Sail in your comfort zone
I really think this whole thread is a great place for new sailors to see a view of how folks look at performance. I, personally (with my wife) have a 26' clipper marine swing keel boat that has the racing ability of a 90 year old nursing home patient on her way to a colonoscopy. Getting it to heel over requires some big wind or running aground while moving sideways.
But to my wife, a new sailor, it's tilting the world. So in our first times out, we have looked (and required) that the wind is light and the waves are small.
Have we had wild, crazy times burying the rail in a maelstrom of speed and power? Naw! But we've had a number of enjoyable sailing days where aside from the sunburns and the docking problems, we've deepened our like of sailing and look forward to doing a little more next time.
If you're looking to race, this is a crummy technique.
If you want to bring your performance-based lifestyle out on the water and DO A LOT, this is a crummy technique.
It's working for us to build an appreciation of the lake (we're on the great lakes-No, not lake Nicaragua...), the weather, and how we fit into that grand equation safely (and comfortaby).
If you're feeling like you're pressed into more than you're comfortable with, it's anxiety producing. Yes, it creates growth, but originallly it's just a bad feeling. Beginning sailors, in my opinion, need small winds and no waves. They'll outgrow them. Until they get cocky and the lake takes them.