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Closet Powerboater
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This week, my newly rebuilt engine is supposed to be back from the shop, and in the coming days/weeks the yard will be putting her back in and preparing my boat for launch. Based on my recent string of less-than-perfect luck with my new boat, I fear I may have pissed off Neptune, Poseidon, or maybe everybody on Mount Olympus.

I feel it's time to make things right with the gods and I need to figure out the appropriate ceremonial incantations to preform. We are re-naming the boat, but I don't feel like adhering to John Vigor's renaming ceremony. The boat's previous names are stenciled on many pieces of important gear that I do not want to chuck overboard. One thing for sure, is that we're not launching the boat from the yard on a Friday!

What should I do? Sacrifice small animals or virgins? Rum should probably be involved, and perhaps Finlandia vodka (the boat is Finnish), and it should be sufficiently impressive to attract the attention of the gods and demonstrate our fielty, yet subtle enough that a good lawyer could still get me off from any federal charges that may be levied as a result... :D

Suggestions?

MedSailor
 

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Full time cruiser
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it says you are in the pnw - if so you will more success in finding big foot than a virgin. but your name is med sailor so you may be in the med and if so the availability of finding a virgin is nil.

now that leave you with alternatives and i do remember a renaming ceremony a few years ago where a bottle of champaign was shared with king neptune.
 

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I dunno, if you're going to bother with it at all, might as well do it right. You can erase or obliterate old boat names scribed on objects - don't have to toss 'em. In fact, it is not only a good idea for the 'renaming' reasons, it is a good idea because if, heaven forfend, something should happen to your boat, flotsam will not have the right boat name on it and may confuse rescue personnel

here's another ceremony - I've done this on two different boats, both of which have been good boats

Renaming Your Boat - BoatSafe.com
 

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Master Mariner
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I've always felt that peeing into the wind showed the Gawds the proper respect. If nothing else, it got them laughing and that certainly can not be a bad thing, right?
Don't forget, the Gawds do not like a wasteful sailor, so you are also recycling that rum you were going to offer up as a token of your true fealty, but drank instead by accident.
Good luck with the launch and may no more troubles befall you.
 

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Have you considered propitiation of more-regional Pacific-Oceanic entities, like Kanaloa and whoever/whatever to whom the local Indigenous Tribes offer allegiance? A little something for Raven couldn't hurt, either. Mayber smoked salmon (for the locals) simmered in cocoanut milk (for Kanaloa/Tangaroa). Have a nice party. :)
 

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Super Fuzzy
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This week, my newly rebuilt engine is supposed to be back from the shop, and in the coming days/weeks the yard will be putting her back in and preparing my boat for launch. Based on my recent string of less-than-perfect luck with my new boat, I fear I may have pissed off Neptune, Poseidon, or maybe everybody on Mount Olympus.

I feel it's time to make things right with the gods and I need to figure out the appropriate ceremonial incantations to preform. We are re-naming the boat, but I don't feel like adhering to John Vigor's renaming ceremony. The boat's previous names are stenciled on many pieces of important gear that I do not want to chuck overboard. One thing for sure, is that we're not launching the boat from the yard on a Friday!

What should I do? Sacrifice small animals or virgins? Rum should probably be involved, and perhaps Finlandia vodka (the boat is Finnish), and it should be sufficiently impressive to attract the attention of the gods and demonstrate our fielty, yet subtle enough that a good lawyer could still get me off from any federal charges that may be levied as a result... :D

Suggestions?

MedSailor
Given that the Gods couldn't find an amenable lawyer unless they leased one from his Satanic Majesty I wouldn't be too worried about the wording. Overall though i'd mix up a Vodka tonic with fresh lime and lots of ice, drink the lot myself and throw the Gods the lime peel.

On a personal level I'm not in favour of sacrificing small animals while sacrificing virgins just seems a tadge wasteful.

So have a slug of that Finlandia and sacrifice the lawyer instead.
 

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Senior Moment Member
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Have a good party on board and pour a few shots of good rum into the drink for the aquatic Gods.
 

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Beneteau 393
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Talking of virgins... I read the bible once (ok, I am bulls...ing already) and it mentioned an idiot and his money are soon parted (it could have been an Aesop's Fable!).

anyway, the point is, you have a target painted on your forehead saying "Get Rich Quick From This Looser".

As soon as you really, actually, truthfully run out of money then the people ripping you off will realise theres no more blood to be squeezed from your stone (testicles) and they will quickly finishe the job and get rid of you so they can await the next sucker.

Luck is not "what you make of it" its how much you can afford. Tell them you are stoney, motherless broke and suddenly you can move on....


Mark......
 
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I think most of us have the wrong idea of sacrificing a virgin. This idea is traceable to Hollywood where the virgin is tossed into a volcano, offered up to King Kong or pushed off a cliff into the raging sea. All of these ceremonies ended with the demise of the virgin. These movies were made in the early days of Hollywood when prudish attitudes prevailed.
It is the virginity that is sacrificed not the virgin.

Good luck on the launch of the rebuilt boat. May you have many enjoyable days afloat before Murphy visits you again.
 

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It is my understanding that the sacrifice of a wombat on the bow will give favor from the gods for years to come. But where can one find a wombat?

Keep in mind that she may say she is a virgin, but don't believe it, she may just need to pee really bad and figure it is the only way you will let her do it on your boat!
 

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I thought the whole renaming ceremony had to be performed while sailing backwards across the equator. Sounds like a good shakedown cruise. Do you need crew?
I thought sailing backwards over the equator was supposed to reverse aging? Or is that what the sauna is for?
 

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It is not the ritual, nor the incantations, sacrificial animals or virgins that matter. It is the feeling of making a payment in your heart that really matters. True humility, remorse, gratitude, and respect for forces beyond our control, that makes for a proper sacrifice. In other words, it has to be your own blood, sweat, and tears that is offered. Such a worthy sacrifice is bound to be accepted.
 

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Med... it seems you've had your fair share of bad luck with your last boat purchase and somehow somewhere you feel you've offended the gods or Neptune, or whatever you may call it... ha ha.

I would start with coming to terms with all you've done to others (Karma, etc.) and write it down (long list?) then insert into a glass bottle (the virgin), insert into the bottle a number of dollars of your denomination ($$$), drench the bottle with your Champagne, wine, beer, etc.), say whatever incarnation you want to appease the Gods.... and toss into the sea. :eek:

Someone will find the bottle, maybe a youngster or someone in need walking the beach somewhere and find the $$$ in the bottle and offer you blessings and well wishes thereby fulling the wishes of Neptune. :D

To me drenching good Champagne or wine onto the bow of the boat worthless... it will not appease nobody! :laugher

ROMAN RELIGIOUS AND MAGICAL RITUALS
 

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Super Fuzzy
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It is my understanding that the sacrifice of a wombat on the bow will give favor from the gods for years to come. But where can one find a wombat?

Keep in mind that she may say she is a virgin, but don't believe it, she may just need to pee really bad and figure it is the only way you will let her do it on your boat!
Wombats ? Dime a dozen. To make it even easier for you here's a photo.



There has been a rumour circulating that Wombats are in fact fourlegged critters who cannot hop to save their lives. Not true. See above. Kangaroo btw is Wombat speak for Signorina.
 

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Don't call me a "senior"!
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I think most of us have the wrong idea of sacrificing a virgin. This idea is traceable to Hollywood ...
Ironically, Hollywood is about the last place where one could reasonably expect to find any virgins.
 
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Beneteau 393
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I don't think this is available to you, but Australians can just Dial An Aboriginal and perform a Smoking Ceremony. I got one for my last house warming :)

A smoking ceremony is an ancient custom among Indigenous Australians that involves burning various native plants to produce smoke, which is believed to have cleansing properties and the ability to ward off bad spirits.
Smoking ceremony - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
These people were possessed by a Grumpy Spirit but after the ceremony were singing and dancing and had group sex.
 
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