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One of None
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ladies, how do you really feel? You finally get some time at the helm, feel like you have a handle on things, running a reach, tacking, etc...

Then he suddenly assumes whatever it is he's assuming and "takes the wheel" He just doesn't seem to consider that you may really not be quite ready to relinquish the wheel so quickly.

Lets hear it! The good the bad and the ugly! :D

Now on the flip side... you don't give up the helm.. does he pout? shout? act like he's lost because he has to man the winches?

(why does Denise come up with stuff like this?) :laugher
 

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Ladies, how do you really feel? You finally get some time at the helm, feel like you have a handle on things, running a reach, tacking, etc...

Then he suddenly assumes whatever it is he's assuming and "takes the wheel" He just doesn't seem to consider that you may really not be quite ready to relinquish the wheel so quickly.

Lets hear it! The good the bad and the ugly! :D

Now on the flip side... you don't give up the helm.. does he pout? shout? act like he's lost because he has to man the winches?

(why does Denise come up with stuff like this?) :laughter
I say, assert yourself! I wish my wife would take charge a bit more. I'd go lounge up front. BTW, she never mans the winches when I'm on watch, so I would be disinclined to.

But, sometimes I take the helm back because there is a tricky bit coming up, I know she is not quite ready for it, and if something goes wrong I would rather it was my fault.

With freedom comes responsibility; if you are going to fight to keep the helm, man or woman, don't ask for help you don't really need. Learn to manage good weather and bad, problems and easy sailing. I do not appreciate a fair weather helmsman, that only wants the comfortable times and then hides below from the rain or even a bad cross-sea.
 

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after three boats, and limited helming by the wife...we took ASA courses together with the focus on her getting 100% capable, without me "teaching".

Turns out other than not "seeing" puffs, she is much better steering a straight course, compensating for wind shifts....and just all around doing a better job than I can, even though I have more seat time.

She still calls for me to do major winching and pulling, and often in close quarters. But she is having a ball and I know in the even that something happens, she can at least get the boat to and fro.

I am very happy with her helming...

Good post Denise
 

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I love seeing my wife on the tiller. Of course, when she accidentally jibed in 25 knots while I was kneeling down into the lazarette and nearly broke my ribs with the mainsheet as it came across and slammed me into the tiller...she actually wanted to give it up.

What's a guy to do then?

I simply removed the rib from my lung, caught my breath, smiled and said, "sure sweetie".
 

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One of None
Hunter 34
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
SD.. a lesser man would have yelled, lol bless you!
 

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Honestly, I want her to love it as much as I do. What's a sucking chest wound between mates?
 

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One of None
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
well, hopefully some of the ladies will see this thread over the weekend.
 

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Some years ago I was on a dock with a guy who liked to race his 26 footer. He needed crew one weekend, and I volunteered, never having raced before. He was about 6 foot and 240 lbs. His was wife was 4' 10" and 98 lbs! He steered, she ground the winches, barely. She was always offering helpful advice about how to steer, which he always ignored. We came in about 3rd from last, which he was happy about, because he'd never before finished other than dead last. Now if the idiot had let his wife steer, because she clearly had a better idea of what to do, and put his opulent ass over the rail where it belonged, we probably could have actually competed!

Gary H. Lucas
 

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One of None
Hunter 34
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Gary yes! and he could most likely handle the sheets without winches!

Pixie and Giant went for a sail; Giant said; "Pixie grind me a winch." "Which winch thou would hath me winch I shall, but if I may steer, fun we may have, does that appeal?" she said. Giant replied "Fee fye fo fum! I'm on bum on the helm! not a bum on drum!" (winch) :laugher
 

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SFBay Sailor
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I solved the problem of wife being shy to steer the Bermuda 40, by supporting her decision to buy a Merit 25 for Estuary racing. She's a bit shy of traffic, and has not figured out the tiller totally yet, but its her boat. So far I have been willing to take helm when asked, but soon, its going to be "your boat, you dock it"

S
 

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I love seeing my wife on the tiller. Of course, when she accidentally jibed in 25 knots while I was kneeling down into the lazarette and nearly broke my ribs with the mainsheet as it came across and slammed me into the tiller...she actually wanted to give it up....
Are you sure it was an accident? ...or was the "accident" her forgetting to yell, "Look hon, a submarine!" before throwing the tiller over. I'm just sayin'... ;)
 

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One of None
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
....which should make some of you wonder why women boat owners seem to not have men onboard very often ..... (evil grin)
 

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Sounds like a larger version of the TV remote. :laugher
 

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I don't discuss my member
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I solved the problem of wife being shy to steer the Bermuda 40, by supporting her decision to buy a Merit 25 for Estuary racing.

S
Could not have bought a better boat. :)

Denise, where does this distain for male sailors come from? What kind of Neanderthals are you sailing with? Really? If you're sailing someone else's boat and they want to drive, its their boat, they can do what they wish. Just as if they're driving your boat and you want the helm, take it back, it's your boat. If they pout, tell em to HTFU and find another ride.

Personally, I really don't like driving, but people tend not to be as agressive in someone else's boat. Also on my boat the driver also does traveler, mainsheet, outhaul, and backstay adjustments and I just don't have crew capable of doing all that.

And the bit about the 240 guy driving a small boat w/ his <5' wife trimming, he's just an idiot. I don't know anyone who comes in the bottom 1/3 of hte fleet and is happy about it. Can't fix stupid.
 

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One of None
Hunter 34
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
No disdain, I just made an effort to have discussion here on the forum. Why take the PO to task for that? I thought the replies so far are really informative and actually show there are considerate sailors.

Men can come on my boat! Hmmm....Lessee... cook, pull the anchor....read the charts.... do the shopping...
 

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Wife puts us in and out of slip, makes me jump to and from the dock, so if anyone slips, "I" get wet! I do most of the sail trim if DH'ing. Especially racing, she tillers, I handle sheets etc. If on a longer daysail, cruise to place etc, she likes to get the feel of the boat initially, then turns the tiller over to me. Takes over the tiller to tack or gybe, altho I can do this myself, easier with two of us!

Must be why I am referred to as the cabin boy, she the admiral! Even tho I have many many more miles/hrs of sailing than she, not to mention building two sailboats as a teen.........

Marty
 

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One of None
Hunter 34
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
She's so very fortunate to have found you Marty!
 
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