[pinayreefer]

So the stars are finally aligning and I'm very near to retiring. The boat work is progressing well and I find myself often talking at work about our plans. "Head to the Caribbean and points beyond" from our home in the Panhandle of Florida. We're around cruisers in the marina frequently and have friends who have already left and others who are sitting in the yard with the last touchups to be done.
The thing is, the most common refrain from landlubber friends and coworkers is "What about pirates?" Not storms or big waves or the boat sinking or alien invasion or Obama somehow screwing it all up. No. Pirates. What gives here and what is a comeback that doesn't sound sarcastic or naïve? Right now it's just an "Arrrgg, I'm the pirate they should be worried about!" Got anything better?

 

[northoceanbeach]

I'll be curious. I'm not too snappy myself but it's a fun question. I get hammered with detractors myself. So let's hear the ammo. I need some.

 

[MarkofSeaLife]

There is no ammo. You just cop the drivel. It gets easier now because I can say "well, during my first circumnavigation...."

 

[bljones]

1. Pirates? Are you stupid?
2. I hate yoga. Oh, pirates, not pilates. Sorry, I thought it was a typo, not idiocy.
3. I'm not worried about pirates, I plan to have a ransom contingency fund. I need $1000 from you. No? Then don't ask to come for a sail, cheapskate.
4. When you bought popcorn at the cineplex you got more ripped off by Pirates of the Carribbean than most cruisers ever will.
5. Statistically, you are more likely to be able to lick your elbow than I will be attacked by pirates. Stop trying to lick your elbow. Please.
6. After working/living/being neighbours with you, pirates would be a pleasant relief.
7. Please stop trying to lick your elbow.
8. Pirates only target ships that offer the possiblility of valuable cargo, a valuable vessel, or ransom because someone back home cares about the crew. My ego thanks you. Now, how long have you been this stupid... and do you have a sister?
9. Many restaurants in the Caribbean offer very good desserts, but I have no idea how the pie rates.
10. If I was really worried about the POSSIBILITY of pirates I would stay home like you, and keep working and paying taxes thus ensuring that I am CERTAINLY being pillaged.

and a bonus:

11. It's a cruising thing. You wouldn't understand.

 

[Barquito]

Worried about the Pirates? No, the Cardinals will kick their a$$ this year.

 

[smackdaddy]

I got nothin'.

 

[desert rat]

BL wow you hit it again and again.

 

[utchuckd]

4. When you bought popcorn at the cineplex you got more ripped off by Pirates of the Carribbean than most cruisers ever will.

Yes, I lol'd.

But I did not try to lick my elbow.

 

[krisscross]

I'm not sure that I would respond with some clever comeback line, as for a lot of people it is a natural concern. I would just politely say that "I plan to avoid areas where pirates are known to operate." And this is what I would say to my kids as well.

 

[Group9]

Tell them, once you've survived an IRS audit, pirates are tame.

 

[jimgo]

Tell them that you saw the Tom Hanks movie too and realized what a putz those giant shipping companies really are. You're not as stupid as them - you've already outfitted your boat with a torpedo tube, and plan to carry 10-15 sonar-guided torpedoes onboard.

 

[rbrasi]

I said Caribbean, not Gulf of Aden.
I saw Captain Phillips. It's not so bad.
I have Pirate Insurance. Don't you?

 

[LarryandSusanMacDonald]

Pirates? You mean the folks at the Chandlery?

 

[denverd0n]

"If I run into him, I'll get Johnny Depp's autograph for you."

I think a tad bit of sarcasm is called for, just to let them know what a silly question it is.

 

[gamayun]

I am not quick with the quip, so can't help you there, but it might be helpful to do a little reading on the problem(s) in different areas of the world (though I'm guessing they're referring to Somalia) and then have some facts that can both educate and calm their concerns. Me thinks malaria and dengue are probably bigger risks wherever you might cruise, but they're just not that sexy to talk about.

 

[Barquito]

If I where being serious, I would say that crime due to poverty is a problem in most parts of the world (including the USA). There are some areas that are worse than other. And that you are aware of those areas.

 

[christian.hess]

im too sarcastic and quips are too easy for me...having said that when asked those questions...

like the never ending have you ever been in a storm and how did it feel(I seem to always get THAT question when asked about my past cruising experiences)

I actually do answer and correctly...I always reffer to that one storm and tell them the truth

regarding pirates just say the truth...yeah they are scattered in the african horn and can be dangeorus in or around the gulf of aden

and some parts of indonesia, philipines etc...but most likely a non issue where you are going

thats what I would say


peace

 

[safira]

hmmmmmmmmm ain't had this much fun scince pigs ate my brother!!!!!

 

[capecodda]

Are you talking about Jonny Depp or Keith Richards? Or was it that Depp was channeling Richards. You're right, you especially got to watch out for those skeleton pirates.