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I find the thing that makes any boating location and the inevitable boat issues more tolerable is making local friends. We typically do. Often a neighbor in the marina or anchorage, sometimes it's just the familiar face of a bartender who recognizes us and listens to our griping. There are certainly days where I need solitude too. But having a friend nearby to open a beer with makes most challenges easier.
 

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I find the thing that makes any boating location and the inevitable boat issues more tolerable is making local friends. We typically do. Often a neighbor in the marina or anchorage, sometimes it's just the familiar face of a bartender who recognizes us and listens to our griping. There are certainly days where I need solitude too. But having a friend nearby to open a beer with makes most challenges easier.
Makes sense... I don't hang a bar... I sometimes with eat at a restaurant with a bar... even sitting at the bar. But even in NPT where I was for years I didn't / wasn't able to bond with the bar tender or any of the regulars.
When I spent long periods in English Harbor I did meet other cruisers who were there for more than a pit stop and made some friends there... and also in Philipsberg St Marten. But my time at eastern Caribbean anchorages was 5 seasons and most other locations... not much. I did actually run into a St Kittian called Sunshine who had a littler restaurant on the beach...grocery shopping one day up here. I guess his biz was seasonal and he had friends to visit in the area. Very unexpected encounter. Very nice fella!
 

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Funny, we are going just the other direction.

We spent 6 months a year on the boat after retiring in 2016. Cvid pushed us back Stateside with the boat. We spent a year in boat refit and now 6 months house refit. Boat refit was cheaper.

We find land living tedious and are looking forward to returning to the boat ASAP. We have pretty much decided to sell our house. Hope the market lasts a bit longer. Should be done with house inside a month.
 

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I'm, with you Don. Only a little different. I've had plenty of adventure on dirt, someone said dirt livers were afraid of adventure. I found plenty in the mountains the last 29 years. I thought I'd live my life as a mountain man roaming the hills. I was a technical climbing guide in Yosemite National Park for 10 years. Plenty of adventure climbing El Cap, climbing Half Dome and damn near every other vertical challenge in that park. First ascents of technical mountains in the Sierra of California. Numerous trips to the mountains of Colorado, Utah, Wyoming, Montana, Nevada , Spain, Greece, Mexico, etc...

But you know what, I'm over it!

I feel like I turned my back on something it feels like a life that was surreal, did I really do it? Cutting edge speed climbs, climbing 2000' vertical frozen waterfalls, sleeping in tents, carrying back packs through the mountains eating out of tin cans, filtering water.... I don't really care if I ever do it again. I was a technical director and co-founder of a national rock climbing guide training program, I wrote article for the US Army Mountain warfare training center, and you know what? I got Bored! Still plenty of adventure left. But I'm getting older (49) I'm tired of walking in the dirt uphill with a heavy pack on, sleeping on the ground, ****ting in a hole.

So now I go sailing.....

One day I may get bored of that, I'll find something else to do if and when that point comes, I hope you have a grand adventure in wherever the choices lead you...
 

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Life is about suffering and rejoicing in the margin where it pauses.... Maybe you just need a break for a few days. Then you will want to get back at it, or perhaps sell out. Boats are not practical, so you need to be somewhat neurotic to get it. It more often requires the dreamer over the cynic.
Water Sky Plant Boat Watercraft
 

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I think for most people they have some sort of vision of their future. Many invest a lot of time and money to make that future their present. That future vision has "things" which appeal to each of us... a trip to the Louvre... anchor off a tropical island... ski the Alps. If it's experience the world is full of them. Living aboard is a future... cruising is another one...When the future becomes the present it may not have the same appeal... especially when it lacks "newness". New is something of enormous appeal and motivation. It might be a reason people divorce.

You get want you wanted but lose what you had.
 

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I have to admit, we are getting tired of boat living. The past 3 years we seem to have not really gone anywhere, just the same places. Between covid and a broken shoulder half of our time has been mostly living on a boat and not cruising. We really only got into boating to see new places and if we aren't, why put up with boat living? At the moment we are at anchor getting hammered by a thunderstorm for the second day in a row hoping not to blow into the shoal 100' away. And it's HOT in the boat, but cool outside that isn't of use with all the hatches shut. And the lightning just made us jump.

When the suck to fun ratio just gets way out of whack I just have wonder why the hell we are doing this!
It wasn't so much about seeing new places for us as we were getting too comfortable and staying at our favorite places far too long. Not doing enough sailing. After 10 or so trips up and down the Windward and Leeward Islands, we knew all the great anchorages in which to do maintenance and catch the occasional meal ashore.
We needed something more.
We chose chartering, as we certainly knew the area well enough to tailor any trip to a customer's wishes. Finally, something to occupy us on those days when we would have just been hanging out. A schedule! Now that's sailing! No weather windows. You've got to be there when you have got to be there, no excuses. Trying to buy food for a charter in the West Indies was one heck of a challenge as well. Numerous trips, Nikki went into the markets with a menu plan and left with a completely different one.
Fortunately, we got our worst charter over with on the first one (they were expecting a 100' Turkish Caique), so the rest were all smooth sailing. We had such a blast, making friends and showing them our world. The only thing missing was me not playing guitar.
[big bass drums play now] And then Covid hit and we needed to change tack. Still haven't figured out the new course.
 

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I have to admit, we are getting tired of boat living. The past 3 years we seem to have not really gone anywhere, just the same places. Between covid and a broken shoulder half of our time has been mostly living on a boat and not cruising. We really only got into boating to see new places and if we aren't, why put up with boat living? At the moment we are at anchor getting hammered by a thunderstorm for the second day in a row hoping not to blow into the shoal 100' away. And it's HOT in the boat, but cool outside that isn't of use with all the hatches shut. And the lightning just made us jump.

When the suck to fun ratio just gets way out of whack I just have wonder why the hell we are doing this!
Interesting thread. I can see how this happens. The way it’s playing out for me seems to be best handled by not boxing myself in to any particular path or expectation. I, like some of my friends, fell into the all or nothing mentality for a time. You’re either a cruiser or you’re not, you’re a live aboard or you’re not for example. Like it was a badge of honor or something. Then I realized the only judgment of what I was doing that mattered was mine. I enjoy many outdoor activities. From mountain climbing to kayaking, as long as I was enjoying the adventure, that’s all that mattered. If the suck ratio started to exceed the enjoyment ratio, I do something else for a while. I really enjoy the restoration/upgrade aspect of sailing boats. It brings me great joy to take a dull area of Apparition and make it shiny and new again. This kind of work kinda sucks to do while living in that area. So I rent a little cottage and do the work, with proper tools and the best part; I can leave it at the end of the day. Everyday I have a list of things to do, like coat four of something, then I take off and go paddling or take a weekend and go hiking. Sometimes I just do nothing and don’t feel guilt about it. Six months on shore and now I’m getting excited about 22’s sailing adventure plan again. I’ll spend a couple years sailing around (next plan is north of New York and Greenland) and then stop somewhere for another “restoration and upgrade” refit where I’ll rent a little place and enjoy other things. Remember back to some of the pioneer cruisers from the past, it seems they did things like this as well. A few years cruising then six months here or there to recharge, refit ect. If that six months turns into a year, so what. As long as you’re doing what you want, that’s all that really matters. I set long range general goals and try to one foot in front of the other, make progress towards them. Even if it’s only an inch a day.

PS: My god are you sailors right about boats breaking themselves when they sit.
 

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This thread reminds me of the old medical scenario:

Patient: "Doctor, doctor... it hurts when I do this!"
Doc: "Well, Don't Do It!"


If living and cruising on a smallish sailboat hurts more than it helps, then Don't Do It. Most of us here are wealthy enough to have choices, so go do something else.

The other thing to realize is that we all change over time. What started as fun and desirable may no longer be ... and that's OK. It shows you can still change and grow. Heck, it shows you're not dead yet.
 

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I'm definitely at that place and time where I just want to get the winterization and decommissioning and unpacking over with and walk away for a bit. It's exactly like moving in and out of your house annually. Same thing every year. The frustration lasts almost exactly 4 weeks, while I do some home based activity, then I wish I had the boat back.
 
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