High anxiety-passage v. Coastal

A recurring theme on recent threads had been the suitability of various boats or features for open water transits. Repetitively folk infer " if it's gowing to happen...it will happen out there".
At dinner last night people from U.K., Australia, Canada, both coasts of U.S. who made it to BVIs reported what broke and when. When were their hairy moments. When they were scared or very stressed. All seemed to involve coastal sailing or day hops between islands.
This leads me to believe coastal sailing maybe more stressful, more dangerous to boat and crew and require a greater sense of alertness.
Off shore even with no weather fax coming in and the radar off you can see the weather. Coastal that thunderstorm can come over that hill and be on you in a blink. Waves break when their bottom hits the bottom of the ocean. Rather be in a 10' swell with a long period than 5-6' chop.
Offshore being 25 or 50 or even 100m off your position doesn't matter. Near shore a few yards maybe critical.
Before leaving to go offshore everything is as perfect as you can make it. Near shore. "aw I wont need it today" so let's go sailing I'll fix tomorrow.
Offshore crew is hand picked. Near shore " let's take Joe and Joan we owe them a dinner.
If you value your life you won't go offshore unless in an fully found offshore capable boat. Near shore "whatever- it will serve.
In short although "it's waves not the wind that will kill you" is true. It's also true it's the hard edges of the ocean that create a lot of the stress along with the other idiots in ships and boats.
I wonder if those more experienced than me agree that coastal is more stressful and quite possibly more dangerous.