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snake charmer, cat herder
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2,663 Posts
how lonely do you get on land. is same thing only with a constant motion under the sole..hahahahaha
and there are many homeless cats and doggies if you are craving company.
being alone and lonely are two different things. you must be alone to learn who you are. you donot escape yourself when you are at sea--same as on land.

personally, after time with different individuals on my boat, i prefer the sola life with my cat..most people are not worthy of my time nor my boat. cat has good judgement about others--much better than my own..hahahahaha
 

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Master Mariner
Joined
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9,278 Posts
As Moitessier said, "There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely."
If having a female partner on your boat full time is important to you, then you must have a boat a woman will want to live on. The first thing that comes to mind is an onboard shower. Women in general really like their own bathroom and shower. They may put up with going to one ashore for a while, but most won't for long.
The other big thing I've found that most women like to make the place they live 'homey' and that means comfortable. If you've got a 25-foot boat, it is unlikely you'll get a woman to hang around very long. Guys like 'roughing it' a lot more than most women, and living aboard a 25 footer is certainly 'roughing it' in this context.
I went 18 years between my last wife and this one and I certainly got an ear full of why this one or that one wouldn't give up their crappy apartments to move aboard.
 

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Registered
Contest 36s
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7,780 Posts
I like the company of my SO and I also love to be alone on board. Shiva though it only has a single head with a decent (hand shower) is quite comfortable and cosy/comfy/homey. I have come art pieces on the walls, lovely custom cushions and velvet upholstery on the cushion. The galley is large enough to prepare a decent meal and the cockpit is large enough to lounge in as well. Shiva hardly feels like roughing it. Sure we use water sparsely... though it's free and we can fill up when needed. Wifey enjoys being aboard when the weather is not stinky (I am more tolerant of stinky weather). Now with unlimited hot spot data... we have access to media/entertainment that interests when we are not sailing, cooking, eating, sleeping or cleaning. We both being "in" nature... and away from urban stuff. We each don't need company... we enjoy it. Wifey is more escapist than I am... likes avoiding humanity... I am fine with walking Jack (the dog) in the park and chatting with people or just hanging on the boat messing about. If you are doing the boat as a pair... you sure better be on the same wavelength.
 

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Registered
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918 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
It's f***ing miserable.

But, then again, I was miserable living in a house on land, so I'm not sure I'm a good example.
Keep your head up this too shall pass. Plus I personally think there are advantages and disadvantages to both being alone and having a companion. Look at the advantages...
 

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Registered
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9 Posts
As Moitessier said, "There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely."
If having a female partner on your boat full time is important to you, then you must have a boat a woman will want to live on. The first thing that comes to mind is an onboard shower. Women in general really like their own bathroom and shower. They may put up with going to one ashore for a while, but most won't for long.
The other big thing I've found that most women like to make the place they live 'homey' and that means comfortable. If you've got a 25-foot boat, it is unlikely you'll get a woman to hang around very long. Guys like 'roughing it' a lot more than most women, and living aboard a 25 footer is certainly 'roughing it' in this context.
I went 18 years between my last wife and this one and I certainly got an ear full of why this one or that one wouldn't give up their crappy apartments to move aboard.
 

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Administrator
Beneteau 393
Joined
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9,205 Posts
"The boats falling over!"
"That's heeling. It's meant to".
"well, make it stop. Now!"

🙄

Took me ages to find Marjorie. Shake the ship and she just plonks down in the kitchen and cooks up a storm. 😍😍😍
 

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Registered
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2,848 Posts
To some extent…some people are meant to be coupled, and some not.

The Wife and I were both meant to be coupled, thus when we tied up and had hard times we fought our way through. And oh we did fight! Still do sometimes but far, far less.

My Wife is funny. She loves her interior decorator magazines (calls it her porn) but she did our apartment in orange crates and plywood. No joke. She really likes the simple life. We don’t have hot water, she dosen’t want it. She did want a cockpit showe, bilge pump in a bucket.

She quite literally got seasick in a dock. She has gotten much better and is still improving. And yet she is generally with me only rarely bailing out on (some) longer trips. She has an amazing tolerance for my antics and tremendous sympathy for my failures.

Her skill set is horrible. She has some kind of a PTSD sorta like reaction where she shuts down processing. Not always, far too often. Makes travel “interesting.” In the past 3 years she has taken over cooking, a huge improvement, her food is also improving, that PTSD thing extended to cooking, so for many years I did the bulk out of self defense.

We have been a good pair, but are a very odd couple being described once as “urban hermits.” As I type we are in the boat in a fair bit of wind on the dock. Came down to keep an eye in the boat while we have predicted 38 knot gusts. Thats alright. We are together, the world is right for both of us.

I am and we are happy.
 

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One of None
Hunter 34
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8,837 Posts
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Registered
1987 Cape Dory MKII hull #3
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581 Posts
I've known a lot of single mature and they do very well in life, that just so-called analysis insinuates they are deadbeats!
could be, I was thinking more on the fact that because medical advances and social changes the statistical numbers are tilting the balance and men are now surviving their female spouses in increasing numbers.
 

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Registered
1987 Cape Dory MKII hull #3
Joined
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581 Posts
To some extent…some people are meant to be coupled, and some not.

The Wife and I were both meant to be coupled, thus when we tied up and had hard times we fought our way through. And oh we did fight! Still do sometimes but far, far less.

My Wife is funny. She loves her interior decorator magazines (calls it her porn) but she did our apartment in orange crates and plywood. No joke. She really likes the simple life. We don’t have hot water, she dosen’t want it. She did want a cockpit showe, bilge pump in a bucket.

She quite literally got seasick in a dock. She has gotten much better and is still improving. And yet she is generally with me only rarely bailing out on (some) longer trips. She has an amazing tolerance for my antics and tremendous sympathy for my failures.

Her skill set is horrible. She has some kind of a PTSD sorta like reaction where she shuts down processing. Not always, far too often. Makes travel “interesting.” In the past 3 years she has taken over cooking, a huge improvement, her food is also improving, that PTSD thing extended to cooking, so for many years I did the bulk out of self defense.

We have been a good pair, but are a very odd couple being described once as “urban hermits.” As I type we are in the boat in a fair bit of wind on the dock. Came down to keep an eye in the boat while we have predicted 38 knot gusts. Thats alright. We are together, the world is right for both of us.

I am and we are happy.
=============
some of us have been blessed
 

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Master Mariner
Joined
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9,278 Posts
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