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Master Mariner
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Discussion Starter #1
In these difficult times I sure would like the first thing I read on Sailnet to be something to make me laugh.
I know this isn't necessarily sailing related, but it would be nice to laugh at just one funny joke a day, here.

No discussions, comments or quibbles please, just one funny joke each morning. Take turns like gentlemen and ladies, please.
Thanks from an old seafarer who needs a laugh.
 
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Master Mariner
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Discussion Starter #4

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Dirt Free
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A priest, a Rabbi and and a donkey walk up to the bar.

The bartender says ......

What is this, some kind of joke ?
 

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A mathematician, a statistician and and accountant are all applying for the same job. In the interview, they first ask the mathematician, "what is 1 plus 1", who immediately answers, "2". Then they ask the statistician the same question, who answers, "I'm over 99.999% sure it is 2". Finally, they ask the accountant who answers, "what do you want it to be". They hire the accountant.
 

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There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can do math and those who can't.

(not sure why the math jokes are coming to mind, maybe it's because I could swear I did the math in my 401k and got a very different answer just a few weeks ago)
 

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bell ringer
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A cruiser walks into the liqour store in the Bahamas.


Really, it could happen someday.
 

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Shelter in place homeschooling day 5:
-Two students suspended for fighting.
-One teacher fired for drinking on the job.
Home improvements, home shcuuling, ...I'd rather be at work. :) :)
Them there's funny, but we are only allowed 1 per day, so I'm saving my laughing until tomorrow and the next. Having trouble doing so, though...

Mark
 

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S2 7.9 Bear Lake, UT
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No discussions, comments or quibbles please, just one funny joke each morning. Take turns like gentlemen and ladies, please.
Thanks from an old seafarer who needs a laugh.
Since this is your thread for your benefit and for us to enjoy can we add funny memes related to Covid or rather keep it away from that topic?
 

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Master Mariner
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Discussion Starter #15
I would rather have someplace we can stay away from all that, I mean it"s not like there isn't plenty of C-19 elsewhere, but if you think it will get a laugh, that's the point of this thread. A good old fashioned hearty laugh.
 

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Master Mariner
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Discussion Starter #16
Them there's funny, but we are only allowed 1 per day, so I'm saving my laughing until tomorrow and the next. Having trouble doing so, though...Mark
Yeah, yeah, I know. But every other joke thread ends up petering out to spurts and silences and I was really hoping for a continuous flow through this event.
What is it they say, quality over quantity? I promise, if more than one gets posted I'm not going to cut your grog ration for the day. Honest.
 

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My wife called to me from the other room and asked if I felt sharp, stabbing pains in my chest like someone was sticking me with pins like a Voodoo doll.

I said no, nothing like that.

Then she said "how about now"?
 

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I would rather have someplace we can stay away from all that, I mean it"s not like there isn't plenty of C-19 elsewhere, but if you think it will get a laugh, that's the point of this thread. A good old fashioned hearty laugh.
This was shared with me early on and made me laugh.
 

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So it's spring and the oysters are fat. Was at a social gathering the other evening. One particularly obnoxious guy was boastful about his epicurean skills. Host said 'Ive got an oyster here for you. We crowded into the kitchen. and there it was ,,the biggest half shell oyster you've ever seen. Boaster upped and slurp ,it was gone. AS we applauded, the host said' That's amazing ,the last three guys couldn't keep it down'
 
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