EASY TO LOAN OUT FOR 5 MINUTES AND IN YEARS PAST IN A PLACE WITH NO RESOURCES TO OBTAIN CRUISERS WOULD HELP.

I am tried of people here who are proving that in fact THEY are not helpful and looking for a reason to try to make it sound like it was too much whatever to be helpful. You are exactly proving the point of the thread!

You know what you would do IF SOMEHOW I ruined a loaned gage? You would take the tee fitting off and take it out of the system and run the watermaker based on product flow. This is what I would be doing if I could I could prove my gage is reading bad. But I wouldn't run the pressure high on mine till I know the gage is the problem. There is risk of loaning anything, if you are that worried just be a not willing to help a fellow cruiser! I have loaned out lots of stuff over the years from special tools, pumps, to even my dinghy
Wow. Really? So now you are saying that all of us here who are trying to see all perspectives are also unfriendly and unhelpful? The very same people who literally spend hours trying to help others figure out problems on these forums and others?

Seriously Don! You can be such a curmudgeon sometimes!



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