Here's what I've observed:

Not listening before talking
not changing from the hailing channel(s) to working channels
not using low power
not realizing that anyone can hear what you say
not keeping the mic an inch or two away from your mouth as you speak
using "quaint" phonetics just because you made them up
playing music over the VHF
intentionally jamming channels
becoming an active member of the frequency police

 

playing music?!? roflmao...takes all kinds!! cant the CG triangulate a VHF signal or something? amazing how much jackassery goes on. my guess is 0% - 10% of rec. stinkers ever turn it on.

as for CB slang, thanks a lot, now i have the 'dukes of hazzard' theme song in my head.

 

30 years ago, when there was no cell phone. I got myself a CB and I tried to use it. A trucker was laughing at me because I sounded funny. Since then I have seldom spoken.

I hope there are organizations to help those who are afraid to a mike. I am not afraid of public speaking as I give talks and seminar all the time. But I freeze with a mike in my hand. I need to overcome this.

 

I hear a lot of CB slang amongst the local fisherman here. Sometimes I hear yachtties getting into very in-depth conversations with marinas about their amenities that would be better handled over a cell phone.

I set my VHF to scan between 13, 16, 68 and 78. I listen, but don't talk unless I have to. I divert to the WX channels occasionally to keep updated on the weather. I coordinate meetups on the cell phone ahead of time.

I have an unfair advantage and I'm biased. I've been a US Navy communications ET for 20 years.

 

I always seem to get tongue-tied when I try and use the radio. I'll practice with my buddy when we go out next week, where I'll attempt to keep up with him in an informal quasi-race (rain or shine).

I always monitor Channel 16 when I go out.

 

Last time I was up in the Apostles we heard a kid, maybe 5 if he was a day, playing "radio" on the VHF on their boat, on 16. At least he didn't know about maydays.......

Also heard a few folks on 16 just chatting away.....

 

I heard a Mayday! Mayday! this summer. Guy was pretty agitated. Turns out he was a couple hundred yards offshore on an inland lake when he discovered he hadn't put the plug in his runabout when he launched and was taking on water.

I hear a lot of boaters hailing other boats and stating that: "...this is Windwalker on channel 9..." I always want to tell them that if the boat they're calling isn't on 9 already, they can't hear you, and if they are, THEY ALREADY KNOW!!

I hear plenty of chatter on 9.

I hear a lot of boaters using restricted channels for chatter.

 

I hear a lot of boaters hailing other boats and stating that: "...this is Windwalker on channel 9..." I always want to tell them that if the boat they're calling isn't on 9 already, they can't hear you, and if they are, THEY ALREADY KNOW!!

Not necessarily. Many of us keep watch on multiple channels, as does commercial traffic. I keep my radio on tri-watch 16/13/09 most of the time. It helps if incoming traffic lets me know what channel they are calling on.

 

Not even the egregious violations like chattering on 16, but even the small stuff, I'm soooo picky! I hate it when anyone uses, "10-4" (is that CB slang?). Or "over and out" - it's one or the other, not both.

Minor, but it's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me when they go back and forth trying to pick a channel. You could do this in two sentences instead of five. Too much Navy here too I guess:

"Clueless, clueless, clueless, this is Windbag calling, over" ...
"Windbag, this is clueless" ...
"Clueless, this is Windbag, pick a channel" ...
"Windbag, how about 68?"
"Okay, this is Windbag, going to 68"

Then they'll come back to 16 to pick another channel because 68 was crowded. <*sigh*>

Maybe we should post some sample scripts for things like hailing a barge or a bridge so the radio-shy among us have something to work from?

 

I hate it when anyone uses, "10-4" (is that CB slang?).

The 10-code system was originally developed for police radio use - many, many years ago - but yeah, it's pretty much CB slang these days, especially since more and more police agencies are going to "plain speak".

Peace, (or should I say Over and Out? Hehehe)

6P

 

(On VHF 13) "Mudpuddle Bridgetender, Mudpuddle Bridgetender, this is northbound sailing vessel Ragbagger, requesting your next opening" seems to work well.

"Northbound barge near red buoy 82, this is sailing vessel Ragbagger off your starboard bow, how would you like to pass?"

Others?

 

"over and out" makes me roll laughing.

over: "I'm done talking and ready to listen to you"

out: "Closing my station done"

over and out: "I'm done talking, it's your turn, but I won't listen"

 

just curious...is there a rule (other than common sense) that disallows you from naming your boat the 'mayday mayday?' that could turn out to be a real laural and hardy deal.... this is the s/v mayday mayday...

 

Actually, it would be a huge PITA. The Barnet Sailing Co-op has a Catalina 27 named My Way. Many skippers reported that when they initiated conversations, the first response was from the CCG, asking if they required assistance. To reduce the confusion and the CCG's workload, most skippers on that boat now identify themselves as "S/V My Way"

 

My #1 pet peeve using HIGH POWER to hail the freaking launch. We regularly hear vessels 13+ miles away hailing the launch at a popular resort destination.

Your radio has a HIGH and LOW power setting! PLEASE USE LOW unless you ABSOLUTELY need to use HIGH power.

over and out good buddy...:laugher

 

My #1 pet peeve using HIGH POWER to hail the freaking launch. We regularly hear vessels 13+ miles away hailing the launch at a popular resort destination.

Heh, if I don't use high power the launch/harbormaster can't hear my puny handheld VHF

 

"Over & Out" for some reason has always been a favorite of the entertainment industry, both television and film. It's your turn to talk and I'm hanging up. I had the pleasure of learning radio protocol at the U.S. Army Armor School in Ft. Knox. Whenever the phrase came up the student was required to bend full "over" from the waist and get "out" of the classroom, bleachers or even occasionally the tank.

Attention whenever pronounced as "tin-hut" (also a Hollywood favorite) would get a garbage can placed over the head of the offender (a tin hut) to be worn for an hour.

And what's with the "radio checks" on channel 16? If you have owned a boat for anything more than a week and listened to the radio - you have had to hear the USCG scold the offender and send him off to 09, yet every weekend dozens seem to need the radio checked on channel 16.

Former military rarely use "repeat" either, instead the correct phrase is "say-again" - but that reason is a bit esoteric and non civilian...

There are designated non-comercial working channels for marine VHF, but you hear people going to any channel they can think of - as though they are all fair game.

I still reply "loud & clear" (when the signal is strong without interference) to a radio check, but that is my military roots too. The police protocol, 5x5, etc. is really a much more effective response to a radio check for anything other than L&C. Who can ever remember the correct subsets to L&C (no fair looking them up!)

 

I get a kick out of the guys that instruct boaters around them on proper wake size and proper crossing ettiquette while violating radio ettiquette by doing it on 16. Arrgh! It's really hard to guard 16 at times, I just want to pull my hair out sometimes. I feel sorry for the coasties that have to listen to it day after day.

 

Here in the UK all vessels operating a VHF have to be licenced and the operator holding a short range certificate. Having said this the fact that licencing of the boat has in recent years become free reflects the fact that many yachties dont have a licence.

The best I ever overheard on the calling chanel was when heading out into the Irish Sea(The bit of water between mainland UK and Ireland)
"What the f...ing hell have you done!"-"What are you f...ing talking about?"-"Anyone can see what I am f..ing talking about"
We took a look about and in the distance we could see a sizeable inshore fishing boat which looked like it was burning coal judging by the clouds of jet black smoke issuing from its exhaust stack!
The conversation between the captain and mechanic went on for some twenty minutes and was made even funnier in that it was very much in the local English dialect of that part of the world.

 

Eryka,

Loved the "over and out!"

OVER - means I am through with my contribution of the existing conversation and I am awaiting your response. The mike is off, the radio volume is still on waiting for a reply, and the listening ears are on.

OUT - means, I am done with this conversation, going to another channel, or putting my PJ's on.

It can't be both, never should be both, if it is both, there is an idiot on the radio.

 

Roger dodger ... over and out
10-4 good buddy what's your 20
Looking for a fishing report ... where are the fish?
My vessel name is Jamaica Albert Mine Itchy Nail

Ah ... the craziness on 16 !!!

My personal favorite was a Mayday off Louisiana for someone that ended up being seasick (didn't know that till we got there and realized the vessel was sound and the seas light). The really funny part: it was his friends boat and he and his seasick wife jumped off when a local fishing vessel came by to see if they needed assistance leaving the sailboat adrift and potentially up for salvage. That can dent a friendship!

Ex-Coastie c130 navigator.

 

The really funny part: it was his friends boat and he and his seasick wife jumped off when a local fishing vessel came by to see if they needed assistance leaving the sailboat adrift and potentially up for salvage. That can dent a friendship!

You're saying they abandoned their vessel at sea because they were seasick? :laugher

 

Can't believe nobody's mentioned:

Do we have clearance, Clarence?
Roger, Roger!

 

In Oz we have a legal requirement for VHF operators to be licensed.

I used to think that the US system made more sense.

Now I'm beginning to wonder.

 

In Oz we have a legal requirement for VHF operators to be licensed.

License is required in Canada as well.

 

hey wwilson, did they actually say 'lock and load' or is that hollywood too? i would think its hollywood, 'cause when operating a firearm you really 'load' then 'lock'....

 

...did they actually say 'lock and load' or is that hollywood too?....

The expression is correct, the "lock" refers to locking the bolt, since numerous firearms fire from an open bolt.

We had a cash jar into which everyone had to pay $5 for:
a) using the term "clip" instead of "magazine"
b) using the term "jam" ("jam" is put on toast, firearms "malfunction")
c) saying "weapon" instead of "firearm".

Back to the thread:

This summer in the BVI I was at the dock in front of my boat in the morning when an older, somewhat aggravated, charter guest came to me and asked if I had a radio, since he needed to contact the (absent) dockmaster in order to get his free ice. I went below and gave him my handheld VHF and he presses the transmit button "hello, HELLO? I need Ice!!!". I mentioned to him that he was using ch. 16 and that everyone could hear him, but the ensuing radio conversation went downhill rapidly from there on. Luckily, I got my radio back and was glad that the VHF didn't have DSC that could be traced back to me or have ATIS (which is slowly becoming required in europe).

 

Ok, captains, sooooo...............

What is the proper radio etiquette to flirt with the bikini-clad babe in the power boat just about to pass you? When single handed, I always have the urge. :laugher :laugher :laugher

 

Hot babe boat..Hot babe boat...this is S/v Rockdawg..over.

She answers..sweetly and correctly...your excitement is really building now.

Hot babe boat...this is rockdawg..lets roll over to 69...over

She answers..Hot Babe boat..negative 69 rockdawg...happy with current position, heading and frequency....out.

 

I assure you Dawg, she isn't listening.

 

Somehow I got the idea that when I left the US of A, VHF 16 would get quiet. Hah!

What I really learned is that everyone is on 16 - boaters, taxis, markets, marinas, jammers, DJs, and assorted fruits, nuts and flakes. Now instead of leaving it on, I turn it on for the morning coffee clatch and then turn it off. I simply can't stand the noise!

 

Somehow I got the idea that when I left the US of A, VHF 16 would get quiet. Hah!...

Really depressing - I hoped it was a local thing. Around here, deciding to sail a 40 or 50 foot boat is too often simply a matter of making the payments - no experience needed.

Pretty sure 16 is falling into disuse on the Chesapeake in some instances too. I hear (usually sailboats) frantically hailing tugs on 16 with no reply. As soon as someone tells them to use 13 - problem solved!

And - (as long as there is a good rant going) why don't more people get a (free) MMSI# and use DSC? Almost all fixed mount radios sold since 1998 have it built in, it takes less than 5-min to program and it works slick as snot - no hail on 16 is ever needed (for boat to boat chat).

 

Whenever I hear someone asking for a "radio check" on 16, I am tempted to say, "The radio's fine. Now go learn how to use it!"

I don't, because that would be hypocritical of me, but...

 

Hmm... my experience is super limited, but around Boston I've only heard very professional-sounding use of channel 16 (and 9 and 69, when I was calling a launch). The only unprofessional thing I can recall was someone calling on 16 saying "what's the channel for radio check?", to which someone else replied "9"... neither identified who they were. Channel 16 also doesn't seem to be too crowded. I recall only hearing one transmission every 5 minutes or so, maybe not even that often, when I was out for about 4 hours two weekends ago. Of course, when I turned the squelch down there was a lot of unintelligible noise, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have it up so high that it would block meaningful transmissions.

Anyways, in the vein of this thread, I think it's a good place to ask a question I've wondered for quite a while: how do you hail an unknown vessel? I have an old radar (sans chartplotter overlay), so I can't even reliably get the other vessel's coordinates.

 

... how do you hail an unknown vessel? I have an old radar (sans chartplotter overlay), so I can't even reliably get the other vessel's coordinates.

"Southbound tug & barge off of Hollow Point, this is s/v Yadayada, 500 yards off your port bow - over"