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Loosing sleep over this

18K views 65 replies 31 participants last post by  eherlihy 
#1 ·
I know there have been many posts about the sanity of one dreaming/scheming/fantasizing about living aboard.

But DARN IT! I'm starting to loose sleep over the idea!! :confused:

Let me try to put this in some kind of order here:

It seems possible... equity in my house. I only have a Oday 30 but I could live on it. Now, I know my 5ft baby grand would have to be sold :D ... but all that aside. I could even sell the Oday.. get a ketch (love ketches)

I love the Eastern shore of the Chesepeake Bay. I could actually stay in my Htg and AC biz because it's so close to Philadelphia. Dammit they keep pushing the retirement age off.. it's 67 now I think I'm 59

Just doing some simple math (all I'm capable of actually) It costs me 15-20K a yr to keep my house. the home equity loan. (boat loan shhhh) and the other things for civilized life as a home owner.

to liveaboard, I think the costs are about 2/3s less?

Now the other thing that is really making me loose sleep: Thinking about selling it all, except the O30. Put a new engine in, head down the ICW to FLA, the Gulf then up the Tenn-Tom to tennesee. and then back down to the gulf to a more permanant dockage. live near or with family in TN 3 months a yr. and on the boat the rest of the yr. Then if it doesn't pan out go live in TN.

OH! I dunno! But it's starting to take over my quiet time!! I would need a plan I know. and my house is far from ready to sell yet.

I will say.. I know very well that wanting is not the same as having.

Sometimes in my heart of hearts I think I missed my mark.. Should be in Maine working for a wooden boat builder!

One thing that may really keep me from the south... I hate hot weather!

Alaska??? :eek: 2 yrs supply of lunista? (sleeping pills)

anyway... that's my conundrum.
 
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#3 ·
Denise,
A fine dream but to each his own. I know a lot of people live on boats but I just don't see how I could do it. The hull would close in on me in a few weeks and that's with a fairly good sized boat. Perhaps it's possible to check your dream out by not selling your house but closing it up and moving aboard for a while to see how you do. If it goes well then take the next step and enjoy the adventure.
 
#4 ·
Push comes to shove I could live on most things bigger than around the 30' mark but would prefer something a tad larger to give extra space for cooking and bathing. Raven (34')is liveable but there is not much elbow room in the head for showering and the galley could do with a bit more bench space. If she was all I could ever afford then she'd do although I think Ms Wombat would give me the flick or murder me in my sleep before too long.

My preference for a liveaboard is high 30's early 40's. Remembering that LOA is not the be all and end all for a boats size. I like the idea of keeping below 40' for the convenience. Remember also that living space when docked and going to work each day is a damn sight different to being on perpetual vacation.

Denise, why not just do it ? I'm working hard towards winding up my business, upgrade boat and bugger off next year some time. If the dollars end up OK then it will be a bigger boat but if not I'm taking what I've got. Maybe that will mean not going as far as I might have liked but there's an awful lot of Australia to explore, PNG is right next door and the Solomons , Indonesia, New Zealand , New Caledonia are not far away and all within reach of a 34'er.
 
#5 ·
thank you all, for good points to ponder

Well, the PO was living on my O30. I"ve spent a week with my son last summer and again last Oct. I felt great! Mostly on the hook too! only picked up ice/water/ and got pumpouts. Son didn't like it as much.. he was in the main salon. me in the Vee. It has a force10 stove/oven, hot water, head between the main salon and vee berth. Not as spacious as a Catalina 30 though! I think something bigger too.. one thought was letting my house out for rent. An option I could explore that with my Realtor I guess. thanks all!
 
#8 ·
You've never been to Spain in winter have you ? For that matter have you ever been to Spain in summer ? Rarely hot, never cold ??? Bollocks.

By flotilla you mean a rally ? God forbid. I tell you that would have to be my idea of hell. While I wouldn't mind if I had met up with another boat and we both headed off in the same direction at roughly the time the thought of heading off with twenty other boats , communal picnics on the beach, rafting up, effing sundowners etc etc makes me want to puke. I know that all is "horses for courses" but I'd sooner swallow the anchor.

ps - Yes I am aware that I'm an anti social sob and a gob but I like it this way thanks. :)
 
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#7 ·
Hi Denise,
Not as qualified as most to give advice but I've been going through the same thought process for two years now... I've sold half my possesions (still trying to sell my piano and some more furniture) - have my house on the market and hope to have it sold in the next week (fingers crossed) I keep thinking I'm making a mistake... selling all I own and moving to the keys to live on a boat... it's a scary process... (I'm 35 with no family) but hey we only live once so If that's what you want and you think you can pull off... then go and do it - I used to live in Nashville doing music and Tenn is great... you have family and support there so it sounds like you can make it work... I say do it... don't look back and have a great and enjoyable time... good luck
 
#10 ·
We've been going through the same mental exercise. We originally planned on selling the house to enable us to retire sooner and shove off sooner. I read a few accounts of people who came back home after cruising for a few years and then tried to buy a house again. They were priced right out of the housing market by the appreciating market. We decided we're going to keep the house so we'll have something to come back to someday. That means a few more years of the grind to do it though, but we starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
 
#11 ·
Set a date, make a plan and get after it. I personally would prefer to not have the option of not living my dream on the days that it's not so dreamy. There's no sense in even having the option of getting wishy washy.

Here's my plan (this week). In four years my building that my business is in will be paid for, and my son will be off to college. I can sell the business and the building for 7-800k. In that four year span I plan to get my scuba instructor license. My wife and I will then move to florida and live aboard our teeny little 27 footer while shopping for a used charter cat that hasn't been all used up. I'll find a job working as a dive instructor at a scuba shop while working on getting my 6 pack license. Once I've made Capt. we'll move south to shop for a small house in a location that I can run enough dive and sail charters to support my not working the rest of the year. I like Belize but the real estate is starting to get pricey. I'm not too picky about location though.

I know. There's a lot of big and important variables left out of my sketchy and far fetched plan, but it beats having nothing to look forward to.
 
#12 ·
Well Denise, since I am single again, I have been going through the same exercise. What if this, what if that? My 34'er is just barely big enough for me to live on, for a temporary basis. But thats just me, I like space, and a big galley. So, I think about living aboard all the time but I sit here at home and not on my boat, doing the same thing you are. I am figuring out how to finish my house to possibly sell it in the spring. But then what, buy a better house in a better area? Buy a bigger boat with a slip in SF and a slip in Alameda so that I can go back and forth when I need to be with my son? I am sure none of this makes sense to you as it is all personal to me, but just making a point that there is always so much to consider, but why the hell didn't I just go down to the boat tonight and sleep on her? Thats my immediate goal, work with whats available to me right now. Spend days and nights on end staying on her, and see how I like it. Good luck to you.
 
#13 ·
I don't get the conundrum at all; I hear what you want to do, I hear a rough idea of how it would go, so what's the issue besides it's something you haven't done and so don't know how that road looks like? You're obviously nervous, but that's a good thing; it means you're alive and contemplating something new. When we stop doing new things is when we start being a waste of space. Life means challenging oneself and seeking out new experiences.
As we get older we become more cautious, but that should just be a little wisdom that keeps (most of us) from doing really stupid things. A lesson that missed that 70+ dork suing his 19-year-old sprig for not doing the nasty with him.
But this is different. Fear is normal, caution is good, think about how to do it, and just do it. It'll work or it won't and you'll still have choices to make.
Keep living while you still have the choice.
 
#14 ·
You have the understand how big a role "stuff" plays in your life. "Stuff", as opposed to provisions, tools, and essentials, is endemic in most lives, and can drive a number of curious boating decisions. In the book "Sell Up and Sail", Bill and Laurel Cooper indicate somewhat contra-intuitively that their age and Laurel's need to cart around a one-tonne library (literally, apparently...we are talking thousands of books) drove them to purchase a 65 foot Dutch sailing barge!

http://www.sheridanhouse.com/catalog/cruising/sellup.html

At the other end of the scale, there are people quite happily living on Contessa 26s. Not many, though...you are more or less at the level of permanent camping at that point.

Investigation of how others have done it can not only help you decide if it is for you, but can also determine if you're doing it the best way (or in the appropriate boat) for yourself. One tactic is NOT to sell the house, but to rent it out for a winter, and to live aboard in the worst local conditions you can anticipate. Get through that cheerfully, and you'll have a lot of your questions answered. Hate it, and you won't have radically altered your circumstances.
 
#16 ·
Go for it and don't look back. You're considering it seriously enough to post on here about it, so go do it. It's not like you can't ever live back on dry land again if it doesn't work out.

Personally, I would not rent the house while living aboard. There's too many potential problems (poor tentants, late rents payments, no rent payments, broken water heaters, leaking roofs, etc. etc.) that will take up precious space in your mind while you're living aboard. Besides, I'm a Realtor and have seen situation like this end very badly. Playing long-distance landlord is not fun or easy. Management companies are expensive. Sell the house, then move aboard.
 
#17 ·
Denise -
As I understand it, you are presently paying for both a house and a boat. If you move aboard, your income stays the same because you said you'd keep the HVAC business. Your boat costs stay about the same, maybe increase slightly if your marina charges more for liveaboards (where we are the liveaboard fee is $580/month; if we had the same boat in the same slip but lived on land it would be $500/month). Your house costs decrease (if you rent) or disappear (if you sell). So what's the downside in trying it? At worst, you save some money and decide you don't like the life. At best, you realize you can free yourself of the dirt-dwellers clutter. As Valiente pointed out, you'd at least crystalize the value of 'stuff' in your life.

I'd try moving aboard while keeping your options open by putting your things in storage for a year or two...at least, the ones that have some emotional content. You can always replace a sofa, less so grandma's quilt. I'd rent the house - unlike kwaltersmi, we've had great satisfaction with mgt companies in AZ an MD, both charged about 7 or 8% of the rent, and THEY were the ones that got the 3 am phone call when the water heater went out.
 
#18 ·
I'd go in a heart beat and live on my Gemini, my wife even agrees it's big enough at 34.5x14 ft. Our yahoo group has many many couples that are. We both have occupations that are transportable to anywhere with an internet connection.
What holds us back is the FACT that her mother is 93, and given modern medicine that means my wife will need financial support for at least 40 more years, so we keep the house, jobs etc. I don't expect I'll survive to get my first soc sec check (I've got issues, see other posts). Of course grandkids would bring us back from time to time, but that's doable.
I've spent most of my life in less space than a 30 footer provides; if more space is needed I just go outside and lookaround. Housekeeping is so much easier on a boat too - we have a maid and a lawnservice to 'help' around the house given our busy schedules but I do all the cleaning and maintenance on the boat with joy and happiness (go figure).
Do it while you can, and most importantly while you can still rebuild if its not for you.
 
#27 ·
What holds us back is the FACT that her mother is 93, and given modern medicine that means my wife will need financial support for at least 40 more years, so we keep the house, jobs etc. I don't expect I'll survive to get my first soc sec check (I've got issues, see other posts). Of course grandkids would bring us back from time to time, but that's doable
Not to hijack a thread, but b'Jaysus that is the damned saddest thing I've read in a long time. What the hell. You have your own life and you will make your decisions as a couple, but if I knew my mate was holding off on doing her dream because of me I would tie her up and flog the life out of her. And after we had our fun, I would really scold her for daring to use me as a reason to not reach her dreams. I sure as HELL wouldn't want that on my conscience.

If your health really is that poor, and this means that much to you...I mean, anyone can have a house and car and Kentucky bluegrass, but how often do people get a chance for their dreams? Name me anything else worth living for? A nest egg? Money? Long term security? And besides, who says they are mutually exclusive anyway?

It's awful noble of you to make that sacrifice, but does your SO know that you are making it for her?
 
#20 ·
We did it, a few years ago... we were at the point where the house was paid off, the property we planned on building on was paid off.. we were at the point where we would sell the house and build our retirement home on the property we owned........
For us, we weighed out all the options, pro and cons, and decided to travel instead of settleing in.. We're both 55 so we made this decision at 50. Pall we wanted to keep in storage and bought the 42..
We also made an agreement that we would live the life for at least two years before making any other decision.. The first few month had there ups & downs as we got used to our inviorment..
But now we look bac on it and would not have had it any other way.
We've recently been working on a restrained lifestyle........
With the money we had left over the from the house, We invested some of which gives us a return of around $800.00 a month.. and we're working to stay within that area-(without working) and thats tyed to a dock and paying $400.00 amonth for rent.
By working within this budget, we'll be able to leave for our trip around the world within a month or so..
We know we wont be able to move back into a house but we figure when we get to old to sail, we'll buy a motorhome and travel the US hi-ways...watch-out...
We also know that if we dump it all, including the boat, we can by a condo somewhere..... but for now.....we're living our dreams.
 
#21 · (Edited)
Denise,

Great dream - that many of us share. Someday, I hope to convince my SO that this is the way for us to start our early retirement.

I can't share any of my experience, but here are two websites that I have followed about people that have. The first is the blog of a guy in Toronto that lives (or lived) aboard year round with his wife and son on an Alberg 30. http://weliveonaboat.com/index.html Read the archives, they are well written, and not too long. He hasn't posted in a while, so I hope that everything is OK.

The second is the website of Susanne Geisman. http://www.libertysails.com/Susanne and her husband, Ty, decided to quit their jobs in DC after 9/11. They bought a Morgan 46-2 in 2002, and lived "the cruising dream" from 2003-2006. They rented their condo in DC to some college kids while they were gone. Her book Living a Dream is an excellent overview of the process of making the decision, and acting on it. They returned to DC in September '06 to deal with a family tragedy, and then decided to refill the cruising kitty. Susanne currently does seminars on the boat show circuit, and Ty is a defense contractor consultant.

A third reference would be Beth Lenoard's The Voyager's Handbook especially chapter 1. Check it out. You can read most of Chapter 1 on Amazon.com's see inside link. She addresses crew (more than one) capabilities and motivation, and the assignation of tasks.

I hope these help you in your decision.

Ed

P.S. If I were single, I'd go for it!
 
#22 ·
My two cents:

I knew a guy who was semi-retired and kept his 30 footer on Lake Erie. He worked (if at all) between Thanksgiving and Memorial Day. He lived aboard all summer. His wife stayed at their condo in PA, she no interest in sailing. Winters he moved back with his wife.

Another couple I know plan to live aboard in the summer on the Chesapeake on their 30+ foot pilothouse. In the winter they store it and head to their condo in FLA and sail an 18 foot weekender. Works for them, too expensive I think for my budget.

This guy's life is my goal for retiring...if I ever get the chance.

The point is: Maybe try living next summer on board. This will at least give you a feel for it. You won't HAVE TO sell, rent, etc the house because it's only two months.

Hell 3-4 months? How bad could it hurt? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. He who hesitates is lost. Whether you think you can or you think you can't...either way you're right. And all those other appropriate saying...LOL

Good luck!
 
#23 ·
I really appreciate everyones kindly and thoughtful replies. thank you all very much.. I'm already sleeping better! It's looking like a 2 yr plan before I can sell the house. Maybe a yr but not likely.. I think my desire to be near my grandkids outweighs my desire to liveaboard. not sure on that yet. I don't know if the trip from the east coast down the ICW the Gulf, and up the Tenn-Tom ICW is even worth the cost when boats in the 30ish range are easy to find. Inland sailing sounds somewhat limiting but then, I'm not ready for coastal sailing yet either! Anyway I promise not to obsess more then necessary. Thanks all!
 
#24 ·
I think my desire to be near my grandkids outweighs my desire to liveaboard. not sure on that yet.
Gee, Denise, not sure of their ages, but if I were a kid and grandma lived on a sailboat, that would be incentive to spend MORE time with her, not less!

Maybe you could also consider the previous poster's idea of living aboard during summers and not giving up the house yet?
 
#25 ·
Denise, Nancie & I moved aboard a 30' boat in 1972. We're on a 41' now, but it was just because our children kept growing and they are gone now. We don't use the space we have. 'we love our life and live FAR beneath our means. I know little of moving from a house, because we moved aboard from "college apartments", but I think that it is likely to be easier and more rewarding than you maight expect! 'take care and joy, Aythya crew
 
#26 ·
Denise, I have been living aboard my 32' ketch for a year now. Initially I experienced much of the fear that you speak of but after a year I have found that many things just worked themselves out. As far as your boat I would recommend keeping the OD, put a new motor in it and go for it. You don’t want to start your big adventure on new boat that will just add to the stress and anxiety. Stick with what you are comfortable with and after awhile you will know if you need a new boat, and a boat with a new engine will be easier to sell. David:)
 
#30 ·
The health issues are cardiac related (multiple heart attacks) and strokes (multiple). Strength wise, no problem - I exercise hard and long. I'm not medically able to detach and go without the very real risk of leaving her stranded with a former skipper, now lump of meat as her crew. My last stroke was minor with no discernible lasting effects but occured two weeks ago 2 hours after pulling in from a three day weekend on Swan Creek. It left me weak, confused and unable to speak coherently for about 6 hours - not something you want when you are on blue water. Our old boat she could sail, the new one, she hasn't yet but likely could, well enough for the local area.
On the other hand, I have my dream boat, sail every weekend and on Tuesday we are departing for 3 weeks in the BVI and Cancun. Life ain't so bad.
Financially, we'll go when she's ready, she does want to and we are working towards it. Ditching the house is not an option in todays market, it would be a significant loss. I signed on for the life time obligation and part of that is making sure she's okay after I'm gone.
Yeah, she's aware - she's my partner in all things and would do the same for me.
Hi jack completed _ sorry
 
#32 ·
Sad to hear that, Chuckles. Best wishes to you.

We've also been on the balancing act between security and living your dreams. Although our story has a happier ending, there was nothing quite like the doctor's saying "the prognosis is not good" in the ER last year to bring priorities into focus.
 
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