SailNet Community banner

1 - 20 of 70 Posts

·
Master Mariner
Joined
·
8,957 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Can I ask, what is the right thing to do?
This morning we pulled up our anchor and (much to our dismay) we had another anchor wrapped in our chain and all kinds of line and chain fouling the anchor, probably a lost island style mooring. Fortunately, we were only going to a dock for fuel and water, so this wasn’t interfering with a planned sail. It was a real mess, but our dinghy was in the water and we knew we'd get it undone, eventually. However, cruisers are often the nicest people and before we knew it, our neighbor had dinghied over to help, and then another. A bit later a third person came over and parked his dinghy in front of our chain. We all told this man, who apparently wanted to help, that it was a precarious place to be. He completely ignored all four of us so we shrugged our collective shoulders and resumed clearing our anchor. We were doing it all very cautiously, vocalizing each move because with all the heavy anchors and ground tackle, it would be easy for someone to get hurt. As we raised our anchor a few inches to alleviate some tension on the line we had attached to the other anchor, the 3rd guy’s dinghy was punctured by our anchor! We all felt badly, but what could we do? We had suggested he move several times!
Some hours later, after we had returned from fueling, this man’s wife came over to our boat with another cruising couple (in their dinghy), saying they now had no dinghy. We offered them ours to use while theirs was getting fixed since we wouldn't need it much the next few days. Ignoring this, repeating that they now had no dinghy, his wife asked for compensation for their dinghy. We told her that we all suggested that her husband move his dinghy, but he wouldn't listen. Her response, "He's deaf!” We had absolutely no idea he was deaf. If we had known he was deaf, we would have (for sure) handled the situation very differently.
I have such mixed emotions about this. I understand that this man wanted to help, but he was in fact nothing more than a spectator. We have had some serious expenses over the last few weeks and we are getting married tomorrow, so we are a bit strapped for cash right now. I would like to avoid any ugliness because of this, so it seems easiest to contribute to the repair, though honestly, I do not feel that I have any moral responsibility to do so, in this case. Your 2 cents worth would be appreciated. Thanks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
845 Posts
It's not your responsibility for the stupidity of others.

Stop feeling guilty. They are playing you. They are looking for a hand out. To get them a new dinghy will make you an enabler so that they will be able to sucker others.
 

·
Registered
Corsair 24
Joined
·
4,594 Posts
well thats entirely possible of course but the guy is deaf right?

did you guys signal him to move? like physically?


sucks all in all...this stuff happens for sure

I think youll know deep in your mind if you think the guy and especially his wife is trying to play you...you kind of get that feeling I find...

I think your offer to lend them your dinghy while they fix theirs is fine, but maybe offer a patch kit or some glue or help fixing it?

seems reasonable to me
 

·
Registered
Corsair 24
Joined
·
4,594 Posts
is the dinghy unrepairable?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,705 Posts
I don't believe you have any liability - when someone offers to help they should accept whatever risk there is in it for them. I know I would. If the risk is too high I stay away.

I would not, if I were you, offer the loan of your dink again because now that their motives are clear, they may refuse to give it back.
 

·
Master Mariner
Joined
·
8,957 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
well thats entirely possible of course but the guy is deaf right?

did you guys signal him to move? like physically?


sucks all in all...this stuff happens for sure

I think youll know deep in your mind if you think the guy and especially his wife is trying to play you...you kind of get that feeling I find...

I think your offer to lend them your dinghy while they fix theirs is fine, but maybe offer a patch kit or some glue or help fixing it?

seems reasonable to me
They are taking it to a reputable repair shop on the island. This hole is only repairable professionally, I'm sure.
"did you guys signal him to move? like physically?" Why would we? We had no idea he couldn't hear us? He just seemed to ignore us. It never occurred to me he was deaf?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
780 Posts
Tough situation, but I agree that they assisted you and took that risk on themselves. You didn't know he was deaf, but he did and should have been especially attentive.
 

·
Asleep at the wheel
Joined
·
3,017 Posts
I'm hearing impaired, and severely so without my hearing aids. Whenever I put myself in a position like he did, where I'm in an unfamiliar situation with strangers, I'm always sure to position myself so I can see when people are talking to me, in case I don't hear them right away. I would expect that he would do the same, especially if he is truly deaf.

Have a couple of nice swigs of rum. If you still feel guilty, offer them $50 toward the repair. Yes, it's a token gift, but at least it's something, and he put himself in the situation.

Good luck with the wedding - I hope the weather is perfect and that it is the beginning of many, many years of happiness and magic.
 

·
first sailed january 2008
Joined
·
1,409 Posts
It seems more like a visual situation to me, like he should have seen the action and what was coming, but it wasn't there.

I'm leaning heavily toward it's not your responsibility. What is the cost of repair? It could go either way really. He was trying to help you, and I know the kind of unwanted help we often get. I would not. He didn't ask for money the wife did, and she wasn't even there.
 

·
69' Coronado 25
Joined
·
323 Posts
He came to you. You didn't ask for his assistance therefor your not responsible at all and you should make that clear to the mans wife as well. Good luck with the wedding and the rest of your cruise.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
7,536 Posts
I dont think you are liable.

Have a great wedding :)



(I was just fighting a fire on another guys boat... I was first on board, the owner not on board. Aft cabin ablaze. Broke in. Used my new fire extinguisher. All at my own risk. And I stink and am covered in black crap.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
634 Posts
I agree with those who see no liability in the for you. However a token offer towards the repair ain't a bad idea either unless of course his boat and dink leave an impression of signifant resources :)
 

·
Barquito
Joined
·
3,656 Posts
Just make it clear that you did not ask for help, and that you did your best to protect the safety and property of those involved.
 

·
Closet Powerboater
Joined
·
3,925 Posts
...and we are getting married tomorrow, so we are a bit strapped for cash right now.

Hey, congratulation! You should be focused on this, not the minor dinghy incident. If the guy was deaf, and wanted to help, he should have tried to do so in a way that allowed him to be useful with this limitation and not a danger to himself and others. Reading lips, letting you know he was deaf, etc.

If you were in his shoes would you expect compensation? I wouldn't. I think your offer of the dinghy to use was fair.

Don't give it another thought. You're not in the wrong here. Focus on the wedding and remember, you're about to get married, so you're not just going to be strapped for cash now, you're going to be strapped for cash forever man! :laugher

MedSailor
 

·
Closet Powerboater
Joined
·
3,925 Posts
(I was just fighting a fire on another guys boat... I was first on board, the owner not on board. Aft cabin ablaze. Broke in. Used my new fire extinguisher. All at my own risk. And I stink and am covered in black crap.)
So are you going to go after the owner for your dry cleaning bill and an extinguisher refill? :)

Medsailor
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
545 Posts
IT IS NOT YOUR RESOPNSIBILITY, however th hearing impaired appears to be a great friend . see what you can do to do to make a friendship happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,517 Posts
Man...you cruisers are a cheapass bunch. Damage done when he was trying to help. Kick the guy a $100 to help his repair and chalk it up to good karma. You spend more on a dinner and drinks now than that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23,440 Posts
No legal liability, based on the story, but that's not really the question. Is it the right thing to do? Hard to say, not being there to really see how the situation came about.

Here's the best I can offer. Assume money is no object. Would you then be inclined to help with the repair? If not, that's your answer. If so, that's your answer. What you have may limit what you can do, but it does not determine what is right or wrong.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jwing

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,064 Posts
You aren't responsible. Feeling bad that something happened doesn't make you responsible for making it "right".

Some say giving the guy a few bucks toward the repair would be the right action. I say giving him a nickel signifies that you bear some responsibility for what happened.

You don't.

Whether you have the money or not is not the issue.

Congratulations to both you and the bride.
 
1 - 20 of 70 Posts
Top