Stand-on? Give way?

Twice this past weekend, almost got clipped! I dunno; but every which way I read it, regs say I have right of way. Mebbe I'm not seeing it right tho, so asking for input.

Sunday afternoon back-n-forth.across the channel, lie. so many/all other sails do. Nice beam reach WX. Making way outbound the mooring field and see a HUGE trawler-type anda smaller spedboat coming S. towards me; perhaps 300 yds out.. I'm already centered in the channnel, mebbe 50 yds past/out from the permanent day-marker line. Neither PB slows or diverts. I'm making 2.5kt and figure as the "stand-on' I should hold course and speed. Maybe fifty yards short of me, the speeder (a big one!) veers to my stern at full power, the trawler hold his line and speed (10-12 KT?)...with a five foot or so bow- wave!...and I decide to avoid contact by turning downwind to stbd. Now I'm in the "vee" of two wakes and making. the choice oftaking the smaller (2.5'?) wake head-on and letting thbig, rolling 4+ footertake me on the Stbd. quarter. Both PBs pass within spitting distance.
Bounced, twisted and. turned! I hollerfor my Mate to get. down low and hold on. She ended up on the deck,taking a header into the companionway and. breaking the fire-extinguisher off it's mount .Helluva thing to get smacked in the azz by one wave . while plowing into to opposing.

Almost exactly the same spot on Monday. Opposite direction and runnign beamreach at 3.5kt. Yep! Another "wedding-cake" trawler trying tomakethe marker before me, I suppose . Huge bow wave, no backing down/off and as we came stbd to cut his wake; rose over the first and surfed down into the second, nearly taking it over the bow.
But his Admiral" waved as they went by. :sheesh:, leaving us hobby-horse-ing and rigging snapping and groaning.

So...other than the ubiquitous "Bigger boat has more weight to toss around" answers; what *IS* the rule? Sure and I understand the responssibilty to maintain ssafety and good practices part; hence the move or be crushed instinct cutting in Does the boat travelling the channel have rights over crossing? Am I wrong (Colregs)? or expectintoo much by the way of courtesy on thewater?

Other than that, it was a great three days of sailing