Laser printers all depend on static electricity to transfer the image. In a damp environment, you tend to get gray print on a very gray background, and clumping toner problems. Not a good idea on a small craft, unless you keep it in a sealed container and constantly dessicate that.
Plenty of tablets can be used as cell phones but there's this universal conspiracy thing in the US: All the good tablets with cellular connectivity, are not sold by the carriers. They sell a very small selection at stiff prices. Like AT&T, still selling the 10" Galaxy S3 tablet in the 2012 version, and refusing to carry the 2014 version, which blows it out of the water. Of course you can buy the 2014 version on the open market, but then, that's an "international" version that doesn't use the US's proprietary "4G-LTE-ish" bands at all.
But there are cellular tablets out there nd some can be used as cell phones. The rest can be used "with" your cell phone, or a "MiFi" type wifi hotspot connecting them to the cellular system.
Welcome to America, one of the largest third world countries?